Two of a Kind
by MuffledSnickers
Summary: AU: Humorfic! Someone's done a body-swap with Rogue & Remy! Watch as the spunky Southerners try to discover how to fix themselves and give each other hell as they pretend to the rest of the mansion that nothing's wrong!
1. Prologue: Waking Up

_**A/N: Hey everyone! 'M back with another humor Rogue & Remy fic. The thought struck me as I was thinking about new plot ideas to do: why not have a body swap? And then just so many ideas were all popping into my head at once! I'm really pretty psyched about this one and I hope you guys like it too. Anyway, tell me whatcha ya'll think!**_

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Rogue groaned softly as she bridged the first step into consciousness. Her head pounded away a mile a minute and she vaguely wondered who had hit her with the sledgehammer. Rogue took an extra minute of shut-eye, just resting, before she forced herself to lazily open her eyes.

Her blurry gaze met with the white ceiling of her bedroom and Rogue suppressed another groan as she flexed her fingers and stretched her legs, trying to get the tingle out of them. She frowned when the tingle refused to dissipate. Something didn't feel right. As a whole, Rogue felt…different. It was a strange feeling, like she wasn't really accustomed to the long length of her legs or the practiced ease with the flex of her fingers.

Rogue turned her hazy gaze to her hand and squinted as her eyes focused. _What the…?_ Her hand was half covered in a fingerless, black glove, the type Remy always wore for easy access to his powers. _Is mah hand bigger than normal?_ Rogue flexed her fingers experimentally. The tingle was still there; her fingers coiled in and out with practiced ease and finesse. Yawning, Rogue clawed at the blanket on top of her, fighting to push it away as she sat up.

As soon as Rogue's fingers came into contact with the blanket, the comforter lit up a bright magenta color that glowed softly in the surrounding darkness. Rogue jumped away and yelped as her foggy mind registered Remy's power triggering, kinetically charging the blanket. She had half a second to digest this before her eyes popped open wide with realization. Rogue dove out from under the comforter and leapt into the air as the blanket, filled with kinetic energy, exploded behind her. The force of the explosion threw her forward—right onto the bed next to hers. Rogue crashed into the bed's occupant and rolled, falling off the other side of the bed with a _thump._

"What the hell?" An annoyed voice responded to her attack, sitting up in bed. Rogue's eyes widened at the sound of the voice. _Bobby? What the hell is he doin' in mah room?_ "Remy, just what the hell are you doing?"

Rogue groaned softly and picked herself up off the floor, turning and looking around the room for Remy. He wasn't there. Rogue's eyes turned back to Bobby in time to catch him rolling his eyes. "Oh give it a break, I know it was you. Come'on, man, do you _have_ to go exploding things this early in the morning?"

Rogue blinked once as his gaze stayed steady on her. "I—uh…" Rogue froze at the sound of her voice.

Husky and undeniably masculine, her voice was not her own. Her tongue felt weird and thick in her mouth. Rogue blinked again in confusion as she brought both her hands up to her eyes, staring in wonder at her fingerless, gloved hands. _Ah swear, mah hands aren't that thick…what's goin' on here?_

Bobby shook his head at her. "You can never keep still. I'm going back to sleep. Don't explode anything over me again, okay?"

"Sorry…" Rogue mumbled softly, again her voice sounded deep and manly. Rogue glanced down at herself to make sure she was alright—only to take a double take and rear back against the wall in shock. Her back hit the wall behind her as her eyes widened in horror as she looked down at herself.

Instead of her shapely, curvy, feminine figure she was used to, Rogue found herself staring at a broad, flat, undressed chest. She couldn't believe she hadn't felt it before, but Rogue was severely underdressed and—Rogue's eyes widened even more as she felt a telltale member that she had no reason to ever feel as a part of her body.

Panicked and breathing heavily now, Rogue got to her feet, ignoring the stabbing pains from the explosion, and rushed over to the adjoining bathroom that every room in Xavier's had. When she saw her reflection, Rogue froze in fear as her heart pounded away at a mile a minute.

Staring back at her was the reflection of a man she knew all too well. A shocked expression across his face that mirrored her own, Rogue stood in horror as her eyes roamed the length of the mirror. Red on black eyes zipped up and down in accordance to Rogue's scan as she looked herself up and down, analyzing the lean, wiry body she found herself in. A flat, shirtless chest led down to lean, corded, muscular legs that stuck out of short boxers with a whole mess in the middle that she had no curiosity to look at.

Rogue screamed.

It went on for at least half a minute before Bobby grumbled at her to shut up and threw a pillow in her direction. Rogue lifted her hands out of the way as the missile assaulted her, in no such mood to experience another explosion. Breathing labored, Rogue put a hand to her—his—chest and felt her—his—heart beating rapidly under her partially gloved palm. Rogue pulled her hand away quickly in fright as her red-on-black eyes lifted again to stare in abject horror at her body.

_What's happened ta meh? Did…did Remy do this? Oh-my-god! Is he in mah body?!_ Horrorstruck at the notion, Rogue shouldered her way out of their dorm room—careful not to touch the handle, in case Remy's mutation went off again. She could still feel the persistent tingling in her fingers and didn't want to risk setting anything off. Rogue felt weird and unmatched, running through the halls in Remy's body like this. Her fingers twitched and her legs felt unnaturally long, her strides longer than they would have been in her own body. Her muscled, masculine body felt abnormal and Rogue was uncannily aware of how breezy it felt to run like this. She was beyond uncomfortable.

When Rogue reached her bedroom door, she hesitated before grabbing the door handle. It didn't light up like the blanket, but Rogue wasn't too willing to push her luck. She quickly twisted the knob and threw open the door to reveal herself—or her body, at least—standing in the middle of the room as she glanced around in confusion.

"No!" Rogue shouted, charging in and leaping at herself. She tackled her body to the ground as her body made a surprised gasp and yelped. Rogue fell to the floor with her body below her and made quick work of pinning her body beneath her. The imposter in Rogue's body didn't even struggle as Rogue sat on her stomach and pinned her down beneath her. "What did ya do?" Rogue demanded harshly. "This isn't funny, Remy, ya asshole! Fix it!"

Remy-in-Rogue's body smiled up at her from underneath her. "I didn' do dis."

"Lihke hell ya didn't!" Rogue roared, pulling back a fist to hit him—before hesitating.

Remy's grin broadened. "Y' not gunna hit good ol' Remy, _chere._ Not when he looks like dis—are ya?"

"Remy!" Rogue growled. "Fix this! This—this—stop this!"

Kitty woke up at the loud voices and rubbed her eyes tiredly before sitting up and glancing at the clock beside her. "Rogue?" She asked wearily, glancing at her roommate's bed. "It's four thir—oh my god!" Kitty gasped as her eyes rolled over the bed and focused on the two on the floor. "Remy, what're you doing?!" Kitty gasped, jumping out of bed and speeding over to them.

Before Rogue even had a chance to respond, Kitty swung at her and connected solidly with her jaw. A blazing pain erupted at her jaw and Rogue grabbed the spot with both hands in pain as a soft moan escaped her lips. _Who woulda known that Kitty hits so hard? _Kitty hauled back for another punch.

"No, Kitty!" Rogue shouted, holding up her hands in a surrender motion. "This isn't what it looks lihke—" she barely got the sentence out before the second punch connected, this time with her eye. Rogue was pitched back with this one and toppled off Remy.

Kitty went to Remy's side and looked down at him tenderly. "Are you alright, Rogue? He didn't…"

"'M okay." Remy responded, but he had winced when Kitty hit Rogue. When he got his body back, that would hurt, he knew. Kitty started over for Remy's body again before Remy called out a warning to stop her. Trying his best to imitate Rogue's lilt instead of his own, he told her. "Kit-do yaah t'ink tat yahh could give us a moment? Remy—Ahh…mean, Remy an' me, we gotta talk."

"Are you sure, Rogue?" Kitty asked doubtfully, glancing between them both. "He was jus-"

"Ahh know." Remy waved her off, doing a poor imitation of Rogue's accent. "Ahh jus' gotta talk wit' ta _fil-_guy."

Kitty was looking at her strangely. "Okay Rogue… if you need help, just scream."

Remy nodded. "I'll do tat."

Rogue was still rubbing her chin as she clambered to her feet. Kitty gave her a dark glare. "Don't try anything." She warned.

Rogue grabbed Remy's hand and started walking out of the room with him. "Let's go." She snapped darkly. Rogue led them outside into the hallway and trampled down it until they had left the dormitories. She turned into the first empty classroom that came into view and turned on Remy, breathing heavily as if she'd just run a marathon. "Ah want the truth, Remy. Did you do this ta me?"

"_Cherie,_ I assure y', it was jus' as terrifyin' for Remy t' wake up without his parts as it musta been fo' y' t' wake up wit' dem."

Rogue breathed out heavily again. "This can't be happenin' ta me."

"T' y', _chere?_ Y' be blessed t' be in Remy's shoes fo' a time. Maybe y' learn how t' have fun, _heh?_ We're like a Rogue-and-Remy mixed now! Like a Remgue or-or a Romy! We're a Romy, _chere!_"

Rogue glared at him sharply. "Do you think this is funny or somethin'?"

Remy smiled. "Maybe a lil' bit. Hey—y' can touch now _Cherie_, don' go wildly whorin' in my body now, y'hear?"

Rogue swiped at him, but Remy easily ducked. He grinned at her again. "Hey, _fille_, remember what we said 'bout hittin' ourselves?"

"Screw you, Cajun."

"Y' de Cajun now, _homme_." Remy was obviously enjoying himself. "Don' go ruinin' my rep now. Dere'll be absolutely no hittin' on de boys, y' got me?"

"We need ta think about how ta get outa this." Rogue redirected his attention. "Ah have no intention of stayin' lihke this fohr any longer than Ah have ta."

"Remy's fine wi'h dat idea." Remy agreed with her. "But I have t' request dat we don' tell anybody 'bout dis little switchy."

Rogue's eyes widened with horror. "Of course we're not telling anybody! The last thing Ah want is ta be the laughin' stock of the school."

"Not t' mention, dey'll dink y' crazy." Remy paused, then added. "Well, crazier dan dey already t'ink y' are fo' ever resistin' me, _heh?_"

Rogue glared at him darkly, but held back from swinging at him again. "We're gunna need ta be convincing as each other." She warned. "Lihke that accent ya put on me back there? That wasn't convincing."

Remy pouted. "I did good!" Remy protested. "I held out on all y' 'yaahh's an' screamed 'ahh!' for all m' 'I's."

"Ah don' not 'scream Ahh! when Ah say Ah."

"Y' jus' did." Remy pointed out.

"Shut up!" Rogue growled irritably.

"See now, y' gunna have t' watch y' temper like dat too, _Cherie_. Remy's a very cool, calm boy. Very fun. I don' ever get angry."

Rogue glared at him.

"Dat either!" Remy said, making his point. "None o' dat 'm-so-mad-at-de-world crap is gunna be convincin'." Remy spoke again before Rogue could. "Now, y' try Remy's accent. Make 'er convincin'."

"It's not hard ta talk lihke an idiot." Rogue spat. Remy put his hands on his hips in a stubborn movement. It looked a little too close to the same kind of stubborn reaction Rogue would give for her comfort. Rogue huffed. "Oh look, dat _fille_ is slidin' her ass all over de place—let's go have a feel!"

Remy grinned roguishly. "'M so proud o' y'."

"Now you trah." Rogue directed. "Talk lihke meh."

"Ohh mah, Ahh jus' feel so horny wit' mah unfulfilled desire ta touch dat beautiful Cajun Remy!" Remy held his hand over his heart dramatically. "Woe is me!"

Rogue suckerpunched him in the boob. "Ow!" Remy cried out, grabbing her body's boob. "Dat hurt!"

"Don't touch them!" Rogue protested, swatting Remy's hand away from her body's chest.

Remy grinned lazily. "Oh, y' mean like diiiiss?" He poked himself in the boob again before cupping himself. "Oh, dese jus' feel _soo_ sexy, I—"

Rogue tackled him and grabbed his hands, holding them away from her body. "Don't touch me, Remy! Ah'm serious! Ah'll—Ah'll—"

"Y' do what?" Remy asked, still smiling despite Rogue's anger. "Touch me? Go ahead, _fille,_ feel free. Y' can even hold it if y' want—"

Rogue winced. "Ugh! Stop! No more!"

Remy giggled. "An' usually Remy sees de girl sayin' dose words, not 'imself."

"Remy, Ah will tie ya up and lock ya in the closet if ya don't start behavin'." Rogue threatened.

"Oh yeah?" Remy pushed. "Y' jus' gunna lock y' body away?"

"Ah'm stronger than you now." Rogue threatened.

"Dat don' mean nothin'." Remy shook his head.

Rogue glared again dangerously. "You're not gunna touch me again, got it Cajun?"

"What is it 'm supposed t' say here?" Remy gave her that cockeyed smile that he always wore. It looked strange and different, coming from her face. "_Oui, _master?"

"That'd be a good start." Rogue lifted her new chin to him. "Ah'm not lettin' ya out 'till ya promise it."

Remy lowered his gaze to his own body on top of him. "Y' forgettin' somet'ing, _chere._"

"An' what's that?" Rogue asked snappily.

Remy lifted his knee and brought it up to Rogue's crotch quickly. A white hot, searing agony tore up Rogue from the spot. Rogue's grip on Remy disintegrated as her hands went instead to his member and she held his crotch in pain, moaning softly and blinking away tears.

Remy grinned down at her as he got to his feet. "Dat still hurts more dan a boob-punch."

Rogue whimpered, still holding his crotch.

"Remy knew y' wanted t' touch him, _chere._"

"You…asshole!" Rogue breathed heavily, shutting her eyes as the pain slowly started to recede.

"Here, Remy help y' up, _fille._" Remy grabbed his body from under the arms and hauled himself up, patting his shoulder affectionately. "Dere, dere, it'll be alright." Rogue had to lean against him for support just to stay standing.

"That kills!" she moaned, wincing and putting her head back against her own chest.

"Hey, look at de bright side." Remy pointed out. "Dey're my balls."

"Don't _ever_ do that again." Rogue warned, finally standing herself and stepping away from Remy.

"Remy jus' wanted t' show y' dat y' don' hold all de cards wi'h me." He paused. "So what now?"

"Now that mah balls are on fire or now that we're done?" Rogue snapped.

"Remy actually meant de whole switchy-part. Where do we start lookin'?"

"Ah don' know." Rogue replied, removing her hands from his crotch now. The action made her blush as she realized that she'd been holding on to Remy's goods for quite a little bit there.

Remy caught her blush. "Like what y' feel?" He asked her naughtily.

"Shut up." Rogue replied, her blush increasing terribly. "Let's jus' get some rules down right now."

Remy gestured graciously. "By all means, _chere._"

"First—you will _not_ touch me, Remy—not any part of me!"

Remy nodded. "An' I have no qualms 'bout y' doin' de same. Nex' rule?"

"Lihke Ah'd want ta." Rogue sneered at him. "Next: Ya will _not_ kiss, flirt, suggestively touch or whisper ta _any_ girl in this mansion."

"So I can call up a hoe from outside de mansion, gotcha _chere._ Next?"

Rogue glared at him darkly. "Ya will not _look_ at me when ya go ta shower or go ta the bathroom."

"Any more, _petit_?" Remy asked, obviously ignoring everything she was saying.

"That's all fohr now, but Ah'm allowed ta add ta the list whenever Ah want."

Remy nodded. "Okay. Dat sounds fair. Y' ready fo' my rules now?"

"Your rules? Ya don't get rules."

"Now _chere,_ dat's hardly fair." Remy began reaching for her pants. "If I don' get rules—"

"No! Fahne!" Rogue protested. "What are your rules?"

Remy smiled and ran her hand through her hair instead. "My rules are dis: y' not allowed t' turn an attractive woman away."

Rogue gaped at him. "Ah'm not gunna sleep with a woman if she comes hoe-ing up on me!"

"Y' don' have t'." Remy explained patiently. "Y' jus' politely make up an excuse 'till we get dis all worked out."

Rogue made a face that showed she was obviously displeased. "And?"

"An' y' will not make Remy look stupid o' gay, 'kay?"

"That goes fohr me too." Rogue warned.

Remy nodded. "Dat's fine."

"Nothing else?" Rogue asked.

"No, dat good fo' now, but Remy reserves de right t' add t' de list too."

"'Kay, so where do we start?" Rogue asked, anxious to get this awful ordeal done with.

Remy yawned. "I don' know 'bout y', _chere_, but it's four in da mornin'. 'M goin' back t' bed."

"What? Yah jus' leavin' us lihke this? Jus' lihke that?"

Remy shrugged. "Y' can join me if'n y' want. Maybe we switch back if y' sleep wit' y'self, _heh_?"

Rogue growled irately as Remy reached for the door handle. "Night, _chere._ Dis gunna be an interestin' morning, _heh?_" the door shut behind him. Rogue breathed in a deep sigh and ran her fingers through her now-shorter hair.

"Why is it always me?!"


	2. Awkward

**Rogue opened her eyes for a second time that morning with a very embarrassing need to pee. **She cringed at the very idea of it, but she knew that doing so was going to be a necessary evil until the situation got fixed. _Ah can't believe Ah'm doin' this._ Rogue pulled down her boxers once in the bathroom and tried to train her gaze away. _Come on…_Rogue urged silently. The act felt all wrong and terribly awkward. Her bladder ached, but this didn't feel natural. She was having trouble focusing on relaxing that part of her body.

_God, kill me now._

Rogue breathed in deeply and shut her eyes, trying to relax while simultaneously wishing she wasn't in this predicament.

"Remy!" Rogue jerked in surprise and opened her eyes, her gaze shooting towards the door. "Remy, hurry up!" Bobby called out again. "I've gotta piss, man!"

_Funny. Me too._ Rogue took in another deep breath to settle herself down from Bobby's abrupt call. _Just relax-oh, there! _Rogue breathed a sigh of relief and turned her head away again. _Ah'm not drinkin' anything 'till this is all over with._ Rogue vowed silently. After she had relieved herself, Rogue hesitated. _Do men wipe? Ugh, it just feels weird not to, but…_ tentatively grabbing a piece of toilet paper, Rogue dabbed at the offending appendage lightly before discarding the toilet paper in the toilet and flushing.

"Come on, Remy!" Bobby howled, frustrated. Rogue pulled up her boxers quickly, pulling them over her foreign member before adjusting the shorts back down again. She took half a minute to wash her hands, half because she wanted to annoy Bobby for disrupting her during a very uncomfortable procedure and half because she felt the need to scrub her hands clean harshly, despite the fact that she hadn't actually touched it. _Ah have a penis and Ah can't escape from it._ Rogue thought sullenly, finally opening the door and quickly shutting it behind her as Bobby rushed past into the room.

Her whole uncomfortable experience just made her think of what trouble Remy was perhaps having with her own body. That thought, in turn, made her cringe. _This is so wrong right now, Ah can't even say._

Rogue glanced around the room speculatively. _Which of these clothes are Remy's and which are Bobby's? How will Ah know?_ Rogue walked up to the closet closest to her and opened the doors, briefly scanning through the shirts as she went through. _Justin Timberlake, Backstreet Boys…Rihanna?…this is definitely Bobby's closet._ Rogue quietly shut the closet doors again and went over to the second closet in the room.

Two nice stacks of t-shirts greeted her on the shelf: one stack was all white and the other was all black. There was also a neat stack of dark blue boxers and another of black ones._ What selection._ Rogue thought sarcastically. Hanging up were a few trench coats, one light tan and the others tanner with one brown. Next to those were a row of jeans, ranging from light to dark and color coded in his closet. _Just what should Ah wear?_ Rogue shook her head and grabbed a pair of dark jeans, blue boxers, and a black t-shirt. Feeling awkward once again, Rogue waited until Bobby was finished in the bathroom before slipping back in. _Ah can't believe Ah'm really goin' through this. Why can't this jus' be a horrific nightmare? What did Ah ever do ta deserve this?_

Nobody answered Rogue's pleas of help. Rogue undressed herself and, keeping her eyes up and away from her lower workings, she stepped into the shower. The shower went quickly. Rogue had to resist the urge to shave, the hairs on her legs and under her arms were terribly uncomfortable, but she didn't think Remy would be very happy with her if she came out of the shower all shaved up. He might then take some liberties with her own body and Rogue didn't want that. So, ignoring the urge to shave, Rogue washed her hair quickly. It went a lot faster when there was so much less, she marveled, and stepped out of the shower only six minutes later.

Rogue dressed quickly and winced again as she pulled up the pair of boxers. _These are so freakin' uncomfortable, why doesn't he wear briefs?_ The jeans followed shortly after. Rogue hesitated before pulling the shirt on. She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment. _Remy doesn't have any chest hair. _She thought randomly. _Does he shave it?_ She shook herself lightly before pulling on Remy's shirt and leaving the bathroom.

Rogue made her way out the door, doing her best to ignore Bobby, who was blatantly naked in the middle of their room. She left quickly and headed for the kitchen, prepared to grab something to eat before her morning class with Scott. Rogue was just moseying around in the refrigerator when a hand clamped down on her shoulder. Rogue jumped and banged her head against the top of the refrigerator before turning around in surprise.

"Jumpy much?" John asked, his eyebrows rose at her. "I'm just making sure we're still on for poker later tonight."

Rogue's heart was still beating fast with the surprising intrusion. "Poker-yeah." _Oh, shit! _"Remy mean _oui._" Rogue nodded. _That sounded more lihke him, right? _"We be playin' da poker."

John nodded. "Okay…you okay, man? You seem a little fidgety…"

_They already think Ah'm suspicious!_ Fighting to still herself, Rogue nodded. "_Oui_, jus' had an…interestin' night."

John suddenly smiled then. "Interesting, huh? Did you call up those girls from the hooker bar to—"

Rogue interrupted him as her eyes widened. She really didn't care to hear this. Besides, over John's shoulder, Remy had just walked into the room. "Look! Dere's Rogue! If ya excuse me, John, 'm gunna go…annoy her."

John chuckled and punched her in the arm lightly. "Annoy her some for me too." He winked at her.

Rogue dashed away as quickly as she could without looking conspicuous and rushed over to Remy's side as he reached up into a cupboard. "This isn't working!" She hissed at him softly, noting that John was watching them.

"Pinch m' butt." Remy instructed her.

Rogue blanched. "What?!"

"Johnny's t'inkin' y' about t' do somethin' antagonizin' t' me." Remy explained. "Go 'head, pinch her an' we slip outa his view t' talk, eh?" He stuck out his butt at her slightly.

Rogue glanced back at John for half a moment and he smiled, giving her the thumbs up. Rogue inwardly groaned. _How am Ah always forced into these situations?_ Instead of pinching her as Remy had instructed, Rogue hauled back and hit him forcefully on the tush.

"Oh, Remy, yaah bastard!" Remy turned to her in mock anger and slapped Rogue across the face. "Don't yaah ever touch mah delicious southern goods, yahh hear?! Ah don' dress so risque like this ta be touched by yoou." With that, Remy turned and strutted out of the room, sassily bouncing his butt.

John was laughing. "Nice! She was soo turned on right then, Remy."

Rogue was inwardly cringing at Remy's impersonation of her. _That stupid bastard, making me sound lihke a frikin' bimbo!_ "Ah know." Rogue shook her head. _Gotta focus. Mah 'I's don't come out the way Remy says 'em. Good thing the idiot talks in third person all the time. _"Remy be back, heh?" With that, Rogue rushed off after Remy, not waiting around for John to answer.

Rogue dashed down the hallway and squeaked in surprise when a hand flew out of a closet door and tugged her back, pulling her inside and enclosing them in darkness. "A closet?" Rogue asked him incredulously.

"I'm sure you'll have enough room to work me." A silky voice responded, obviously not her own.

Rogue's jaw dropped. _Kitty?! _She gaped as Kitty moved up closer to her and hugged Rogue's masculine body against her own. Kitty spoke softly into her ear. "I'm sorry for hitting you this morning." She purred. "You know Rogue, though. She doesn't really deserve your attention anyway."

"You're jealous?" Rogue realized and blurted unthinkingly.

"Let's not talk about her." Kitty suddenly forcefully pushed her back against the door to the closet. "I want you to make me scream for it." Rogue shrunk back as Kitty hopped up and circled her legs around Rogue's middle, making uncomfortable contact with Rogue's masculine parts to Kitty's sex. Kitty started grinding herself into Rogue, licking her neck with her tongue before she prepared to bite down. _Oh mah god!_ Rogue thought in horror as Kitty slammed her hips up against Rogue's sternum. _Kill me please?_

Suddenly, the door that Rogue was pressed up against opened outward and Rogue fell back. Her back hit the ground with a thud as Kitty's weight came tumbling on top of her too. Rogue barely registered Remy standing above her before Kitty gasped dramatically and smacked her. "Don't you dare try taking advantage of me again!" Kitty snapped, extracting herself from Rogue.

Remy was looking in-between them with a convincing level of shock. "How dare he!" He finally announced. "Yaah tried t' have sex with Kitty! Yahh bad, naughty boy!"

Kitty melted through the ground before any other questions could arise up and Remy's indignant expression suddenly turned into a wide smile. "Y' havin' some fun, I see. Personally, I didn't know y' went for dat, Roguey, ot'erwise I woulda asked y' t' a threesome wit' de Kitty long ago."

Rogue gave him a very dark glare that scared him, coming from his own demon eyes. "Why didn't ya tell me about Kitty?" Rogue asked harshly, getting to her feet. "That wasn't funny, Remy! If you're not playing fair, Ah'm not going to either!"

Remy went to help her up, but Rogue shoved away from him. "Hey-I didn' know de _fille_ liked me!" Remy protested. Rogue gave him a doubtful glare and he held his hand over his heart. "Honest!

"Hey!" Rogue snapped, swiping his hand away. "Don't touch!"

"Oh—sorry." Remy shook his head at her. "_Chere,_ I really didn' know."

"Well, regardless, this isn't working Remy! We're worlds apart, you an' Ah. Ah can' jus' pretend ta be you."

Remy put his hands on her shoulders. It was odd, 'cause Rogue would have been shorter if he'd done this when they were normal. "Y' have t', _chere._ I know it hard, but we really can' tell anyone what happened, _heh_? Dey t'ink we nuts! Y' can't quit on me, _petit._ Jus' take a deep breath, _heh?_ Y' Rogue!—Well, sort of. Y' can do dis!"

Rogue sighed deeply. She knew he was right. "This is jus' so messed up. Ah don' know ya mannerisms or how ya behave, other than ya a pervert."

Remy pursed his lips. "I t'ink I have an idea."

Rogue knew right from his expression. "Ah'm not gunna lihke this."

"No." Remy conceded. "But hear m' out, Roguey. Why don' y' an' me start dating, _heh_?" She already started to protest, but Remy ran her off. "Listen—it jus' for de duration o' dis predicament, but if we was datin', y' wouldn't have no girls climbin' offa y' from de closet o' nothin'. Not t' mention, no one'll t'ink it's suspicious dat we're spendin' so much time t'gether. It's fool proof."

"Except fohr the fact that people will think we're _dating_." Rogue pointed out. "Which Ah would _never_ do."

"_Chere._" Remy implored. "Everyone t'inks we have a t'ing fo' each other anyway. An' when we done wit' dis, y' can blow everyone's view o' us together fo' good 'cause we'll have already tried."

"No." Rogue remained stubborn. "Ah won't. Forget it, Remy."

Remy shrugged. "Fine, _chere._ It don' matter t' me. I jus' suggest it t' help y' out." Remy glanced up at Rogue speculatively for a second before his face split into a grin. "How was y' shower dis mornin', Roguey?"

Rogue turned bright red. "Yah better not have looked at me, Remy."

"Y' must have looked at me." Remy argued logically. "Especially when y' went t' de bathroom?" Rogue turned around to leave, trying not to think of it. Remy halted her. "Hey, wait _fille!_ I actually wanted t' talk t' y' 'bout Scott's class today."

"What about it?"

"Dere's dat test today, y' remember?" Remy reminded her.

That got Rogue's attention. She froze. "Remy, please tell me ya read the book."

"'M jus' gunna sit next t' y' Roguey, okay?"

_No, no NO! _"Ya gunna cheat offa me?" Rogue spun around, facing him again.

"Well really, it like y' cheatin' offa me." Remy smiled at her pained expression. "Y' want a good grade, don' y'?"

"Why did it have ta be _you_?" Rogue lamented her situation again. "It couldn't have been _anyone_ else?"

Footsteps sounded around the corner before Dazzler, otherwise known as Alison Blair, appeared around the bend. She lifted an eyebrow at Rogue before her eyes went to Remy. She walked straight up to Rogue and leaned over her suggestively and flattened Rogue against the wall. "I need to talk to you, Remy."

Remy cleared his throat loudly behind her. Alison ignored him and pressed Rogue into the wall using her body. "Are you ready?"

"Ugh." Rogue grunted. "Alison—"

Alison tossed a glance back at Remy before looking back at Rogue. "She'll leave." She started nestling up to Rogue again and bit into her shoulder.

Rogue yelped. "Alison!" Alison pulled back and looked up into his eyes. "Look-um." She glanced up at Remy and sighed deeply. "Rogue and Ah are a ding."

Behind Alison, Remy smiled triumphantly and licked his lips. Rogue turned her eyes back on Alison, who was looking severely disappointed and shaking her head. "I'll see you at poker, then." She gave Rogue a seductive look before winking and walking away.

"Jesus Christ." Rogue breathed as she disappeared into the kitchen and out of hearing distance. "Does _every_ slut in this mansion just throw herself on ya?"

"Dey won't anymore." Remy winked at her and held out his hand. "Let's go break de news t' everyone, _heh_?"

Rogue shook her head at him, ignoring his hand. "You are absolutely shameless."

"It's one o' my best qualities." Remy followed her as she began walking away. "'Ey! Rogue! It's gotta be convincin'! I wouldn't run away from y'!"

Rogue made her way back into the kitchen with Remy trailing behind her. She grabbed two pop tarts she found in the cupboard and sat down stiffly, Remy seating himself right next to her. Alison was already at the table with Kitty, Bobby, and John. Bobby glanced up at Remy as he sat down and frowned.

"So…I hear you and Rogue are thing now." Bobby started.

Remy blushed shyly and unerringly convincingly. "Oh, yahh know, a gal can only hold herself back from Remy's ultimate sexiness foh so long 'fore he starts turnin' her on."

"Tell me about it." Alison nodded. "I understand."

Rogue's eyes flared. "'Course, Rogue was quite an undertakin' ta woo. She resisted all my flashy moves an' sexy moves. Sh' called me a fake, overplayin' manwhore." Rogue chuckled softly, incredibly fake. "Heh, I had t' literally kneel on m' knees an' beg fohr her hand b'fore she consented t' let me take 'er out."

Kitty lifted an eyebrow at them. "Is that what you two were arguing about this morning? The way I found Remy straddling Rogue…"

"Ahh asked him ta sit on me like that." Remy spoke up quickly before Rogue could talk. "We we're jus' fightin' y'know, an' Ahh wanted ta apologize an' show him that Ahh still loved him." Remy looked down sheepishly. "Ahh can jus' be so stubborn sometimes, ya'll know how it is when a gal's PMSing…"

Kitty choked on her water while Bobby was staring at Rogue's body in horror, as if she'd grown an extra head. Alison shrugged. "True."

"But!" Rogue protested, angry at how Remy was portraying her. "Ta fight was mah fault too, y'know, Remy jus' comes on too strong sometimes. It's dis damn big ego Ah got, takes over sometimes _heh?_ It must be dose steroids I take, de side effects said somethin' or ot'er 'bout emotional ego-boostin'."

Remy blanched for half a moment before he grinned widely. "Since Remy was such a good boy 'bout da fight, Ahh decided t' give him a little spicy reward. It was the black lace that did it fo' him. He loves it when Ahh get all dirty an' smutty an' start to role play the bad policewoman—"

Rogue elbowed him sharply in the stomach and swung an arm around her body's shoulders, tugging her close to hide Remy's cringe from the blow. "But we're all betta now." Rogue interrupted him. "Roguey likes me again an' Ah like 'er."

"Yeah." Remy agreed, looking at Rogue. "Ahh jus' can't help but ta get all hot in ma panties fo' dis man."

"Well way to go." John smiled happily. "It's about time you two have…consummated the flirtation."

Rogue had to use all her strength of will to bite back a remark. By her side, Remy grabbed up one of her poptarts. "Mind if Ahh take one, Remy?" He started eating it without her answer and nuzzled against her side. "Yaah the perfect boy, sweetie."

Bobby snorted before standing up. "Remy, mind if I have a word with you?"

_Oh boy, here goes the ex-boyfriend defensive talk. This is gunna be a disaster. _"Sure." Rogue agreed with a sigh, standing and pushing Rogue away from her. "Ah'll be right back, Rogue." Remy nodded to her as she walked out of the kitchen with Bobby trailing behind her. She sighed as Bobby shut the kitchen door behind them and turned to face Rogue.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, Remy?"

_This is so weird. Ah'm gunna have ta defend me an' Remy's relationship. That's just awkward... Now, how would Remy respond to Bobby? Ah know he wouldn't go out of his way to make him comfortable with the idea…_ Rogue shrugged. "What?"

Bobby looked enraged. "What?! Remy, how the _hell_ did you convince Rogue to go out with you?"

_Ah've been askin' mahself the same thing. _"De _filles_ like me." Rogue offered sheepishly, not sure what else to say in this position. _How to begin to offer an explanation when Ah'm jus' as appalled as Bobby is?_

Bobby surprised her then. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and drove her into the wall behind her. "She's not your plaything, Bobby! She's Rogue and she's not for you to use like one of your little sluts!"

Rogue frowned down at Bobby indignantly. _Lihke Ah'd let Remy use me? Please. Ah'm smarter than that._ Rogue shoved him off. "My romances are not ya concern, Bobby." _Not anymore. _"Go kiss y' Kitty, _eh?_" Rogue stalked past him back into the kitchen, now in a much dourer mood. "Rogue, let's go."

"'M comin' baby!" Remy called. Rogue didn't even growl at the endearment. Remy frowned as they made their way back outside and started walking to Scott's classroom. "Y' okay, Roguey?"

"Other than bein' a man? Yeah, Ah'm fahne."

"Aww, Roguey, don' be sad." Remy tapped her arm affectionately. "It'll be okay." Rogue was silent. Remy was silent for a moment before he spoke up again. "I had an idea 'bout our situation."

"What?" Rogue asked, her tone lightening. "What was it?"

"Well, I was t'inkin' dat we should tell Jeany 'bout what happened. She a telepath so she know we're not lyin', yeah? An' maybe she can, I dunno, do some kinda switchy?"

"That's actually not a bad idea." Rogue allowed, surprised by the helpful suggestion.

Remy smiled. "Yeah? I t'ought so."

Rogue suddenly gave him a stern look. "But that doesn't excuse ya behavior in the kitchen. Ah'm gunna get ya back fohr that, Remy. Ya supposed ta be behavin' lihke me, not lihke your personal bimbo."

"Aww, Roguey, y' wound me. An' here I t'ought I was bein' convincin'!" Remy paused before his smile widened. "One t'ing I wasn't kiddin' 'bout, Roguey—dose lacy undergarments were sexy!" Rogue jumped for him as Remy chuckled in a very feminine giggle and dodged away. "An' y' birthmark on y' left upper thigh? Roguey, y' got a body t' die for!"

"Remy!" Rogue roared, outraged.

Remy ducked under her arm and ran forward. "Now dat's de _fille_ I know an' love—come on Roguey, Im'ma touch my panties!"

Rogue sprinted after him. "Ah'll kill ya, Cajun!"

Remy bolted, smiling and laughing as he went. Rogue was so easy to tease. And so much fun to aggravate. Remy loved that about her.


	3. Trouble

_**A/N: I'm pretty psyched about this one, I think you're all gunna really like it lol. Anyway, thank you everybody once again for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the update =)**_

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**Remy checked that Scott was looking through his papers before he glanced over Rogue's shoulder at the paper she had conveniently slid towards the edge of her desk.** _D, A, B, C. _Remy memorized, filling in the bubbles on his test accordingly. He glanced back up and peered at Rogue's paper again. _A, A, D, A, B-_ "Rogue?"

Rogue and Remy both jumped and Remy leaned back in his chair, glancing up to Scott. "Professor?"

Rogue was hurriedly, discreetly pulling her paper back into the middle of her desk.

Scott's jaw was tight. "Rogue, I think you should see me after class."

Remy bit Rogue's bottom lip as he returned his eyes to his paper and tried to ignore Rogue's desperate glances. He did his best to guess at the rest of the answers and ignored the guilt that crept up on him as Rogue kept chancing glances his way.

By the time the class ended, Rogue was almost hysteric and sweating. Remy didn't look at her as she left the class and Remy stayed behind, alone with Scott. Scott shut the door behind all the exiting students and turned around. "Rogue." He started, shaking his head in disappointment. "You've always been one of my best students and I know you've studied the material. I saw you peeking over at Remy?" He shook his head. "What's happening, Rogue? I'm willing to sit down and listen." As if to emphasize the point, Scott sat down and gestured for Remy to come closer. "Come here."

Remy made his way up to the front of the classroom with his paper in hand, frowning slightly as he observed Scott rigorously watching his movements—or at least, appearing to watch him. Remy couldn't be sure with those glasses, but Scott's stiff posture and unmoving head seemed to be trained on him. "Ahh jus'…" Remy watched Scott react with great curiosity. He twitched as she began to speak and his forehead creased as her words stopped, his breath short and flighty. _Is Scotty…attracted t' Rogue?_

Remy stretched back experimentally and watched as Scott sat stiffly at attention, watching him as he braced his arms back and heaved up his chest as he sighed throatily. "Ah'm sorry, professor." He apologized sassily, righting himself again. "Ah just-Ah don't know what overcame me."

Remy still couldn't see Scott's eyes, but he was sure Scott was watching his every movement. Scott shook his head lightly. "W-What?"

Remy added on a thick overlaying on Rogue's accent. "Ah jus'—get these feelin's sometimes. These _urges_ ta do things Ah'm not supposed ta." Scott's jaw hung slack just a tiny bit, but Remy caught it like a hawk. "Ahh jus' can't always control mawself."

Remy strutted and fake-tripped over one of the desk legs. He purposely dropped his paper and it fluttered to the floor softly. Remy smiled shyly, coy. "Oops, lemme jus' get that." He bent over in front of Scott and smirked triumphantly as he observed Scott leaning in. With a surprising amount of ease and finesse, Remy snapped back up swiftly and shyly blushed. "Ahh'm jus' so clumsy sometimes."

Scott was nodding now, his jaw opened wider. "C-Clumsy, right."

"Well, professa," Remy started, layering on Rogue's drawl again. "Ah'm awfully sorry 'bout sneakin' a glance at Remy durin' class today. It's jus' that Remy was lookin' so good an' _sexy_, ya know?" Remy fiddled with Rogue's bra, pulling out the lacy strap before tucking it back in and out of sight. "Ah couldn' help but ta look at 'im. He's jus'so hot an' handsome when he's leanin' over lihke that...Ah can't resist lookin' sometimes."

Remy walked the rest of the way to the desk and laid his test down on it. "Ah'm sorry if Ahh was causin' any trouble…"

Scott cleared his throat loudly, a small flush creeping up his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Rogue. I didn't know you and Remy were...so close."

"Since jus' this s'mornin'." Remy pitched in shyly.

Scott cleared his throat again. "Right—I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Well, Remy's probably lookin' foh me." Remy gave Scott a tentative smile. "Ya mind if Ah go now? Ahh'm jus' so lonely without 'im."

Scott swallowed thickly, his mind a blur with images of Rogue strutting up to his desk and dipping to pick up her paper. "No—that's fine."

Remy's smile grew into a smirk as he turned around and sashayed his butt as he made his exit. _Dere definitely are some advantages t' bein' a pretty woman!_

Rogue was waiting for him outside the door, as he had expected. She looked at him with a pained, anxious expression and her face fell at the sight of Remy. "He failed me, didn't he?"

"Y' get an A, Roguey, don' worry."

Rogue's head snapped up again. "What? How?"

"I gave Scott a lap dance."

Rogue's eyes bulged as she gasped, almost speechless. "Ya did what?!"

Remy chuckled. "Jus' kiddin' _fille._" Remy smiled to himself softly. "I tol' Scotty dat I was jus' concerned 'bout y'. Dat we had found a suspicious rash on y' dis mornin' an' I was jus' checkin' up."

Rogue burned crimson, even though it wasn't technically her. "Really? Ya did that fohr me? A rash?" Remy nodded. "Oh, Rems! Thank you!" Rogue breathed a sigh of relief. "Ah could jus' hug ya right now!"

Remy opened up his arms. "Aww, _chere, _y' don' have t' ask." He wrapped his arms around his body and squeezed Rogue. "Jus' like huggin' y'self, _heh_?"

"See, now why can't ya act lihke this all the time?"

"An' ruin m' rep?" Remy pulled away from her. "Come on, _chere_, we got t' go visit Jeany, _heh_?" Remy held out his hand to her again.

Rogue huffed, but took his hand anyway. "Only 'cause ya were nice." She cautioned. Remy smiled at her winningly as they made their way to the elevator to get to the lower floors to find Jean in the medical lab.

They appeared in the lab shortly after and Remy glanced around speculatively. "Jeany? Y' here?"

There was a rustling noise from the second medical room before Jean called out. "Rogue?" Jean's alarmed shout came out short and flighty.

"Jean, can I talk t' y' fo' a second? I have a little problem."

More rustling. Something fell over and clanged to the ground. "Just a minute!" Jean called out breathlessly. Rogue frowned at Remy and Remy shrugged. There was a scuffling noise before Jean let out a short scream, quickly cutting off and gasping loudly, audible even in their room, separated by a closed door.

"Jean?" Rogue asked tentatively, raising her eyebrows at Remy who was wearing a peculiar face too. "Are yah okay in there?"

"I'm fine!" Jean's answer was fast and clipped. "I'm coming!" There was a loud moan, closely following before Jean appeared at the back doorway, leaning against it as she shoved it open and breathing heavily. "Rogue, Remy!" Jean panted. "How nice to see you both!"

There was sweat on her forehead and she was still gasping for air. Remy squinted at Jean then blanched in surprise. "Jeany, are y' wearin' a bra?"

Rogue guffawed at Jean before punching Remy in the stomach with the back of her hand at his audacity. _In mah body! But really, what's Jean doin' in there…_ _Scott was jus' upstairs! He couldn't have beat us down here, could he? _

Jean looked at a loss for words before she crossed her arms over her chest. "We can come back." Rogue hurriedly said.

"No, no." Jean huffed. "Don't be ridiculous, Remy. I was just…exercising." She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "And I just stepped out of the shower."

Remy snorted. "Y' stepped out o' de shower, den y' decided t' exercise?"

Rogue's eyes widened at Remy's forwardness and obviously mocking behavior. She grabbed hold of him at his side and brought his close to her, squeezing him tightly. "'M sorry 'bout him." Rogue apologized. "He's had too much Xanax today—he's been stressing out lately."

Jean frowned and squinted at Rogue. "You mean 'her'."

"No actually, Ah mean him…" Rogue winced. "Jean, we, uh…woke up a little different this morning."

Jean was still frowning as she stepped closer. "What do you mean?"

Remy grinned wolfishly. "Y' cold much, Jeany?"

Jean blushed scarlet as Rogue gaped at Remy incredulously. "Are you _high_?" She whispered to him harshly as Jean grabbed a lab coat from nearby and slipped it on. "Ah'm sorry, Jean." Rogue apologized profusely. "Ah don' know what's wrong with him."

Jean was still deeply flushed. She looked between them both as her brow furrowed further. "Wait a minute, Rogue…?"

"That would be me." Rogue announced. "See, Jean, uh…me an' Remy…we sorta woke up a little funny…"

Jean was frowning. She spoke up finally, sounding serious. "Remy, Rogue," she looked at them as they should be, addressing them how they were not. "I think you might be suffering from some type of disassociation personality disorder. It's when you separate your—"

"It's not a bloody disorder!" Rogue interrupted, seeing what Jean was getting at. "Here—read mah mind, Jean." Rogue stepped forward and nodded at Jean. "Go on, do it."

Jean was wearing a doubtful look. "Remy—"

"Jus' do it!" Rogue ordered. "You'll see, Ah swear!"

"I don't want to support your fantasy, Remy." Jean responded to her softly. "If I find nothing," _which is clearly what she's expecting._ "Will you let me test you for a personality dysfunction disorder?"

"Yes, yes! Jus' scan me already, Jean!"

Jean stepped up in front of Remy's body and put her hands at the sides of Rogue's head. Rogue felt a little tingle as Jean entered her mind.

Jean only stayed in her mind for half a second before her eyes popped open and she reeled back from Rogue in shock. She lost her grip on the counter and fell back on her butt, unnoticing as she kept her gaze locked on them. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed in morbid fascination, glancing from Rogue to Remy and back again. "Rogue?!"

"That's me." Rogue nodded dourly.

"_Holy shit!_" Jean swore with wide eyes. "_Holy shit!"_

Rogue rolled her eyes. "That's what Ah'm sayin'."

Jean couldn't lift her eyes off her. "Rogue?!"

"Can we get past dis point?" Remy asked impatiently. "We need y' help, Jeany."

"We need to get switched back." Rogue took up where Remy dropped out. "We were hoping that you'd be able to do something to help us."

Jean just stared at them.

Rogue sighed deeply before stepping forward and kneeling down to where Jean sat on the floor. "Jean? Hello?" She waved her hand in front of Jean's face. "Anyone home?"

Jean didn't even blink. She had gone completely mute in shock.

"Slap her!" Remy ordered.

"Ah'm not gunna slap her!" Rogue protested. Remy was already on Jean's other side by the time she finished the statement and pulled his hand back. "No!" Rogue shouted, jumping over Jean's frozen form and tackling Remy before he could hit her. "What is _wrong_ with you?! First yah nose inta Jean's bedroom business an' accuse her blatantly, now ya want ta slap her while she's in shock, what's next, you gunna _do_ her as she goes into cardiac arrest?" Rogue struggled to grab hold of Remy's flailing arms. "Hold still, dammit!"

Remy sat up with Rogue in his lap. "Y' heard it too, Roguey. Y' know Jeany was doin' someone in de second medical room."

Rogue blushed on behalf of Jean. "Ya don't know that! She coulda been…Ah don' know, masturbating or somethin'."

Remy laughed. "Yeah, dat's probably it. She was masturbatin' an' makin' herself all horny like dat. Y' right, Rogue, m' bad."

Rogue blushed darker. "Ya still didn't need ta be so blatant about it."

"Y' know who de _homme_ is?" Remy nodded to her. "It's Wolverine."

Rogue blanched. "You don't _know_ that!"

Remy grinned widely. "I caught dem at it last week."

Rogue opened her mouth to protest again when there was a loud scrapping from the other room and suddenly Logan appeared in the doorway. "Jeany, what are you—" his eyes swept the room and suddenly caught on the still shock-frozen Jean and Rogue in Remy's lap as she held Remy's hands and sat on his legs to keep him from getting to Jean. Logan's eyes widened for half a second at the sight of them before narrowing dangerously.

"Oh, shit!" Rogue swore, hurriedly extracting herself from Remy. "It's not what it looks like!" Rogue cried out desperately, pulling away from Remy and rushing to her feet.

Logan's furious eyes were locked on her as he charged. "I'll kill you, Cajun!"

"Shit!" Rogue made a mad dash for the door and slipped outside as Logan hounded after her.

Still on the floor, Remy choked at the sight. "Hey! Don't hurt me!" Logan had already disappeared through the door as Remy hopped up and started chasing them both. "Dat's my body!"

Rogue's heart was pumping furiously as she zipped around the corner and sprinted down the long hallway. Logan was fast on her heels. "Noo! Logan, stop!" Rogue called out desperately, breathless. "Ah wasn't—"

"I'm gunna skin you!" Logan roared furiously. "And make a rug from your flesh!"

"Logaaaaaan!" Rogue cried out in terror, glancing back over her shoulder at the angry wolf on her heels. She made a break for the stairs and started taking them three at a time. To her horror, Logan was still following her and leaping up the stairs like an Olympic runner, taking them five at a time. He caught up with her as she neared the top and reached out a hand, grabbing hold of her ankle and pulling her support out from under her.

Rogue crashed to the ground and slipped down a couple steps, crying out in pain as her chin jounced against each stair. Above her unprotected back, Logan raised his clawed fist. "Say goodbye, Gaiter Bait!"

Before he could actually reign down the killing blow, a forceful weigh jumped onto his back and sent him crashing forward. Rogue squeaked in fright as she clawed her way up a couple of stairs, just barely getting out of the way before Logan crashed down on them. "Run!" Remy ordered her. Rogue braced herself and got back to her feet before sprinting away.

Logan growled fiercely as he unattached Remy from his back and started to get to his feet again. "No!" Remy cried out frantically, jumping back on Logan's shoulders. "Don't hurt 'er—him!"

"I'll kill him!" Logan growled, still feral and dangerous.

"No, Logan!" Remy tightened his legs around Logan's neck. "I won't let you!" He grabbed the railing with his hands and kept a tight grip around Logan's neck with his thighs. Remy shut his eyes as Logan strained against the hold, creating a tug-of-war between the railing and the escaping Logan with Remy as the rope in the middle. Remy could feel his fingers slipping before Logan abruptly stopped and sat back heavily, sighing. Remy opened his eyes and peeped down at Logan. "Heh? Are we done?"

"He's not good for you, Rogue." Logan shook his head. "You can do better than his slick, thiefy ass."

"That's maa choice ta make." Remy sassed him, feeling more secure now that Logan had calmed down some. Logan growled lowly at her response. "You don' see me talkin' 'bout your sleeping partner." Remy goaded, pushing his luck.

Below him, he could feel Logan stiffen. "Sleeping partner?" _Oh…bad choice of words. _Sure enough, that riled Logan up again. "He's sleeping with you?!" Logan howled angrily. He pushed Remy off his shoulders and took off after Rogue again. "I'll kill him!" Logan roared.

Remy slumped against the stair railing. _Hope dat was enough time fo' Roguey t' escape!_

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_

_**Logan's gunna kill me!**_ Rogue knew it was true. If Logan got his hands on her after catching her and Remy in such an incriminating position, he'd tear her to shreds. _An' he wouldn't even know it was me!_ That's why Rogue was still running, even though the persuit had momentarily paused as Remy delayed Logan. She knew he wouldn't stop for long. _Especially knowing Remy. He's gunna say just the worst possible thing._

Rogue was surprised to find herself outside. _Ah should find a teacher._ Rogue reasoned. _Logan wouldn't kill me in front of a teacher, would he? …'kay, so maybe he would, but Ah still think it's best if Ah find a teacher._ Rogue changed her direction slightly as she made up her mind. _Ororo might be in the gardens. She's always there in her free time, isn't she?_

Rogue made her way over to the miniature greenhouse that housed Ororo's plants. Only when she had safely shut the greenhouse door behind her did Rogue allow herself a moment to catch her breath. _It's terrifyin' ta be someone Logan hates!_

"Ororo?" Rogue called out wonderingly.

"I'm back here!" Ororo called back, poking her head up above some potted marigolds. "Oh-Remy! How nice to see you." Ororo stood up and started dusting herself off of dirt.

_Now, what is it that Remy always calls Ororo…something with her nickname. Something perverted too, no doubt…_! "Stormalicious!" Rogue called out experimentally. _Shit, that doesn't sound right at all._

Ororo was shaking her head at Rogue. "Remy, Remy, always the charmer, aren't you?"

_Phew. At least she played that one off fohr me._

"What can I do for you, Remy?" Ororo asked kindly.

Rogue shrugged. "Jus' wanted t' visit, Stormillica." _Damnit, that's not right either. What does he call her?!_

Ororo studied him briefly. "You look pretty out of breath." She observed.

_Um…_ "Yeah, Ah…uh, jus' finished a Danger session."

Ororo gave him a light smile. "With Wolverine?"

_Ironic, huh?_ Rogue nodded. "_Oui._" There was a pause. "What 'bout y'?" Rogue asked.

Ororo smiled softly before nodding to some roses. "Just keeping the roses watered. They take a lot more water than the rest of them all."

Rogue nodded. "Thirsty buggers, huh?"

The door behind Rogue opened up, revealing an outraged Wolverine. Rogue squeaked and jumped behind Ororo. "Logan!" Ororo sounded dangerous. "Don't ruin my flowers!"

"I'm not here for flowers, 'Ro." Logan pointed glared at Remy. "I'm here for the thief."

"I din't do anythin'!" Rogue protested.

"Not in here." Ororo commanded sternly. "Logan, settle down."

"You didn't see him, 'Ro!" Logan protested. "Jus' hand him over!"

Storm's eyes flashed white, dangerous as a milky film covered her pupils and eyecolor. "You will _not_ start a fight, Logan."

Logan growled lowly, but he had too much respect for Ororo to openly disobey her and endanger her flowers. He glowered at Rogue. "This isn't over, Cajun."

Rogue breathed a sigh of relief as Logan turned and left. "Thanks, Stormy."

Ororo's eyes cleared and returned to normal as she gently patted Remy on the shoulder. "You just don't know how to stay out of trouble, Remy."

Rogue grinned in what she felt was a most-Remyish way, much more relaxed now. "Dat's why ya love me, _heh_?"


	4. Moody

**A/N: Hey everybody! I'm sorry for the delay on this. When I started my Math homework, I planned on it taking one hour, not five, thus it cut into my writing time. Don't sue me though! I stayed up late to finish up the chapter and get it out for ya'll =) (like I don't stay up till two every morning anyway ;P) but anyway, this holds a scene that many of you have been requesting from me for a bit now: here she is. I hope you like it. Out of all of 'em so far, this one far exceeds all other chapters in my opinion. Tell me whatcha think of it!**

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"**Roguey 'm dying!"** Remy groaned in pain, clutching his stomach as he hunched over.

Rogue rushed up to his side and put a hand on Remy's shoulder as she squatted slightly to get down to Remy's level. "Remy, what's wrong? What happened? Did ya get hit or fall or somethin'?"

Remy moaned. "I din't do anyt'ing, _chere_! But 'm dyin'!" Remy's eyes bugged out for a moment before he sunk to his knees. "Ughh. Kill me Roguey."

"Well ya musta did somethin'! Are ya sick?" Rogue laid the back of her bare hand against Remy's forehead for a brief half-a-second before quickly pulling away. "Ya don't feel warm. Remy, tell me where it hurts."

Remy's arms were crossed over his stomach as he keeled over in pain and made a strained expression, looking up at Rogue in agony. "M' stomach." He groaned. "It hurts! It's like—like someone's repetitively punchin' me in de tummy an' lit it on fire while someone else is kickin' me in the balls simultaneously."

"Shhh!" Rogue hushed him. "Yah don't have balls anymore."

"Do y' have t' be mean t' me?" Remy complained. "'M in pain, _chere_!"

"Okay, okay, so ya stomach's hurtin'. Anythin' else?"

"I woulda mentioned if there was anyt'ing else!" Remy yelped in frustration. Another tight clenching ripped his attention away though and he was quickly wincing again.

"Well, there's no need ta get all moody 'bout it." Remy suddenly whitened. He gripped Rogue's arm tightly and truly looked embarrassed. Remy's grip on her arm tightened. "What are you—ow! Remy, that hurts!"

"Uh…Rogue."

Rogue frowned, trying to pry his fingers off his arm. "What, Remy?"

"Either I jus' peed myself o'…" He grimaced again and held his arm that wasn't locked on Rogue's around his stomach.

"Huh?" Rogue's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh! Ah mean—oh!" She blushed brightly. "You just—" Rogue suddenly choked back a laugh that managed to escape anyway. As the irony of the situation hit her, Rogue blushed deeper and started laughing again at the whole thing. "Remy-" Rogue choked on her words, trying to contain her laughter. "Remy's PMSing!" She was overtaken by a strong fit of giggles.

Remy scowled. "Dis not funny, _chere._"

Rogue continued to laugh. "Remy—ya gotta see dis from my perspective." She huffed back another fit of laughter as she smiled widely. "Well, we oughta get ya taken care of."

"Gunna help me put in a tampon?" Remy joked.

Rogue colored. "Ya better start behavin' or Ah won't give ya any Midol."

"Y' tryin' t' drug me, _chere_?" Remy threw on Rogue's accent again. "Ya tryin' ta take advantage o' me, Remy LeBeau?"

"Shh!" Rogue hushed him, chuckling. "The last thing we need is for Logan ta overhear ya sayin' something lihke that."

"Now y' know how I feel around da _homme_." Remy told her as Rogue led him to her bedroom to clean him up.

Rogue shook her head. "Well 'm glad he likes me, at least. I never wanna be caught on the wrong side of his claws again."

Remy winced as his stomach clenched again and almost tripped over his own feet. Rogue was quick, though, and grabbed him before he could fall. She braced his arm over her shoulders and supported him as they continued to make their way to Rogue's room. "This feels awful." Remy bemoaned.

"Trah dealin' with it five days outa every month. It's why we get all moody."

Remy flinched away. "I can' even contemplate—ughh."

"Come on, boy." Rogue moved up closer to Remy and let him lean more of his weight onto her. "Just a little further."

Remy sighed dramatically as he rested his head against Rogue's shoulder. "Like a wounded soldier, _heh_?"

Rogue shook her head at him, still smiling. "Ya know ya really deserve this, Rems—especially after ya kicked me in the groin. That wasn't nice."

Remy grinned sheepishly. "Does it count if I apologize fo' dat now?"

"Not a chance." Rogue reached her doorway and turned the knob with one hand before pushing it in. "In we go." She guided Remy inside as he hobbled beside her and leaned his weight on her. Rogue led them to the bathroom. "Here, stand yaself now." Rogue instructed.

Remy righted himself and braced an arm against the counter. Rogue disappeared for a second before reappearing with panties and jeans in her hand. She flushed at the cocksure grin Remy gave her before going into the linen closet; she returned with a tampon and hesitated.

"Havin' second t'oughts, Roguey?" Remy asking, watching her emotions play out over his features. She was obviously not comfortable with the idea of letting Remy do this himself.

Rogue wore a pained expression. "Ah don' know how ta do this with you." She admitted. "Ah obviously don' want ya touchin' around…"

"Y' feel free t' help if y' want." Remy offered, still amused by Rogue's current dilemma.

"Maybe Kitty has some pads…" Rogue looked unconvinced herself of the thought. She disappeared into the other room again and began shuffling through Kitty's drawers. "Aha! Ah love ya, Kit!" Rogue triumphantly pulled out a pink plastic box of pads from the drawer and returned to the bathroom with Remy. She handed over the materials to him. "Ah'm gunna wait outside."

"I don' know what t' do wit' dis, Roguey." Remy protested, stopping her from leaving.

"What's there not to know? You change your panties, you open it up, and slip it right in."

"In m' panties?" Remy questioned.

Rogue sighed. "You're really lihke a big child, ya know?"

"It's not like I ain't got nothin' y' haven't seen before." Remy pointed out smilingly.

Rogue shook her head at him. "Shameless. Now take off ya pants." She directed.

"Oh, how very forward o' y', Roguey. Would y' like me t' get a whip while 'm at it?"

Rogue rolled her eyes at him. "Jus' hurry up Remy—an' don't look at me while ya doin' it, either."

"What do I look like, some kinda pervert?" Remy asked wryly, smiling broadly at the look Rogue gave him. Without further sass, Remy removed her jeans. He started to take off her underwear too and Rogue watched his face to make sure he didn't peek down at her. She took the panties and threw them away in the nearby trash. "Y' jus' gunna throw dose away? Dey're lacy an' very pretty!" Remy protested, appalled as Rogue ripped open the little square and folded out the pad.

Rogue made a face. "They've got blood on them."

"So y' wash dem!" Rogue pulled off the back paper from the sticky side and flattened the pad against the inside middle strip of the underwear before handing it to Remy.

"Jus' pull that on." Remy obeyed obediently before slipping on the new pair of jeans that Rogue had got for him.

"Dere, crisis averted, _heh_?"

"Ah gotta put this back." Rogue indicated the rest of the pink plastic box before disappearing from the bathroom again and rummaging around Kitty's drawer, fixing everything back to normal. "She'll notice if Ah don't fix it back ta how Ah found it." Rogue explained as Remy walked up behind her and sat down on her bed. He bounced up a little bit.

"Comfy."

"So what're we gunna do with Jean?" Rogue asked, finishing up the drawer and shutting it.

"Y' t'inkin' 'bout a three-some too, _chere_?"

Rogue hit him on the arm lightly as she sat down next to him on the bed. "Stop infestin' mah mind with ya dirty thoughts."

"If y' had told me it was contagious, I woulda switched bodies wit' y' a long time ago!"

"Ah'm serious, Remy!" Rogue chided, shaking her head at him. "Jean _swore_! …then she went into shock, you know." Rogue frowned. "Did ya really know 'bout Logan an' Jean before that happened?"

Remy nodded. "As I was tellin' y' 'fore de scary _homme_ attacked, I walked in on dem last week."

"That musta been awkward."

Remy chuckled. "I've never seen Jean resemble a tomato so much before."

"So Ah'm guessin' dat Logan tried ta kill ya?" Rogue deduced.

"Actually, it was Jeany who pushed me out." Remy corrected.

"No way—yeah?"

Remy nodded. "Yeah, she air-lifted me straight outa dere an' slammed me 'gainst de wall outside. Dat's why I was makin' fun o' her today."

Rogue was looking doubtful. "She just violently slammed ya outa there?"

"I had made some remarks…" Remy added.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Of course ya did. It's a miracle you're not failin', Remy."

"It's a miracle y' don' get straight A's." Remy muttered.

"What?"

"Not'ing." Remy looked up at Rogue and smiled sweetly. "Y' know, _chere_, as much as it's fun t' antagonize y', y' nice t' jus' talk t' too."

"Aww, Remy," Rogue fluttered her eyebrows at him sarcastically. "Ya sure know how ta charm a girl."

Remy smiled wryly and adjusted on the bed. "Naw, but really _fille_. 'M glad it's y' dat 'm in dis predicament with."

"Yeah, Ah don' know about that one." Rogue was shaking her head at him, still smiling and chuckled lightly. "Ah think Ah would have preferred ta wake up without a penis."

Remy smiled lightly but didn't say anything.

"'Course, Ah suppose it's better than wakin' up as someone lihke Bobby. Could ya imagine that nightmare? Not only would Ah still be a boy, but Ah'd be one with as many feminine traits as masculine—how confusin' would that be! An' what if it was someone lihke Logan? At least with you, Ah know ya not gunna tell anyone. An' ya've come up with some good ideas ta help us, plus ya talked ta Scott fohr me when he—"

"Roguey." Remy gently interrupted.

Rogue stopped talking abruptly and looked back at him. "What? Sorry, Ah was babbling."

"Roguey, close y' eyes."

"Close mah eyes?" Rogue suddenly looked suspicious. "Remy, Ah told ya already, ya not—"

Remy was still smiling softly as he shushed her. "I jus' wanna see somethin' Roguey."

"See what?" Rogue asked, still suspicious. Remy nodded at her.

Rogue blinked. "Wha—?" As she was frowning and distracted, wondering what Remy meant, Remy made his move. He clamped a hand down on Rogue's shoulder firmly and pulled her closer to him as he lifted his head to her and pressed his lips against hers. Rogue jolted in surprise and shock, but Remy kept a firm grip and didn't let her squirm away.

Remy gripped the back of her head with his other hand and brought her closer to him as Rogue's eyes widened. It took her half a moment to register his actions before she brought up her hands to push back against his shoulders and push him away. Remy clung to her for another few seconds before he released his grip on her and stumbled back, stepping away into the middle of the room. Rogue crab-walked backwards across the bed, away from Remy in shock and anger. "What the _hell_ do ya think ya doin', Remy?!"

"Did y' feel anyt'ing?" Remy asked, disregarding her outrage.

"Remy! You just—ya kissed me! Are ya insane?!"

"Roguey, calm down." Remy tried to settle her.

"No Ah will not calm down!" Rogue protested. "What the hell are ya doin'?! Ya in _mah_ body, Remy! An'—ya-ya kissed me!"

"Roguey!" Remy raised his tone to match hers. "'M tryin' t' see if y' felt anyt'ing!"

"Felt anything?!" Rogue asked incredulously. "It's _mah_ body, Remy! Ya have no right ta go around kissin—"

"I mean y' powers, Roguey!" Remy cut her off. "Did y' feel y' powers activate?"

Rogue opened her mouth to yell at him again when his words hit her and she hesitated. _Did Ah feel anything?_ She worked her jaw speechlessly for a second.

"Y' didn't, did y'?" Remy asked anxiously. "I didn' feel nothin' either!"

It took another thirty seconds for Rogue to find her voice to speak. Even then, she was boggled as to what to say. "Ya kissed me…"

"I kissed y'!" Remy cried out triumphantly. "I kissed y', Rogue! An' nothin' happened!"

Rogue blinked a few times and swallowed thickly. _He touched me! Mah mutation—nothin' happened! _"Ya kissed me!" Rogue cried suddenly. "Oh mah God, Remy!" Rogue jumped forward off the bed and grabbed Remy around the middle in a tight hug. "Ya touched me, Remy!" Rogue shouted loudly, squeezing Remy tightly.

Remy chuckled as Rogue pulled away after a second and laid the back of her hand against his face. She stared at the bare hand in shock as absolutely nothing happened. No dizzying, world-spinning energy rush as Remy would take her very life force, no rush of thoughts or backlash of memories, nothing.

Remy removed his gloves and grabbed Rogue's bare hand in one of his own. Rogue watched him grip her fingers and reveled in the feel of her flesh against another's. Her eyes watered as Remy squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Remy!" Rogue cried out, stunned eyes still locked on their gripping fingers.

"_Chere…_" Remy lifted his other hand to her face and rubbed his thumb under her eyes where several tears had fallen. Rogue brought up her other hand and gently touched his hand. Her eyes traveled to their touching fingers for a moment as her mouth remained parted slightly, still in shock that her body was physically touching another. She started turning her gaze back to Remy before she felt Remy press up close to her again and lift his mouth up to hers, capturing her in a fervent, hungry kiss. Rogue was surprised again at first, but that quickly faded as she relished in the feel of lips against her own.

_Ah'm kissing someone!_ She realized giddily. _Ah'm kissing someone an' they're not bein' hurt!_ She responded to the touch at that thought, gripping at Remy's back, savoring the tender, lush texture of a warm, anxious mouth against her own. She lifted her hand then to run her hands through Remy's soft, long hair, loving the feel of—_wait a minute._ Rogue's eyes popped open mid-kiss as she stiffened. _Ah'm kissing me! _

Remy noticed her stiffening and his eyes shot open too. With their mouths still pressed together, Rogue stared into her own green orbs for half a second before she pulled back in horror. _Oh mah sweet babeh Jesus!_ Rogue panted heavily as her back collided with the wall and she stared at her own body in slack-jawed terror. _Ah was just—Ah was makin' out with mahself! And Ah was likin' it!_

Remy was the first to recover and gain his breath back. "Now, Roguey—"

"Ah kissed ya!" Rogue gaped. "Ah kissed me!"

"Y' looked quite turned on by it too." Remy joked inappropriately.

Rogue gawked low in her throat as she couldn't find words to say. Instead, after wordlessly mouthing for half a minute, she raced past Remy into the bathroom. Remy heard the water turn on in the sink and walked over to the bathroom door to see Rogue furiously brushing her teeth and spitting. Remy chortled. "Aww, _chere_, y' really not a bad catch, I promise."

Rogue stared at him incredulously through the mirror as she scrubbed her teeth like sandpaper. "This _never _leaves this room." Rogue threatened darkly. She hastily spit again and started scrubbing once more.

Remy watched in amusement, shaking his head at her actions. "Y' know Rogue, dat's y' toothbrush y' usin'. 'Fraid y' might have contaminated it with some Rogue-on-Remy action, _heh_?"

To Remy's absolute amusement, Rogue dropped the toothbrush into the sink then and spat out all the toothpaste before washing her mouth thoroughly with a little paper cup of water. She turned to Remy with a despairing look. "Aww, Roguey." Remy walked up to her and made to put his hand on her shoulder.

Rogue squeaked and swiped at it. "Don't touch me!"

Remy held a hand up to his head. "Eee, _chere_, don' scream. 'M gettin' a headache."

"_You're _getting a headache!" Rogue continued, high pitch.

Remy winced. "Roguey—"

"No!" Rogue shouted, protesting. "Ya kissed me! How dare you, Remy!"

"How dare me?!" Remy asked incredulously, stepping forward again as Rogue took a step back. "Y' kissed me back, _chere_! Dis is hardly m' fault!"

"Hardly ya fault?! This is all ya fault! You—ya tricked me! Got me all excited so Ah'd jump all over ya!"

"Which y' did." Remy pointed out logically.

Rogue huffed at him. "You! Ya took advantage of me, Remy LeBeau! Ah was in an emotionally-shocked state when ya threw yaself at me! Ah didn't know what Ah was doin'!"

"Whatever helps y' sleep."

Rogue's eyes narrowed in outrage. Instead of stepping back again, where Remy was progressively leading her into a corner, she stepped up boldly and sucker-punched Remy in the stomach. Remy's eyes bulged as he keeled over and dropped to his knees. "M' stomach!" He moaned.

Rogue marched past him. Remy called back to her through his groans. "'M gunna need anot'er pad, Roguey!"

Rogue went up to Kitty's dresser and ripped it open. She took out the pads and the Midol bottle stuffed next to it. "See these pads? See this Midol? Gone!" Rogue went over to the window where it was violently raining outside.

"No!" Remy gasped, stumbling to his feet, clutching his stomach and running for her. "Gimme dat Midol!"

Rogue dropped them. "Ya can find ya own way ta soothe ya pain!"

"Rogue!" Remy cried out in horror, watching the little pink box fall with the bottle of his salvation, quickly getting drenched and useless in the downpour. "Dat was not nice!"

"Deal with it!" Rogue went over to her bed and collapsed upon it, stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest.

"I _need _dose pads!" Remy lamented, watching the little box bounce on the grass two stories below and slosh down into the muck. "'M leakin'!"

"We'll see how far ya get when Ah'm bein' an asshole to you! See how _you_ like it fohr a change!"

Remy hobbled back over to the bathroom. At the door, he turned and gave her a haughty expression. "Fine, _chere!_ I'll jus' use a tampon, den!"

Rogue's eyes bugged. "No!" She shouted, jumping up off the bed and racing to the bathroom as Remy shut and locked the door. She pounded her fist against it. "Ya let me in _raght now_!" Rogue demanded.

"Why? Y' want me t' turn y' on with a kiss again?" Remy shouted back through the wood. "Maybe we can even get y' an erection dis time!"

"Ah will blow apart this door!" Rogue threatened, still pounding against the wood.

"'M takin' off my panties…" Remy taunted. "'M grabbin' dis little tubey-t'ing…"

"No!" Rogue shouted again, gripping the doorknob tightly. She was so wound up, the doorknob lit up immediately with a bright magenta glow as she kinetically charged it. She quickly let go. "Don' ya dare touch me, Remy!" Rogue yelled furiously.

The doorknob exploded then and Rogue pushed the door open frantically to reveal Remy in the middle of the room with his pants down, fumbling with a tampon in his hands. Rogue charged in and tackled him to the ground before he could get any further with the procedure. They both hit the ground hard, Remy beneath Rogue. He groaned loudly when she landed on his stomach and desperately tried to push her off. "Rogue!" He breathed heavily, eyes bulging. "Geroff!"

Rogue stayed where she was. "Enough of this! Ah've had about as much of you as Ah cahn take!"

"Rogue!" Remy moaned and haplessly continued his struggles.

"Ya deserve ta be tortured!" Rogue retorted, unmoved. "Ah cahn sit here all day, Remy." She adjusted on top of him just for emphasis.

"'M sorry!" Remy panted. "'M sorry, Rogue!" He was practically sweating.

Rogue's jaw tightened above him. "Fohr?"

Remy's gaze on her was disbelieving, but Rogue didn't move. "_Chere,_ de kissin' wasn't _entirely_ m' fault!"

Rogue frowned. With an exaggerated sigh, she rolled off of Remy, who huffed and brought a hand up to his chest over his racing heartbeat. "'M havin' a hotflash." Remy moaned and turned over on his side, gripping his stomach with one arm and laying his other hand over his sex.

"Hey!" Rogue barked, pushing his hand away. "Enough of that!"

Remy let his rapid heart rate calm slowly before he opted to speak again. "Y' know I will need a tampon now, don' y'?"

Rogue shut her eyes tightly. "Ah didn't really think that one through."

"I need a shower, Roguey."

Rogue resisted the urge to moan. "Not again."

"I actually didn't take one dis mornin'." Remy announced.

"What?" Rogue asked, surprised. "Ya didn't?"

Remy shook his head, still faced away from Rogue. "_Non_, I didn' t'ink y'd want me t'. An' I t'ought, maybe dis would only last a day, _heh_? No reason t' unnecessarily antagonize…"

Rogue opened her eyes, sighing softly as she turned to her side to look at Remy's back. "Ah appreciate that." Remy turned on his other side as he heard her voice closer to him. They ended up face to face, about a foot away from each other as they both lied on the floor. "Ah'm sorry." She apologized.

"For?" Remy joked.

Rogue smiled tentatively. "Maybe overdid it jus' a bit, but ya did deserve it."

Remy grinned through his pain. "'M PMSing. What's y' excuse?" Rogue graced him with a brief smile. Remy grimaced as another spear of pain wrenched at his gut. "Hey, Roguey…"

"Hmmm?"

"Y' dink y' could get dat Midol fo' me?"

Rogue smiled lightly. "Ah think we cahn work somethin' out."


	5. Discoveries

_**A/N: Hey guys! As for this one, personally I wasn't THRILLED with it as much as the others have excited me, but it's not bad. And our perpetrator is revealed in this chapter--some of you I know are gunna find that more amusing than others lol. So although she's not the BEST possible one for the story, it fits and I hope youall like it. And just cause our perpetrator is revealed in this one doesn't mean an end's approaching or anything, so don't worry, I've still got more planned. =) Tell me whatcha'll think!**_

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"**Roguey, I gotta admit. I've pictured y' in de shower with me before, but I never quite imagined it like dis before." **Remy stood under the hot pouring water and reached blindly for the bottle of shampoo.

"Ah'll get it. Just stay still." Rogue ordered. Remy let his hand drop back down to his side and turned his head to the sound of Rogue's voice.

"How am I supposed t' wash my body like dis, _chere_?"

Rogue made a sour face. "Shut up, Remy. Ah'm not removing the blindfold… the bra an' underwear stay too."

Remy sighed dramatically. "An' here I was thinkin' we had started t' be friends."

"Friends don't look at each other naked." Rogue squeezed some shampoo in her hand and slopped it on Remy's head. Some of the excess sloshed onto her shirt and started dripping down onto her boxers, but Rogue ignored it. "Ya cahn rub that in yaself." Rogue directed.

Remy lifted his hands and started scrubbing the shampoo through his long hair. "Y' know Roguey, I can still _feel_ y' body, even if 'm not touchin' or seein' it. 'M physically in it, y' know." Remy arched his back as he rubbed the shampoo into his hair, emphasizing her undergarment-clad assets. "Like dese babies?"

"Stop it, Remy!" Rogue hissed, grabbing his shoulder stiffly and righting him once again. "This is weird enough as it is without you stretchin' with mah body in front of me."

"Last I saw, y' were kissin' y'self _chere._ Dis body mus' be doin' something for y', _heh_?" Rogue growled at him lowly. Remy smiled discreetly. "Aren't y' gunna soap me up, _fille_?"

"Ah'll take away ya Midol stash again if ya don't start behavin'." Rogue threatened.

Remy quieted. "Right, sorry Roguey."

Rogue smiled as she directed Remy back under the stream of water to wash the shampoo out. "Good girl. Now rinse that out." Remy waited under the water and rung out his hair as shampoo descended down his body and to the drain. Rogue grabbed the conditioner and squirted some it into her hand as Remy washed out the shampoo.

"So am I gunna shave y' or what?" Remy questioned. Rogue blanched and Remy grinned, even from under his blindfold. "Flinchin' away, _chere_? What y' t'ink o' when I talk 'bout shavin'?"

Rogue slapped him lightly. "Cut that out. Dirty minded thief."

"Y' were t'inkin' o' it too!" Remy protested, grinning wickedly. "Dat means y' a pervert too, _chere_." Rogue slapped his head down with the conditioner. "So?" Remy probed, starting to run it through his hair himself. "Am I shavin' y' o' what?"

Rogue colored, glad that Remy was blindfolded so he couldn't see. "Ah suppose so…cahn ya do it blindfolded?"

Remy flattened his mouth at her and Rogue imagined him to be giving her a high sign with his eyes. _"Cherie,_ 'm not gunna look. I promise. Scouts' honor." He held up a hand with two fingers.

"Ya were never a Scout." Rogue pointed out.

"Roguey." Remy's voice was patronizing. "It's not like I haven't ever seen a _fille_ in her undergarments before."

"Yeah, but other girls aren't _me._" Remy gave her a look that Rogue could clearly see just from his pursed lips alone. Rogue sighed. "Fahne, finish washin' your hair." She nodded behind him, even though he couldn't see. "The razor's behind ya. Don't cut me, either, Remy."

"'Don't look at me', 'don't cut me', 'don't touch me', 'no peeking'," Remy mocked in good nature, reaching up behind his head to untie the blindfold. "Pretty soon, I'll not even be allowed t' t'ink o' y', Roguey."

Rogue rinsed off her hands under the spigot, ignoring him. "Well, Ah'm gunna go in the room an' see if Kit might have another package of pads…Ah'm trustin' ya Remy." Rogue disappeared out of the room just as Remy got the blindfold off.

Rogue began her search with Kitty's dresser and systematically pushed through everything while trying to find another box of pads. _Damn, that really was stupid ta throw those out the window. How did Ah not think of this? If Remy has ta wear a tampon, Ah'm gunna kill myself._ Once she had searched all of Kitty's drawers fruitlessly, Rogue moved on to the closet next and checked the bottom layer before going to the above panel and even searching through Kitty's shoe shelf. All came out negative.

_Come on!_ Rogue thought desperately, moving towards the nightstand. _Please?_ Nothing. Rogue went back to the bathroom to check every corner of the linen closet. She was just picking her way through the towels when she heard a familiar humming stroll into the room. Rogue glanced at the door frantically. Sure enough, just as she did so, Kitty breezed by the partially opened door and entered the room. _Shit!_

_She can't catch me here! _Distressed beyond all words, Rogue raced for the shower. She slipped inside and closed the glass door behind her. She spun around to see Remy looking up at her curiously from a half-shaven cream covered leg. "Nice o' y' t' join me again, Ro—"

"Shhh!" Rogue silenced him hastily, covering his mouth with an exposed hand. "We've got problems." She whispered, her tone not even above the sound of the water pouring down.

"Rogue?" Kitty asked curiously as the humming stopped for a second. "Rogue is that you? Are you taking a shower?"

Remy's mouth formed an 'o' of surprise.

"Yeah, it's me!" Rogue called out. "Who else would it be?"

Remy cocked his head at her in amusement. "Y' know y' sound like a man, _chere_." He whispered to her.

"Then you talk!" Rogue silently exclaimed back.

Kitty chuckled. "Good point." There was the sound of a drawer opening before Kitty presumably began shuffling around inside. After a slight pause, Kitty spoke again. "Hey, Rogue. Can I barrow a tamp? I guess I didn't get any pads last time…"

Footsteps approached the bathroom door and paused again. "What'd you do to the door?"

"Ahh, uhh, Ahh had a little accident." Remy spoke, doing his best to imitate her accent again.

"A little accident? The door handle is missing!" Kitty pushed open the broken door and walked inside the bathroom.

_Shit!_ Rogue shrunk back to the opposite end of the shower to hide her black shirt and boxers from appearing through the foggy glass. The shower door was made out of that hazy glass block material that made it difficult to see through. Difficult, but not impossible. Remy, catching her desperate gaze, quickly moved in front of her to block her distinct black colored shirt from sight. His red undergarments were a lot less noticeable or conspicuous through the shaded glass.

"Take off y' clothes, _chere._" Remy commanded her silently, glancing over his shoulder at her. "It's too obvious."

"Ah am not gettin' naked next to you!" Rogue whispered back.

"Y' already nearly naked, _fille!_" Remy gestured down towards himself. Rogue quickly slapped his chin back upwards.

"How many times do Ah have ta tell ya not ta look?!" Rogue asked, exasperated.

"Hey, where are they Rogue?" Kitty asked loudly, shuffling through the closet.

"They're on the counter." Rogue whispered to Remy.

Remy gave her a pointed look. "They're on the counter straight across from da shower door." He announced. Rogue pleaded at him with her eyes. "Jus' de shirt, den! Quick!" Remy helped her take off the shirt hastily and threw it into the corner of the shower as he moved backward against her.

Rogue looked like she wanted to die. _This can't be happenin'._ She begged for the hundredth time that day to wake up from this nightmare, but nothing happened.

Kitty closed the pantry door as she put the last of the things she had moved back away again and went to the counter. "Thanks." She called back to Remy in gratitude. "How long are you gunna be in the shower?"

Rogue choked as Remy pressed his back up closer to her. The soap bar on the little rack clattered to the floor. "Why?" Remy asked cautiously.

"I just wanna rinse off after you're done." Kitty explained, going over to the toilet.

"Is she slippin' dat tubey in in here?" Remy asked incredulously. "I swear, y' females are all dikes inside." Rogue gripped his shoulder tightly and nodded her head at the bathroom door. Remy spoke louder once again to Kitty. "Ahh'll jus' be a little bit longer, Kit."

"I appreciate that." Kitty responded. She grunted softly then and Remy glanced over his shoulder at Rogue once more.

"Y' can't even deny dat."

"Remy!" Rogue was sincerely more frantic than the carefree Cajun. "What're we gunna do?"

"What'd you say?" Kitty asked loudly. "Speak louder, Rogue. I can't hear over the water."

"Not'ing." Remy responded quickly. "Jus' babblin' ta ma-self."

"So now you and Remy are a couple, huh?" Kitty asked curiously, completely changing the subject. "How'd that really happen?"

"The real story?" Remy gave Rogue an ironic smile. "He kissed me an' it just—it felt _soo_ good, know what Ahh mean?"

Rogue dug her nails into his shoulder angrily. Being Remy's nails, they weren't very sharp and didn't hurt very much. Outside, Kitty chuckled. "Yeah, I bet. How far have you guys taken the relationship?"

"Oh, Kit. He's a God in bed!" Remy gushed, ignoring Rogue's tightening grip on his shoulder. "On a scale of one to ten, he's a hundred!"

"So you were serious about the role-playing thing this morning?" Kitty asked, sounding surprised. "I thought you were just saying dirty things to turn him on."

"Oh, no, Ahh was serious." Remy chuckled. "Ya know, this one time he brought this cowboy whip to bed and started whipping me on the bed while riding me like a bull—"

Rogue stepped forward to forcefully push Remy and shut him up. As she did so, her foot came down on the fallen bar of soap and Rogue lost her footing from under her. She crashed to the ground and moaned loudly as her head hit the tiles on the floor.

"Rogue, are you okay?!" Remy dropped down to the floor too as he heard Kitty's fast footsteps approaching. Rogue gasped as he landed on top of her. With his back against her flat chest, he mimicked rubbing his head as he sat up slightly in her lap. "Rogue? I'm coming in!"

"No!" Remy and Rogue protested simultaneously. Rogue gaped and covered her mouth immediately afterwards as they waited to see if Kitty had noticed the dual voices. "'M okay." Remy finished lamely.

There was suddenly a snicker from the other side. Rogue held her breath. "Getting excited at the thought of it?" Kitty laughed. "Take your time, Rogue, I understand. Pleasure with patience. I'll just be waiting in the bedroom, 'kay?"

Kitty's footsteps faded as she left the bathroom and went into the adjoining bedroom. Remy was lifting an eyebrow at her mockingly. "Gettin' a little excited, _chere_?" He danced his fingers over his groin. "Takin' a little time t' y'self, _heh_?"

Rogue went scarlet instantly. "Ah have _never_ masturbated—especially not ta the thought of you."

"Kitty an' y' expression tell me differently." Remy teased.

Rogue pushed at him. "Get offa me. Stop bein' such a pervert!"

"Aww, _chere_, it's a natural enough t'ing t' do. Y' don' have t' be ashamed o' y' wet dreams o' me."

"That'll be the day." Rogue braced her elbows against the floor and winced as pain raced through her head. Remy bent down and helped her up. Rogue supported herself on the side bars in the shower. "Go get some clothes on." She told him, looking away from her own body with a blush.

"But I didn't get through shavin' alla m' right leg yet!" Remy protested.

Rogue shooed him out. "No one notices the back side—an' it's not lihke Ah didn't jus' shave yesterday anyway. Now go—get dressed."

"Sure y' want me in clothes?" Remy teased. "I can give y' more visual pictures fo' y' dreams if y' want." Rogue glared at him. Remy started out of the shower with a chuckle before pausing. "_Chere, _aren't y' forgettin' somet'ing?"

"What?" Rogue huffed, resting her head on the shower wall.

Remy gestured down to himself without physically glancing down. "'M PMSing too, remember?"

"Noooo." Rogue lamented. "God, Ah'm in hell!" She stepped outside of the shower with a pained expression, glancing around the bathroom desperately as if an answer would just suddenly appear.

Remy smiled. "No reason t' be theatrical, Roguey." He meandered over to the counter and plucked one up out of the box. "'M sure it's jus' like insertin' a penis, _heh_?"

Rogue looked ill. "Let me do it!"

"Roguey, y' can't be serious." Remy shook his head at her. "I'll be quick with it, _heh_? Trus' me, y' won' feel a t'ing." He winked.

Rogue groaned loudly. _Ah really cannot deal with this._

"AHA!" An obnoxiously exuberant voice exclaimed from behind them. Rogue turned in fear to see Kitty standing just inside the door, wearing a self-satisfied smirk as she looked at both of them. "I _knew _I heard more than one voice in there!"

"Kitty!" Rogue exclaimed in horror.

Remy cocked his head to the side again and quirked an eyebrow at Kitty. It took a few seconds for him to realize that Rogue wouldn't quite react with indifference in this situation. "Eik! Kitty!" Remy covered himself with his arms, despite his undergarments. "What are yahh doing back in here?!"

Kitty was shaking her head at them both. "Really, Rogue, there was no reason to hide this–and sorry about the pleasure comment, I know you don't masturbate. I just wanted to see if I was hearing things or not."

Rogue shot Remy a quick look, as if to say 'see!' Remy forced himself to blush. "Oh, Kit. Ahh was jus' so embarrassed when ya came in. Ahh didn' know if you'd be okay with me an' Remy right here in the room…we've been tryin' all kinds of new things."

"Like getting screwed in the shower?" She grinned, then shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't care. You two do what you want." She gave Rogue a speculative look. "Nice abs, Remy."

Rogue tried to suppress the deep scarlet color that was rising across her cheeks. "Yeah, y'know, mah workouts…'m jus' full of testosterone." Rogue muttered lowly. "Jus' call me the man-makin'-love-machine, 'm so full of myself."

"You know, Rogue, I can't really even say I'm that surprised." Kitty nodded to herself. "Remy and you were bound to get together sometime."

"Why does everyone always say that?" Rogue cried out before snapping her jaw shut. _Remy wouldn't say that._

Kitty looked surprised at her outburst. "Well, you know, you've just been going after her specifically for all this time." Kitty pointed out. "Everyone just thought that Rogue was only playing hard to get, you know…no offense Rogue." Kitty added.

Remy smiled. "Aww, ya'll jus' had me figured out!" Rogue shot him a dark look before Remy dropped his arms and blushed appropriately. "Don't tell anyone 'bout this Kit, Ah'm jus' so sheepish about the whole thing. Ah don' like people ta think Ahh'm horny or nothin'."

Rogue gaped at him like a fish before mouthing 'I'm gunna kill you'.

Kitty grinned again. "Don't worry, Rogue. Your secret's safe with me." Kitty paused. "Well, I'm just gunna leave you two and grab something downstairs for a few minutes…take your time, I'll come up to shower later." With that, Kitty turned around and disappeared.

After Rogue had given it a few seconds, she held her face in her hands and lamented. "The whole school's going to know in three hours, tops. Everyone thinks we're sleepin' together and that Ah'm horny as hell 'cause ya make me out ta be a total bimbo—and _why_ does everyone have this idea that we shoulda got together all along?!"

"Dey know we make a cute couple." Rogue dropped her head back at his words. "_Cherie,_ it okay." He patted her on the shoulder reassuringly.

Rogue shut her eyes for a second before opening them again and standing up and sighing. "Ah'm gunna grab somethin' ta eat too." She winced. "You take care of ya…business an' get dressed. Are ya gunna come play poker with us later?"

Remy gave her an amused smile. "Wouldn't miss it fo' de world, Roguey."

Rogue sighed. "Ah'll see ya downstairs then."

Remy stopped her. "Aren't y' forgettin' somethin', _fille_?"

"What?" Rogue turned and Remy gave a pointed look at her. "Oh!" Rogue realized that she wasn't wearing a shirt and was just dressed in Remy's boxers. She blushed, smiling sheepishly. "Ah forgot."

Remy waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Or y' jus' like de feel o' Remy's bare chest."

Rogue was still colored, but Remy couldn't tell if it was from his last comment or still there from before. "Keep dreamin', Swamp Rat."

Remy smiled deviously as she pulled on the wet shirt and dry jeans before leaving. "We makin' progress, _chere_."

-----

_**Poor Rogue.**_ _She's just a hapless victim who got caught in all of this._ Jean watched Logan pace back and forth across the room with anxious, angry energy.

"I'm gunna kill him!"

_Especially with an angry Wolverine following her. The poor girl. If there's one thing to regret about making Remy pay, it's that Rogue has to suffer too…but at least she finally learned that she can touch Remy. I think that makes up for the tortures she's been going through._ Jean reasoned. _Yes, once she gets her own body back, she's going to be so very excited that she can touch Remy without hurting him……although, that __**does**__ give Remy something he wants too, which is never a good thing._

_The guy really can't be enjoying himself as a woman, though, that much I'm sure of. Knowing Remy, he's dying in that untouchable skin. It's the perfect irony: the boy who can't keep his hands to himself suddenly is locked away in a cage of feminine flesh._

"Logan, calm down." Jean soothed. She was all for Logan gutting Remy when Remy was himself, but Rogue had gone through enough without needing a hunter on her tail for something that wasn't even her fault.

"No!" Logan growled. "He was all over her! Touching and sitting in her lap like her own personal puppy—_and_ he opened his smartass mouth when he walked in on us!" _Good thing Logan didn't hear Remy's comments earlier today._ Jean thought wryly. "He needs to suffer!"

"I'm sure he already is." Jean replied with a knowing smile. "Remy's going through some changes recently, Logan. Don't be too harsh on him." _Not right now, anyway. We wouldn't want you to slice and dice Rogue by mistake!_

"I don't care!" Logan snarled. "The damn Cajun needs to pay!"

_If only you knew…_but no, Logan wasn't allowed to know of her dirty little revenge deed. _He wouldn't want Rogue to be involved with it, but Rogue's part is essential. She's the only one with an uncontrollable touch-based power at the mansion and the only one who's body Remy couldn't escape from._ Jean smiled lightly. "Come here, Logan."

Logan tossed a still-angry glance at her that softened into a pleased smile when he saw her. Jean was sprawled out across the medical table like a beautiful Siren. Jean grinned seductively at him. "Over here, big boy." She lured him to her with those beautiful green eyes of hers, those luscious, soft lips, that fiery hair; all of this drew him like a moth to the flame. Logan had her in his arms before she could even blink.

"My little seductress."

Jean smiled softly as she raised her head to kiss Logan and lifted her arms around his neck. _Such a delicious man! Well, I know he won't be attacking Rogue for a few hours, at least._

Logan growled in contentment.


	6. Little Things

_**A/N: Hey again guys. I seem to notice that most of my fans for this story seem to be girls (how surprising ;P)**_ **_so this chapter is specifically aimed at pointing out to Remy just how much girls go through daily and how unappreciated we are for doin' them! XD okay, no I didn't plan it like that, but the Remy part does show a lot of such things ;) anyway, I hope you'all like and thank you for all reviewing this story so much! You're speeding the process so much and I appreciate every one of you. Thank you! Enjoy!  
_**

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_**Remy an' Ah have ta go back ta Jean an' ask fohr help again.**_ Rogue walked into the kitchen deftly and started for the fridge. Elizabeth Braddock was waiting by the toaster for something to pop. "Hey there, Betsy."

"Hey Rogue." Betsy responded without turning around. Rogue continued for the fridge before Betsy's comment hit her. _She called me Rogue!_

"How've you been?" Betsy asked, dancing her fingers against the countertop as she watched the toaster intently.

"Okay…" Rogue responded shortly, keeping her answers simple. _Ah gotta get outa here before she turns around and sees me! _"Ah'll be right back." Rogue started for the door quickly.

"Oh! Rogue! Logan was lookin—" Betsy straightened and turned around before her words cut off and her eyes bulged. "Whoa!"

Rogue stiffened.

"What the hell happened to you?!" Betsy exclaimed in shock, walking closer and prodding Rogue in the arm, as if she didn't believe it was truly her. She gaped at Rogue as she pressed her hands against Rogue's chest and started moving her hands downward.

"Hey!" Rogue protested and stepped away as Betsy got dangerously close to her foreign member.

Betsy blinked rapidly, still in disbelief. "Rogue—you're a man!" Rogue blushed a bright apple red. "You…you're Remy?"

"Betsy, ya can't tell anyone!" Rogue pled. "Please—we don't want anyone ta know what's happened."

"We?" Betsy gawked at her. "Remy's you?!"

"Shhh!" Rogue shushed her desperately. She grabbed Betsy's arm and pulled her out of the kitchen. Rogue kept her grip firm on Betsy's arm until they entered an empty classroom together and Rogue shut the door behind them. She turned around to Betsy again.

"How?" Betsy gasped, still wide-eyed and incredulous.

"We don't know." Rogue's mind was racing. "Betsy, Ah have to know that ya won't tell anyone. Please! This is really—it's just an awkward situation."

"No kidding." Betsy approached her again and trailed her fingers down Rogue's arm. "This is incredible!"

"An incredible nightmare." Rogue corrected.

Betsy pulled back again for a moment before looking Rogue up and down. She suddenly smiled discreetly and lifted an eyebrow at Rogue. "Did you get _all_ of Remy's parts?"

Rogue cringed. "It's not funny, Betsy!"

Betsy sobered. "Right, right…my God, Rogue! I'm speechless!"

"Funny, it doesn't _sound_ like it."

Betsy laughed shortly. "Oh, _man_ Rogue!" She giggled at her own pun. "You have _no_ idea how this happened?" Rogue shook her head. "How long have you been…you know, male?"

Rogue looked down, sincerely embarrassed. "Since this morning." She muttered softly.

Betsy shook her head in wonder. "This is just—wow, I'm stunned. So _this_ is why you and Remy got together, huh?" Betsy nodded. "That makes sense. I was curious what the story was behind that. Kitty said you said you were into role-playing with Remy, but I thought that was suspicious." Rogue dropped her head into her hands. "You never seemed like the role-playing type to me. The way Kitty was going on, it was like she had caught you both naked on the bathroom floor or something."

Rogue went a deeper shade scarlet. _Ah'm gunna kill Kitty. Ah knew she'd go tell an' make us sound all horny._ Betsy blinked in surprise. "You _were_ naked with him?! Oh, Rogue, you have to tell me everything!"

"Nothing happened!" Rogue objected. "Ah was jus' makin' sure he didn't look at me while he showered!"

Betsy's face gained realization and she smiled widely. "I didn't even think of that! That's hilarious!" Rogue shot Betsy a dark look. Betsy made an effort to sober herself. "Hey—it could be worse, Rogue."

"Yeah? Ah don't see how."

"Well," Betsy looked thoughtful. "You _could_ be PMSing!" She pointed out. Rogue's expression was pained. _This is hell._ Betsy jerked back. "You _are_ PMSing, aren't you? Oh wow, poor Remy."

"Poor Remy?" Rogue asked incredulously. "Why does everyone always sympathize with Remy?! He's been havin' a ball makin' me look like his bimbo! Ah'm the one that's sufferin' here!"

Betsy patted her on the shoulder. "Aww, Rogue. Don't get down."

Rogue laid her head back against the door and closed her eyes. "Ah need ta find a way ta switch us back."

Betsy nodded. "That'd probably be a good idea." Betsy paused. "Rogue, I don't really know you very well or anything, I mean, we haven't really talked all that much or nothing, but…"

"But?" Rogue asked questioning, wonder where Betsy was going with this.

"Do you want me to, uh…scan your mind? I could see what's up with your current situation, maybe see if—"

_Oh duh! Betsy's a telepath! _"Do ya think ya could cure me?!" Rogue asked desperately. "Oh, Betsy! Ah'll do anything!"

Betsy held up her hands. "Whoa, down girl. I just want to see if I can…see anything by doing it."

Rogue deflated somewhat, but she still looked hopeful. "Go ahead—scan me."

Betsy nodded. "You should probably sit down."

"Why, should Ah be feelin' weak-kneed or anythin' while your doin' this?" Rogue asked suspiciously.

"Oh, no, not at all! People just usually are sitting…I suppose it doesn't matter." Betsy stepped up to Rogue again and nodded. "You should feel a tingle as I enter your mind."

Rogue bit down on her bottom lip nervously as Betsy closed her eyes. It took a few seconds, but Rogue eventually felt the little tingle that Betsy warned her of and instinctively put up her shields. "Relax." Betsy commanded. "Just breathe."

Rogue exhaled deeply and tried to calm down as Betsy had directed. All was quiet for about two minutes as Betsy roamed the contours of her mind. Random memories kept popping up in Rogue's head, but she ignored them, figuring that they were byproducts of Betsy's doing. Betsy was silent for a minute more as she searched before she spoke, keeping her eyes closed. The tingle didn't go away and Rogue figured Betsy was still working her so she tried to stay calm and relaxed. "It looks like the work of a telepath." Betsy spoke softly.

"A telepath?" Rogue questioned.

Betsy smiled. "I promise it wasn't me, Rogue."

"I didn't—"

"Shhh." Betsy quieted her. "Stay relaxed, Rogue. I know you weren't serious about thinking of me when I said 'telepath'. Our minds automatically connect familiar things when we hear them."

Rogue swallowed thickly. "Cahn ya tell who did it?"

Betsy shook her head. "I can't trace the signature on the job, I'm sorry Rogue."

Rogue quieted for a moment. "Do ya…do ya think you cahn undo it?"

Betsy bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Rogue. Whoever did this to you, they did a thorough job in making sure to transfer your essence into Remy and take away Remy to put him into you—but some of the mind's knowledge is inherent and stays. I don't think that they got everything when they switched you—or maybe they purposefully left some—but I can't switch you back without knowing every little detail that is you and every detail that is Remy that has been switched. If I tried, I could end up accidentally leaving some of your aspects in Remy's body."

Rogue sighed heavily. "What can Ah do?"

"Well, if you wanna switch back, you're gunna have to find the original telepath who did this to you." Betsy explained. "He or she can put you back together completely, since they'll know how they made the transfer in the first place."

"That shouldn't be that hard." Rogue surmised. "There can't be that many telepaths here at the mansion, right?"

"It could have been someone outside the mansion." Betsy pointed out logically. "Someone who could disappear right from under us and we wouldn't find them, you know? Do you or Remy have any enemies?" Rogue's expression fell drastically and Betsy quickly added. "…but it's probably someone here!"

"Yeah, thanks a lot." Rogue responded sullenly. "Very encouraging."

Betsy patted Rogue on the shoulder again. "It'll be okay, Rogue. These things always work themselves out in the end." She laid her hand against Rogue's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "Wow, he's pretty strong." Betsy commented, trailing her hand down to Rogue's arm and tracing her muscle.

"Hey!" Rogue tore her arm away. "Not you too. Why is _every_ girl in this mansion attracted to Remy?"

"He does have a certain rugged attraction." Betsy pulled up the attraction short at Rogue's face. "Sorry, Rogue. Just commenting."

"At least ya didn't jump on me." Rogue muttered darkly.

"So…" Betsy smiled and tried to hide it. "What've you been doing in Remy's body?" Rogue crossed her arms stubbornly. "Oh, come on Rogue! You can't leave me in the dark!"

"Ah cahn and Ah am." Rogue turned to go.

"I helped you!" Betsy tried. Rogue ignored her and continued her path to the door. "I'll tell someone!" Betsy threatened.

Rogue stopped. "Betsssy." Rogue complained, obviously pained.

Betsy raced beside her. "Just tell me what's been going on! Come on, Rogue! You can confide in me!" Rogue took one look at Betsy and knew the other girl wasn't going to drop it. She groaned. Betsy grinned victoriously. "I want to know _everything_."

-----

**Remy went back to the cupboard and pushed the towels aside to put the tampon box back in place where it had originally been taken from. **As he did so, the towels pushed another object over and it rolled to the floor with a loud _smack_! Remy bent over and picked up the little jar. "Sorry, fella." He started to put it back, but then paused as he saw the label.

"Wax? Like for de legs?" He glanced down at the back of his leg that Rogue hadn't let him shave. "Dis don' take long, do it? Jus' one easy strip, _heh_?"

Nodding to himself, Remy propped up his leg on the counter. He turned it so that it was sideways. _Eh, y' really can't tell, but what de heck, heh? Roguey probably wants a little break t' eat alone anyway._ With that thought in mind, Remy turned over the little jar. _Heat in hot water…_Shrugging, Remy plugged the sink up and filled it with hot, steamy water. _I'll jus' wait fo' dat t' heat an' pick out an outfit, heh? We do got poker tonight, after all. I don' t'ink Roguey would like it if I only wore a few layers fo' dat._

Remy made his way to Rogue's closet and opened it up, staring at his choices speculatively. _Women always got so many choices. How many outfits can one gal have, heh? Ooh, dat's a nice pair o' leather skirt she's got dere, how come I never seen 'er wear dat? Roguey's jus' so self conscious, really sillily so. Mmm, look she's got dis nice bra-like shirt t' go with it too! Dat's sexy! I wonder who bought dis fo'm' chere, she certainly didn' get it herself. _

Remy nodded as he decided. _Yes, dat's de outfit. _He took it out of the closet and set it aside. _Dat's only two pieces t'ough. What else can I wear wit' dat? Gotta put on de layers but still be sexy—oh! Here's a short, stylish little leather jacket dat I can t'row on top an' keep unzipped. Extra layer dere...an' let's see…leather straps? We can t'row dose over de skirt an' jus' add a lil' spice with more layers._ Remy sorted through the belts before picking one out with silver studs that was obviously meant to go with the skirt. _Yes, dat works._

He then proceeded to go through Rogue's glove collection and finally decided upon a jet black pair with little silver decoration over the back of the hand._ I wonder if Kitty has anythin' t' help dis look…_ Remy wandered over to Kitty's side of the room before opening her closet too and searching through it. _A choker! Dat's jus' beautiful. Yes, Roguey, we gunna make y' a sexy, leather wearin' babe tonight!_

Remy continued his search and his eyes lighted up when he looked down at the bottom of Kitty's closet. _Shoes! Mon dieu, Kitty got a lotta shoes huh?_ Remy counted sixty two pairs. _Any nice little go-go boots? _He found a dark pair of cowboy-high black boots that zipped up along the side of the leg and would nearly reach his knees.

_Now fo' undergarments._ Remy went over to Rogue's dresser and pulled it open. Just like the first time he had opened the drawer that morning, Remy was pleasantly surprised. _Guess she feels she has t' make up fo' all de layers with dese skimpy, lacy underthings heh?_ Sifting through the conglomeration of panties and bras, and making a mental note to come back and visit here again later, Remy finally picked out a black bra that was both frilly _and_ lacy and push that would push up against his chest considerably. Matching that was a black pair of panties that made Remy grateful he had been forced to use a tampon.

Happy with all of his choices, Remy put them all on the bed and went to go see if his wax was ready. It was hot and, although Remy imagined he could have left it in a little longer, it was melted enough to serve his purpose. Sliding out the wooden stick and a waxing strip, Remy dipped the stick into the hot wax and brought it over to his leg, which he had braced against the counter at an angle. He started painting it on in a spot and grinned. _Dat feels nice an' warm—like a hot bath! Jus' what do women complain about, heh? Mmm, dis is good stuff! 'M gunna get some fo' myself, it feels so good!_ Once he was done dripping the warm wax over the area, Remy grabbed a waxing strip and gently pressed it down where he had put the wax. He smoothed the edges out and rubbed it down.

_So dis is supposed t' be de part dat hurts heh? Compared t' what 've heard o' dis procedure so far, dat's nothin'. _Remy continued to pat it down for another half a second before he lifted one edge and prepared to yank it off. _Let's see how much o' a man y' really are, eh LeBeau?_

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP. _

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Remy stumbled back with the pull as a very shocking agony raced up his leg and fire devoured his flesh. He was so surprised by how much it hurt, he accidently bit his tongue as his scream ended and another unpleasant pain tore through him. He hit the wall behind him with a _thunk_ and lost his footing, ultimately falling to the ground in a heap. Still, his leg burned. Remy stretched it as close to him as he could and started blowing on the red flesh. _Not t' belittle women's intelligence or steal lines from Mel Gibson here, but he's right! Why would any woman ever do dat more dan once?! Saphira da dragon has jus' burped on m' leg!_

_High heels better not be dis painful! Mon dieu!_ Remy dragged himself with his arms out of the bathroom, casting a resentful glare at the hot wax that was still sitting on the counter. _If I was ice-boy, y'd be toast! _He mentally threatened, dragging himself from the wretched bathroom.

Remy backpedaled from the room until he reached the middle of Rogue's bedroom. Bracing himself on the far edge of her bed, he picked himself up off the floor and shook his injured leg to let the cool air pass over it and soothe the tender flesh. Shaking it off, Remy turned to his new outfit and tried to calm himself down with the thought of how sexy Rogue would look in it. Remy turned away from the mirror in the bedroom in respect to Rogue's privacy as he changed out of his current bra and panties and into his new ones. Remy grinned when he finally did glance down again and found a beautiful chest at the corner of his eye, propped up nicely with the lacey bra.

Remy proceeded to get dressed then. He pulled on the leather skirt first before grabbing the dipping shirt and tying it up behind his back so that it came down just overtop of his bra and boobs, leaving a generous amount of stomach showing. He pulled on the tight leather jacket after that and left the zipper open down the front. Shortly following was the studded belt and the choker. Remy pulled on his silver-designed gloves next and then sat down on the bed and started zipping up the shoes. "Y' don' give me no trouble, y' hear?" Once that was done, Remy experimentally stood. _Well dat's not too bad. Kinda weird tiltin' forward on dese heels, but not bad._

Remy carefully made his way over to the mirror. He didn't quite trip, but his walk was awkward and strained. _Gunna have t' work on dat._ Remy noted to himself as he made his way over to the front of the full length mirror.

He posed in front of the glass and grinned widely. _Now dat is one hot babe!_ Remy turned around and looked over his shoulder, smiling wickedly. _An' what an ass! 'M gettin' turned on jus' lookin', Roguey!_ Remy proceeded to try several expressions in the mirror. He went from devious to shy to promiscuous to dangerous and all the way to downright dirty before he stopped the ridiculous expressions and studied himself seriously.

_I need make up!_ Remy realized. Strutting, Remy made his way back to the bathroom. He studied his expression in the mirror before opening several drawers and pulling out some items. Deftly noticing a hair straighter plugged in, Remy turned that on and let it start to heat as he shuffled through the drawer items. _No wonder girls take so long t' get ready in de mornin'! It's like disarmin' a bomb fo' chrissakes. Dey gotta pick from a bigger selection an' take more care o' demselves in every aspect. An' dey do dis every day?! No wonder dey're so moody when we fail t' notice—dis takes a damn long time! Dis little switchy is doin' wonders fo' my respect of de filles._

Remy pulled out a little stick-looking thing with short little fine brushes on the end. _Right, so dis is either mascara o' eye shadow, right? De ding dat goes on de eyelash…too bad Kitty's not still around, I could use her help with dis._

Tentatively, Remy dipped the little brush into the tiny jar that he had found it with. _Y'd t'ink dey'd give y' a bigger bottle, sheesh. With somet'ing dis little, de make up companies must be makin' a killin'! Dey got what, half an ounce o' makeup in dere? Screw de price o' cigarettes—it de price o' makeup dat robs de checkbook!_

Remy brought up the little brush to his eyes slowly and cautiously. _So I jus' rub dis on m' eyelash?_ Remy uncertainly stroked the brush against his eyelash. As it came down, he accidentally touched the brush against his own eye and flinched back. _Ow! Now m' eye is all watery! Mon dieu! Filles don' just gotta put up wit' how long dis process takes, deir chores are damn painful! De price o' lookin' good is a high one fo' de filles._ Blinking rapidly to clear his eye, Remy tried again. _I wonder how many times dey got t' do dis?_

Remy went over his right eye six times and then repeated the process with his left eyelash. He stabbed himself three times more before finally putting down the mascara. _Okay, what's next?_ Remy picked up the next thing his fingers touched, an eyelash curler, and brought it up to his face before blanching when he saw it. _What de hell is this? It looks like some kind o' torture device from de Saw series._ He turned the eyelash curler over in his fingers and shook his head. _We'll skip y'. Hmm, what else do girls paint deir face with?_

He picked up what looked like a pencil next. _Is dis another t'ing filles put on deir eyes? Eyeliner, maybe?_ Remy brought the pencil up close to his eyes and started tracing around his eye, happy to see that his guess appeared to be right. He followed suit with the other eye before setting the pencil down.

_Isn't deir somethin' called eyeshadow too? Jesus Christ, how many t'ings do filles put on their eyes? I t'ink I can skip de eyeshadow. I got enough stuff on m' eyes._ Remy then brought out all the lipstick and gloss containers that he could find. _What t' choose? What t' choose?_

_Rose, chai, peach, vanilla, bourjois, tulip, velvet, hotpants? What da hell is all dis? Better go with Rose, it de only one I recognize as normal._ Remy applied the lipstick across his bottom lip and puckered his lips together to spread it, as he'd seen girls do sometimes. He analyzed himself in the mirror again then and nodded. _Y', dat's good. Now m' hair._

Remy pulled up the straightener to his long, mostly-already straight hair and held out a handful of it before clamping down at the top and gently tugging it down. By the time he had finished with all his hair, Remy had two burned fingers and a sincere fear of the straightener. Running his poor fingers under the facet, Remy finally pulled away and analyzed himself in the bathroom mirror. _Dat took a lot of effort an' it hurt like de dickens, but I mus' say, y' look hot as hell itself, Remy LeBeau._

Nodding in satisfaction, Remy went to leave the bathroom He had temporarily forgotten he was in high heels and tripped before catching himself in the doorway. _Does de danger never end? These shoes are killin' m' heels, Jesus. De t'ings filles put up wit' t' look sexy, heh? It's more dan a little ridiculous! Next time I see Rogue in 'er own body again, I'ma compliment de hell outa her!_

Remy found his feet again and stood as his eyes caught on something in Kitty's closet. _Oh hell yes!_ Remy scuttled across the room as fast as he could in his heels and grabbed the cowgirl hat that sat atop Kitty's top shelf. _I'm ready. _Remy smiled as he found himself in front of the mirror again, loving the way that the outfit clung to Rogue's body. _Oh yeah, dis gunna be one helluva poker game._


	7. Surprises

**_A/N: Hey again everybody! You've got a little longer chapter to look at today =) Personally, I thought the bottom half of it was the best this time, that's when I got on a roll with it, but hopefully you'll like the whole thing too lol. Once again, thankyou all and I hope you enjoy!_**

**_-----  
_**

"**You **_**kissed **_**him?" **Betsy asked in disbelief, trotting alongside Rogue as Rogue hesitantly told her what had gone down so far that day. "But—he's in your body! Isn't that just like kissing yourself? You were making out with yourself?" Betsy chuckled. "Turned on by your own body much? You sound like Emma Frost."

Rogue slapped her arm lightly. "Ah did not kiss him, _he_ kissed _me!_"

"But you totally responded." Betsy argued. "I can see it in your mind, you're projecting the scene so much. You started kissing him back."

Rogue was flustered. "Ah was just—Ah wasn't thinkin'. Remy jus' had shown me that he could touch me in mah body an' Ah was still stunned bah that and not thinkin' straight." Betsy gave her a dubious look. "Ah wasn't!" Rogue protested.

"You've got a thing for Remy." Betsy stated it as if it were a fact.

"Ah do not!"

Betsy grinned. "You really do, Rogue. You might try lying to yourself and succeed, but I see the way you were responding. You were totally and utterly into it."

"Because Ah haven't been able ta kiss anybody fohr over three years now!" Rogue pointed out. "Mah response was only 'cause'a that. Ah don't even like Remy, Betsy! Let alone have a crush." Betsy gave her high eyebrows and a clearly disbelieving look. "Ah don't!" Rogue insisted. "He's annoyin' and pesters me all day, he constantly is tryin' ta flirt with me, he smokes, drinks, and has loose sex _and _he's so full of himself, he could make Paris Hilton look humble! Ah would never lihke a guy lihke that."

"We don't always choose who we fall for." Betsy replied slyly. "And it's not like he's cocky and doesn't have it. Rogue, the guy's gorgeous."

"Another reason not to lihke him." Rogue pointed out. "Ah hate people who are hot and they _know_ it."

"So you admit that he's hot?" Betsy deduced. Rogue opened her mouth to protest, but Betsy held up a hand "Uh-uh-uh! You said it, Rogue! You think Remy's hot."

"Being hot isn't grounds for dating a person."

"Dating?" Betsy questioned. "Now you're bringing the idea of dating up all by yourself, Rogue, I just said that you liked him. I never said anything about dating him."

Rogue dropped her head into her hands. "Look Betsy, there's nothing between Remy an' me. We're totally opposite."

"Opposites attract." Betsy taunted.

Rogue shook her head, bringing it back up from her hands before pulling up to a stop. "Well, here's his room. Ah'm supposed ta play poker tonight with John an' some others."

Betsy's eyebrows lifted at Rogue incredulously. "You're playing _poker_ with them? God, that's pretty bold, Rogue. And you're arguing with me that you _don't _like his body?" She grinned. "Please, girl."

Rogue frowned at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Betsy paused before her eyes widened. "Oh my God! You totally don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"Rogue—Remy doesn't just play a normal poker game with John and 'others'."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rogue asked again. "Cut to the chase already, Betsy. What're you getting at?"

"Rogue, the 'other' players are all girls—Remy and John play _strip_ poker."

"_WHAT?!"_ Rogue stepped back disbelievingly. "No! Ya kiddin' me, right? Betsy, please tell me that ya kiddin'!" Betsy gave her a sympathetic look. "No!" Rogue shouted again. "Ah can't-Ah'm not playin' _strip_ poker! Not lihke this!"

"As opposed to playing it in your own body?" Betsy mused wryly.

Rogue's eyes widened as the realization suddenly hit her. "Shit!" She exclaimed loudly, smacking herself on the head. "Ah invited Remy ta play with us!"

"Ut oh." Betsy said chuckling. "Bad move."

"That sonofabitch!" Rogue yelled angrily. "He _knew_ and he didn't tell me!"

Betsy chuckled. "In his defense, if I were in his position, I'd have done the same thing."

"What?! Why is everyone against me?! What did Ah ever do ta deserve this?"

"Well really, Rogue, he's a guy." Betsy pointed out. "And you're the one he likes more than anyone else in the mansion."

"He does not!" Rogue protested. "Why does everyone always say that? Remy's only got a thing fohr me because Ah'm inaccessible. He lihkes a challenge. He doesn't have a special interest in me or anythin', he jus' lihkes houndin' fohr somethin' he can't have."

Betsy gave her another doubtful look. "Is that your rationalization for it?"

"There's no _it_, Betsy—that is _it_! End of story."

"You guys are so alike." Betsy sighed.

"Ah'm nothing lihke him." Rogue protested haughtily. Betsy snickered. Rogue crossed her arms over her chest. "Name _one_ thing that we have in common!"

"You're both stubborn as Satan himself."

Rogue made a face. "That's not something in common, that's a trait."

"Okay." Betsy continued. "You both sit out on the rooftop at night and just lay back to look at the sky."

"Stop lookin' through mah mind ta try to find stuff." Rogue retorted stubbornly. "An' Ah didn't even know he did that, so it doesn't count."

"You both dislike Jean and Scott together." Betsy suggested.

Rogue blushed. "Ah don't—" she started, but Betsy cut her off, tapping the side of her head.

"Psychic, Rogue, I know you don't."

"It's not that Ah don't lihke them." Rogue tried to argue her case. "Jean's…nahce and Scott's…very leaderlike."

"But Scott gives you the creeps when you're around him and you inherently took a dislike to Jean because Logan liked her when you had a crush on him." Betsy smiled. "And together, they just seem like the perfect couple with no problems, which annoys you."

"It still doesn't mean anything." Rogue muttered darkly. "An' ya don't _know_ that Remy doesn't lihke Scott or Jean."

Betsy smiled thinly. "I have my ways."

"Stupid telepaths." Rogue grumbled.

"Remy doesn't like telepathic abilities either." Betsy added in cheerfully.

"Ah don' lihke him, Betsy, okay?! Besides, Ah gotta go find him now ta kill him. If you'll excuse me." Rogue began to move away before the door to Remy's bedroom opened suddenly.

"Remy! There you are! We've been waiting for you, nearly everyone's here already." John reached out and grabbed the back of Rogue's shirt before turning her around and bringing her closer to the door.

John quirked an eyebrow at Betsy suggestively. "Is she playing with us?" He asked Rogue.

Rogue opened her mouth before smiling evilly. "Yeah, Betsy. Come in! She was jus' tellin' me how she wanted ta play with us."

Betsy opened her mouth to protest. "Actually—"

"Great!" John clapped a hand on Betsy's shoulder and started leading her in. Rogue grinned cruelly as Betsy gave her a baffled expression. Rogue followed them both into the room and sat down around in the circle that was already situated on the floor. Betsy got seated next to Rogue on her right, but Rogue had an empty spot next to her on the left. She glanced up around the circle.

Alison, Jubilee, and Kitty sat around the circle. "Kitty?" Rogue blurted in surprise.

Kitty blushed coyly. "Alison told me about the game and I thought I'd give it a try."

_That was close. Good thing Kitty's new to it, ya almost blew ya cover there._

_I'll blow your cover._ Betsy retorted sourly. Rogue grinned.

Kitty took this as it was meant for her. "I hope you like to bet." She licked her bottom lip suggestively and her eyes traveled down to Rogue's jeans.

_Ah'm seriously disturbed right now. When did Kitty become such a pervert for Remy?_ Rogue hiked an eyebrow at her and Kitty seemed to again take this the wrong way. She winked. "Who are we waiting for?" Rogue asked curiously. _Besides me, that is. Remy probably told John that he was going to join the game way before Ah even invited him. Gahh, stupid Cajun!_

"Tabitha and Rogue."

Kitty looked alarmed at this. "Rogue's coming?"

John grinned and shot Remy a satisfied look. "Yeah. Rogue's become much more involved and fun since Remy's started playing with her." _Excuse me?! Ah'm plenty fun! Is it mah fault that this is not my idea of fun? Sorry that Ah'm not a pervert lihke the rest of ya!_

Kitty nodded in agreement. "Rogue's been a lot more open and less secretive since Remy and her have announced their relationship. She doesn't spend so much time brooding—I haven't seen her frown once today yet!" _Brooding?!_

_You do brood a lot. _Betsy added her two-bit.

_Ah do not! _

'_Look at me, all sad and touchless. I can't allow myself to be with anyone or all hurt them. I'm in desperate need to get laid.' _Betsy mocked. Rogue glared at her quickly.

_Ah do __**not**__ ever sound lihke that or complain verbally._

_Sometimes things don't need to be spoken to be seen._ Betsy answered mysteriously.

Alison joined in with her own opinion. "And it's not like we don't want to hear about Remy's role playing." She pursed her lips at Rogue seductively. "It's not like Rogue's half bad to picture naked either."_ Holy God! Ah am so __**offended**__ raght now!_ Alison winked at Kitty. "You should know, you room with her."

"Uh…I don't really think about Rogue like that." Kitty said uncomfortably. _Well thank God that the whole world hasn't turned over on me. Ah would have ta kill mahself if Kitty responded to that._

"She seems happier." Jubilee said._ Who the hell said Ah'm not happy? Ah'm very happy! Where are ya'll gettin' these ideas of me from?_

John handed her a red party cup that was only half full. "What's this?" Rogue asked. _Would Remy ask that?_ She mentally belated herself.

"Just Coke." John nodded. "Tabitha's bringing alcohol to mix with it." _Alcohol that Ah won't be drinking…_

_And you wonder where they get these 'unfun' ideas of you from? _Betsy mused, amused.

Rogue started drinking from her half-filled cup of Coke before the door behind her burst open. Rogue turned around to see who had come in—and choked on her Coke as she spit it out to the floor as she coughed. Betsy started slapping her back, grinning amusedly, her eyes transfixed on Rogue's body. Remy was wearing an extremely hot leather getup that Rogue would rather die than be seen in, especially so publically. With long black gloves and calf-high boots, she looked nothing short of the ultimate male fantasy.

As soon as Rogue had cleared the burning tingling from her throat, she raised her head again and stared in horror as Remy stepped into the room. Rogue wasn't aware of the others' actions around her, but a similar shock had temporarily gripped them all before John whistled appreciatively. "That's hot, Rogue."

"Very sexy." Alison agreed.

"Wow…" Jubilee mouthed in awe, obviously jealous.

"You're quite a babe, Rogue!" Betsy exclaimed loudly, patting Rogue on the shoulder.

"Aww, thanks ya'll!" Remy drawled thickly, tipping his cowgirl hat to them. "Howdy, lover!" Remy practically danced forward to her side. He lifted a finger and put it under her jaw, snapping her mouth shut. "_Baby_, yaah jus' make a gal feel so wanted when yaah starin' at me with those lusty eyes!" Remy bent down and planted a quick kiss on her closed lips before pulling away and seating himself next to her.

Rogue stared, shell-shocked. Remy smiled flirtatiously and rubbed up next to Rogue. "'M quite lookin' forward t' winnin' this game, Remy LeBeau! 'M countin' on yaah to take me there!"

Rogue ogled him with wide, incredulous eyes. Remy's words and flirtations floated across her mind and she registered them, but she couldn't work her jaw to respond or her eyes to move. _How dare he!_

Remy kept his smile wide and scooted himself into Rogue's lap, splaying bridal style in her limp arms. "Ahh can sit like this fo' y' ta give a better view!" Remy cupped her chin in his gloved fingers and pulled her face down for another short kiss.

This second one finally got Rogue to wake from her stupor. Aware of the eyes around her that were locked on her and Remy and waiting for the typical Remy reaction, Rogue gripped Remy in her strong, masculine arms. She squeezed him close to her chest, applying more pressure than absolutely necessary as she hugged him close. "Sweetheart—Ah love ya so much, Ah could jus' _kill_ y' right now!"

Remy giggled coyly. "Oh, Remy! Y' are jus' _too_ sweet to me!"

"This is nothin' compared t' what Ah'm gunna do t' y' tonight!" Rogue growled huskily. "If y' know what Ah mean."

"I can't wait!" Remy gushed, sitting up in her lap and tossing her hands around Rogue's neck. He smiled at Rogue earnestly before tossing his head back and gushing to them all. "Remy an' Ahh are a team, jus' so ya'll know!" _A team? What?_

_He's doing that for you._ Betsy explained. _You have double the clothes that way and you won't have to remove all of yours._

_He wouldn't do that._ Rogue thought dourly. _Ah know Remy—he wouldn't do that fohr me. He's plottin' something._

Betsy made an exasperated sigh within her mind. _He's wearing A Lot of layers, you know. He did that for you too._

_He's wearin' a skimpy slut's outfit that he's gunna be whipped in._

Betsy shrugged. _It __**was**__ in your closet, you know._

John nodded. "That's fine. We only need Tabi-" As he spoke, the door jounced open again and a bouncy blonde entered the room carrying multiple grocery bags.

"I've got the goods!" Tabitha called out.

"Yes, you do." John nodded, staring at her ass.

Tabitha blushed and began pulling out bottles and sorting them on the nightstand. "Just deal me in." She told John. "I'll give out everyone drinks." She went around the circle and collected up the half-filled cups that John had poured.

"Okay." John started. "We've got a few new players here," he glanced at Kitty, Jubilee and Rogue before continuing, "so I'm gunna explain the rules again. Bets are the clothes you're wearing. There are no blinds, but you can't sit out for more than four hands in a row without getting spanking machine. If you want to go in on a hand you have to remove the article and put it in the middle of the circle. If you win excess clothing, you may use that instead of your own clothes to bet with. The first two quitters or losers must go through spanking machine with whatever clothing they have left, or none at all. Additionally, the first quitter must run a naked mile around the mansion premises." _Oh shit!_ Rogue realized. _Remy's going to purposefully lose fohr me! Ah don't know that much about poker!_

_If Remy wanted to purposefully lose, why would he team up with you?_ Betsy asked logically. _Clearly you won't let him go in on stupid hands. Face it, Rogue. Remy's being __**nice**__ to you!_

_Impossible!_ Rogue rejected. _Remy's never nice to me an' he wouldn't go out of his way ta make me comfortable while he has such a good opportunity here ta show me off. If he wanted to be nice, he wouldn't have come._

_Maybe he wants to prove it to you. _Betsy suggested. _Maybe he's trying to make sure that you don't have to run around naked in his body either._

From her lap, Remy smiled up at her shyly. "We better win, y' beautiful babe! If we do, Ahh'll save somethin' special for ya afterwards!"

_And why would he verbally say that if he wanted to lose? _Betsy questioned her again.

_He's plotting!_ Rogue insisted. "Dat's fine wit' me, _chere_, Ah want t' keep y' all t' myself anyway." Rogue let out a little gasp as Remy re-situated himself in her lap and brushed against her. "Careful what y' touch dere, _fille_." Rogue warned.

Remy innocently lifted his hands and rested them on his stomach. Tabitha came over then and handed her one of the party cups and gave another one to Remy.

"Let's play!" John hooted, dealing out the cards.

Remy grabbed her class from her hand and gave her his. "Dere's likely more alcohol in yours." He explained, looking over at Tabitha who was mixing the drinks. "Let's let me get drunk, _heh_?"

_Look, he's trying to save you from getting wasted! _Betsy cried out jubilantly.

_No, he's tryin' ta get himself wasted so he's held less accountable fohr what he does._ Rogue reached out and gripped the cup again. "What, y' want t' be a party animal, _chere_? Y' let me handle de thick stuff." She pushed Remy's original cup back into his hands.

"Yahh sure?" Remy flashed her a doubtful look quickly. Rogue answered by chugging back a large portion of the drink. _Take that for 'fun'._ "Alllright." Remy said uncertainly before bringing up the southern swanky charm again. "Ahh jus' thought that maybe y'd want ta take advantage of me tonight, Remy LeBeau!"

"Never." Rogue replied. "It's always by y' conscious choice." Their first two cards came and Remy lifted the edges and glanced at them from his position still on her lap. Guarding them from wandering eyes, he lifted the cards to show her. K10. It went around the table before coming back to them. John, Jubilee, Betsy, and Kitty had all folded. Alison removed her jacket and put it in the middle. Remy glanced up at her.

"It's a good hand." Rogue suppressed a groan. "Y' want ta remove ya shirt first o' should I?"

"Remy's first." Rogue pushed Remy out of her lap and hesitated for only a moment before pulling off her t-shirt to reveal her bare flat chest. Kitty stared at her intently as she dropped the shirt in the middle of the circle. Alison licked her lips and kept trying to catch her eye. Poor little Jubilee was bright red and blushing terribly. Rogue wondered why Jubilee was here and tried not to notice all the girl's reactions to her. _Well this is terribly awkward._ John winked at her. _Ah hope that was a man-to-man wink over Alison._

John flipped over three cards in the middle. 4, Q, and A. Alison checked the first hand and Remy did too. John flipped another card over in the middle, a 10. "I raise you a pair of pants." Alison started removing her jeans. Remy held up a hand to stop her.

"We fold. Dat's y's." Looking satisfied with herself, Alison collected up Rogue's t-shirt and brought it up close to her face, smelling it.

"Mmm, smells like sex."

"You would know." Rogue retorted unthinkingly.

Thankfully, Alison was such a big skank that she took it as a compliment.

Next to her, Remy sided up against her again and leaned his head on her chest. "Y' chest is jus' so strong an' masculine. Mmm, Ahh love da feel of yaah rock solid abs under ma fingers." Remy traced his hand against Rogue's stomach to antagonize her. It was working, too.

"_Oui_." Rogue puffed out her chest. "M' hairless chest is quite manly and hard." Rogue rapped her hand against her chest. "No normal hair growth on this baby!"

"Tell me about it." Kitty was nearly drooling.

Remy laughed—actually laughed—and stroked a hand down her chest. "Oh baby, Ahh love all the sacrifices yaah make for me. Yaah know how Ahh don't like it fuzzy an' ya accommodate for me. Such a sweetheart!"

Betsy let out a burst of laughter. Alison shrugged. "It's true, shaven is better."

Rogue fought to control her expression and not turn crimson at Remy's words and how they made her sound. "Of course," she added. "Ah do like the extra breeze it gives me. Air just feels so much fresher passin' by. Like a little wisp of wind, it's quite comfortable."

"Ahh know _exactly_ what ya talkin' 'bout." Remy was quick to the uptake. "Like a nice little gusty breeze. Though it can get a little drafty up my—"

"Let's play some poker, huh?" Betsy interrupted, taking pity on Rogue for a pleasant change. Kitty was already dealing out the next hands. Remy showed Rogue a 4 and a 9. It went around the circle again and everyone folded. Kitty passed on the dealership to Jubilee next.

Still bright red from simply seeing Remy's body's chest, Jubilee's hand shook lightly as she passed out the next hand. Remy grinned as he showed Rogue the hand: KK. Once again, bets went around the table and Kitty, Jubilee, and Betsy folded. John removed his shirt and put it in the middle while Alison simply added Remy's shirt back to the pot. Remy began taking off his jacket, but Rogue stopped him. "Ah've got it." She was in no mood for everyone to see her pushed-up boobs through the thin, tied back shirt. Rogue took off Remy's jeans and added them to the pile.

The flop came down A, Q, 10. Alison was the first to bet: she put her jacket back onto the pile and glanced up at the others. Rogue huffed quietly as Remy started to take off his jacket and put it in the pile. Rogue pulled Remy up close to her and threw her arms around him, attempting to shrink her body from view as much as possible. John folded his hand.

Alison gave a sly, accomplished look as the next card came down: K. Rogue grimaced as Alison reached up inside her shirt and unhooked her bra, removing it and adding it to the pile. Remy glanced up at Rogue. "A straight is too easy here."

Rogue groaned inwardly. She was sure the hand would have been golden for her and Remy and now they were losing again. Rogue only had boxers left on and Remy had already removed his jacket. Alison collected up her winnings grinningly. _How ironic that the biggest slut here has all the clothes._ She heard Betsy's mental chuckle at her musings.

"Can ya show us what would have been next?" Rogue asked, turning over her three of a kind kings while Alison revealed the straight. John nodded and burned another card before flipping the last one up: it was an ace. Rogue groaned verbally this time. "We woulda had a full house, baby!"

Alison gloated. Rogue chugged the rest of her drink and felt slightly dizzy when she put the empty cup down. _Remy was right, that's going straight through me. Ah'm already dizzy. Do Ah have such little tolerance ta alcohol or was that jus' spiked lihke hell?_

_Remy warned you._ Betsy reminded her. Remy was just finishing off his first glass too.

Just as Alison started to deal out the new hand, the door behind them opened again and everyone jumped slightly. Rogue twisted to glance over her shoulder and blanched at the newcomer. "Professor Summers!" Trying to be discreet as everyone got to their feet at the sight of the teacher, Rogue tried to nudge away the empty red party cups her and Remy had just drained.

Rogue tilted drunkenly as the world blurred slightly before her eyes. She braced herself on Remy and stumbled up next to him. Scott's eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Rogue and she realized then that she had no shirt or jeans on; she slid behind Remy, which turned out to be a mistake as Scott's gaze fell on Remy then. Scott stepped forward into the room. "What's going on here?!" His head turned as he spotted the alcohol on the nightstand. "Drinking is prohibited, not to mention you're all underage!"

"Ah'm not." Rogue volunteered, glancing down at herself. _Remy's of age, isn't he?_

Apparently Scott hadn't been looking for someone to answer him. "All of you, in my office, now!"

Remy suddenly stepped forward and Rogue gasped lightly as his support left her and she nearly fell. She instead found herself clutching John as she struggled to stand. "Sorry." John whispered to her. "Tabitha added GHB to make you drunker faster."

"The date rape drug?" Rogue asked dizzily, her voice hushed.

Before them, Remy was sashaying up to Scott. At least, he was. He hadn't taken two steps before he tripped forward and fell at Scott's feet. "That's mah girl." Rogue said deliriously, oddly satisfied at Remy's fall.

"Rogue!" Scott bent down to help Remy up. "Are you okay?" He asked, gripping Remy under the arms and putting him on his feet again. Remy did a very convincing swaying before he leaned into Scott for support.

"Ah'm sorrah Professor." He apologized, laying it on thickly. "It's like Ahh said before, Ahh jus' get so clumsy sometimes." Remy pressed his hand up against Scott's chest to steady and right himself. He let his hand dangle there. "Ooh, professa. Yaah have such a _strong_ chest."

Rogue blinked, working very hard to stay coherent enough to understand Remy. "What's he doin'?" She asked John, clueless, wondering why Remy was acting like such a bimbo.

"Shhh." John quieted her, watching the scene before him.

Rogue frowned and pouted. "Did ya jus' _shhh_ me?"

"Shhh!" John shushed her again, grabbing her arm and pulling her back further into the room, out of immediate sight of the small entrance hallway. Kitty had already phased out of the room with Jubilee and Betsy was nowhere to be seen, probably cloaking herself telepathically from everyone's mind.

Remy was still up front working his magic. He had Scott stuttering slightly. "R-Rogue. You really shouldn't be in here. T-This is the boy's win—"

"Shhh." Remy silenced him, leaning up against Scott again and resting his head on Scott's shoulder while wrapping his arms around his middle. "Just hold me, Professor."

"Ro-Rogue?"

Remy started swaying with Scott, still grasping him around the middle. "Ssscott." He murmured. "Sssscott. Nice little swing of the tongue, huh? Sssscott!" Remy clutched Scott tighter around the middle and rocked to the side more. "Dance with me, professa!"

"R-Ro-" Scott was shushed as Remy swung with him, still clutched tightly against him. Scott was pulled out of the room by Remy as Remy started swinging circles with him in the hallway.

"Ah always knew he had a thing fohr me!" Rogue muttered darkly, watching Remy twirl with Scott and start to loosen the stoic man up some more. "Look! That's despicable!"

John was shaking his head. "Who'd have thought that Rogue would have it in her to try to seduce a teacher and succeed?"

_Hey! Ah can seduce anyone Ah want, thank ya very much. See, jus' look at me go!_ Rogue glanced down at herself again and noted that she was still Remy. "Rogue—is sexy." She told John. "She—she can seduce anyone! Rogue is very hot."

"Yeah, I know." John agreed. "I bet she's just an animal in bed."

_Ah am not an animal! Ah am a girlll._ Before Rogue could say anything back defensively to him, Alison slid up beside her and leaned her head over her shoulder from behind. "Look at her go. Mmm!" She smacked Rogue on the butt and gripped it in her hands. "That just turns me on. You wanna go for a ride, Remy? Rogue can join us, I don't mind."

"A ride?" Rogue asked, confused. "What kinda ride?"

Alison turned her towards her and thrust her hips at Rogue suggestively before rubbing herself up against the southerner and trailing her hand down to Rogue's parts. "A dirty ride, baby!"

Remy smiled to himself as he allowed Scott to twirl him. The older man was really getting into this and it was clear that a very pretty southerner was his weakness. Scott brought Remy back and held him up against his body tightly. "Rogue." Scott breathed, nearly breathless for some reason. "This look on you? It works."

He took two dramatic steps to the right and held out Remy's right hand far in that direction. "Bum, bum, bum." He hummed as he switched directions with Remy and took him four dramatic steps in the other way before pushing out Remy's left arm. "Bum, bum, bum." He continued.

_Now how t' get the homme t' stop, dat's de problem._

Scott went to twirl him again and Remy took his chance. Instead of letting Scott gather him back in his arms afterwards, he spun away from the husky man and gave him a seductive look. "Ya should come around sometime when Ah don't have company." Remy suggested, licking his lips at Scott. "Ahh'm sure Ah can fahnd some way ta entertain ya." Remy began trailing away, being extra careful not to trip. "Ah'll see ya around, Professa." He winked.

Scott stood gentlemanly. "It's been lovely dancing with you, Rogue." He bowed.

_Is this guy a queer or what?_ Remy thought silently. Outwardly, he gave a mysterious smile that was alluring and dirty, the same expression he had practiced earlier in the mirror. "Ah'll be in the girl's dorm, waitin'." With that, Remy turned and sashayed his ass back to his room.

_That just made my life._ Scott thought happily. _I'll have to take her up on that offer sometime. Jean's cheating on me too, so what the hell? Now, what did I come here to do?_

Remy shut the door behind him and rounded the corner of the entrance hallway before blanching back at the sight. Alison had her legs wrapped around Rogue's middle and was licking her way up Rogue's neck as Rogue wore a bewildered, glazed expression that spoke wonders of her coherency at the moment. "Jus' whattya think ya doin', sista?" Remy asked sassily, stepping forward.

Alison looked up at Rogue and then back at Remy. "Wanna share?" She emphasized it by thrusting with her hips with amazing stability for someone who was clinging on merely by her legs.

"Maybe next time, Ali. Ahh've been lookin' forward ta this night an' Ahh'd like ta spend it alone with ma baby."

John suddenly appeared from behind them. Obviously he'd just been watching and taking in the show as Alison threw herself at Rogue. "Rogue, you were great back there. What you did with Scott? That was awesome!" He came up and hugged Remy tightly. "Great job!"

Remy gave his friend a little squeeze back. "Thanks, sugah. Ah must say, Remy is a _good_ teacher."

The two looked back at Rogue to where Alison had shoved her boobs in Rogue's face and was growling like a cat. "Okay, Ali, dat's enough." Remy went up behind her and extracted Alison from Rogue's waist. "Off to bed with you!" Remy slapped her lightly on the butt. Alison gave him such a fired up, turned on look that he was afraid she might jump on him next. John was quick to jump on the opportunity though.

"I'll walk you back to your room!" He volunteered.

Alison grinned. "Did it just get hot in here or what?" Together, the two walked off and, judging by the noises, Remy didn't think they'd be getting much sleep. He turned to Rogue, who was still looking dazed and oblivious.

"Roguey?" Remy asked softly.

"What happened ta mah rahde?" Rogue asked softly. "Ah thought we were goin' ta Cedar Point."

Remy chuckled light and took her by the hand. "Come on, _chere_, let's get y' settled." Rogue allowed Remy to guide her as Remy steered her away.


	8. Hard Situation

_**A/N: Hey everybody! This one (in my opinion) turned out perfect. I absolutely love it and I really hope you all do too. For a concept I was sketchy about using in the first place, I really can't imagine it having gone better. So, tell me whatcha think and enjoy!**_

_**-----  
**_

**Remy tucked Rogue in securely and smiled at her curious, searching expression.** "Y' okay dere, _chere?_" He asked her gently. Rogue nodded, eyes still wide in wonder. "I'll see y' in da mornin' den, Roguey." He turned to go, but Rogue stopped him.

"No!" She squeaked. "Don't leave me!" Her eyes scanned the room wildly. "The cobras will get me."

Remy smiled softly. "Y' want me t' stay?"

Rogue nodded hastily. "Keep away the cobras." Remy pulled up the chair from Bobby's desk and moved it next to the bed. "No!" Rogue protested again.

Remy paused. "What is it, _chere_?"

"Lay with me." Rogue looked at him with big puppy eyes, a look that was familiar on his face.

Remy frowned. "Lay…"

"With me." Rogue finished. "Please."

"Y' sure dat's what y' want?" Remy asked cautiously. "'Cause, I don't know if y' remember, _fille,_ but y' don't like me."

"Ah'm coherent, Remy." Rogue responded, looking anything but as her eyes roamed the room in wonder.

"Really?" Remy asked in amusement. "Cobras, _chere_?"

Rogue frowned. "Ah'm coherent. They're explainable." She insisted.

Remy grinned, seating himself in the chair he said. "Tell y' what, Roguey, if y' can prove t' me dat y' coherent, I'll lie down with y', _heh_?"

"Mamma always used ta tell me that the cobras jumped out an' bit little girls who stayed up too late. She said they especially lihked the chubby ones."

Remy snorted. "Y' mother called y' chubby?"

Rogue suddenly turned her gaze back to him. "Ya can't tell anyone that Ah was chubby."

Remy held up his hand. "Scouts' honor."

Rogue frowned at him and pouted. "Ah know ya weren't ever a scout, Remy LeBeau. Ah will jump up from this bed an' smack ya silly if ya don't promise lihke a real man."

"But 'm not a man, _chere._ 'M a woman." He gestured down. "See?"

"That's it! Ah'm comin' ta getcha." She braced her elbows against the pillow and struggled to sit up. "Your done for, Mr. LeBeau. Ain't no man gunna live ta tell the world Ah was chubby."

"Whoa, _chere_!" Remy got up and pushed her back down by her shoulders. "Y' jus' rest dere, _fille_."

Rogue tried to stay up, but Remy kept her down. She grabbed his arms that were braced against her chest and pouted at him. "Ah'll getcha Remy, you lemme go raght now an' Ah'll wipe that smirk raght from that handsome face'a yours."

Remy was smirking incredible so. "Handsome face, _chere_? Y' dink 'M handsome, _heh_?"

Rogue pouted at him, blushed shyly, and turned her head away, dropping her hands from his arms. "No Ah don't. Ah didn't say that."

Remy chuckled. "I see dat blush, _chere_."

"Ah'm not blushin'." Rogue insisted. "Ah'm jus' cold." She stuck out her chin at him in an incredible cute sulk. "Ah do not appreciate ya insinuating otherwise, Remy."

Remy grinned. "Insinuating nothing, y' dink 'm cute."

Rogue's flush darkened. "Nooo!"

"I won't tell nobody, _chere_, promise." Remy winked at her. "And I won't tell anybody that y' were chubby neither."

"Ya better not." Rogue threatened. "Ah'll take the house down on ya, Remy!"

Remy smiled softly as he sat back in his chair. "I'll tell y' a secret, Roguey."

Rogue's mouth opened slightly in curiosity and she nodded to Remy encouragingly. "Tell me! Tell me!"

"I t'ink y' cute too, Roguey."

Rogue bit her bottom lip and brought up her hands to cover the bottom of her face in shy embarrassment. "Ya think all girls are cute." Rogue tried to put it off, but it was obvious that she was coyly happy about his comment.

"Not like y', t'ough." Remy reached out and clasped her hand in his own comfortingly. "Y' de most _belle fille _o' dem all, Roguey. Y' hold a special place wit' dis Cajun."

Rogue curled her head away from Remy's hand bashfully. "Ya probably say that ta all the girls."

"_Non, _Rogue, only y'."

Rogue smiled tentatively. "Ah've got a secret too, Remy."

"_Oui_?" Remy asked. "What's dat, _fille_?"

"Ah did have a crush on ya fohr awhile." Rogue admitted, half hiding her face under the blanket shyly.

"Oh yeah?" Remy asked again, more interested now and grinning broadly. "An' when was dis, Roguey?"

"When ya first came here." Rogue told him. "Ya were jus' so attractive an' jus' smilin' an' strikin', nache too. An' when ya took off ya sunglasses fohr the first tahme an' Ah saw ya eyes, they were _gorgeous_, lihke rubies_._ Ah thought y' were beautiful."

Remy tried to keep his grin to a minimum to keep Rogue from getting embarrassed again, but her comments really just warmed him to the core. "What changed y' mind, _fille_?"

"It's no mystery that you're loose, Remy. Ah'm not interested ina relationship that jus' revolves around sex, Ah like ta be able ta trust an' have a foundation with the person Ah'm datin'. Ya were jus' that guy, Rems, the one that gets allah the girls 'cause he's so good-lookin', but there's no depth. An' then ya started ta stalk me." Rogue added. "It's nahce ta be noticed, but ya only lihke me 'cause ya already been with everyone else. Ah'm jus' ya next target."

_For someone who's drugged up, she's making a lot of clear points. _"I don' just like y' 'cause y' a challenge, _chere._" Rogue gave him raised eyebrows and pursed lips, a clear high sign. "I don't." Remy insisted. "Y' more dan dat, Roguey."

"What else do ya lihke about me, then? Name one thing."

"Y' sassy an' sweet, _fille._ Y' always ready t' take me down a peg when y' dink 'm gettin' too cocky an' y' stubborn as a bull, jus' like me. I can't argue dat 'm somewhat of a ladies' man—"

"_Somewhat_?" Rogue lifted her eyebrows further.

Remy gave a small smile. "'Kay, dat's fair. 'M a lot o' a ladies' man, but dat don't mean I jus' feel loose 'bout every woman I chase, Roguey. I really like y'."

"Maybe now ya feel that way, but what 'bout next week? Ya don't stick around one girl, Remy, Ah know ya. You need alotta attention." Rogue pointed out. "Ya only _think_ ya would want ta stay with me, but really, ya would eventually lose interest an' look fohr somethin' else. Ah'm not even wild lihke the type ya lihke, Remy, Ah don' know why ya so intent on goin' after me."

"Y' not like everyone else, Rogue. Y' different."

Rogue exhaled deeply. "If Alison or Tabitha or one of the girls here was waitin' in your bed for you an' willin' ta do any kinky little thing ya wanted, ya can't tell me that ya wouldn't jump on the opportunity, Remy. It's jus' the type of guy ya are."

"I wouldn't if y' were my girlfriend." Remy argued.

Rogue gave him another dubious look. "Realistically? If you were datin' Halle Berry an' some other girl offered, ya wouldn't say no, let alone fohr someone lihke me."

"I don' want t' be datin' Halle Berry." Remy spoke softly. "Jus' y', Rogue."

Rogue lowered her gaze from Remy. "Ah'm sorry." She apologized. "Ah jus' don't believe that, Remy. Ah lihke bein' your friend when you're not drivin' me coocoo, but Ah don't see us gettin' together." Remy let his head drop at her words, very much downtrodden now with his spirits lower than they'd been. Rogue squeezed his hand that Remy had forgotten he'd been holding. He glanced up at her as she spoke again. "Cahn ya stay, now? Ah don' want the cobras ta get me."

"I'll sleep on de floor, 'kay _chere_?" Rogue looked at him with big, round red-on-black eyes. His eyes. The eyes that she liked…his demon eyes. Remy nodded to her. "I make sure de cobras don't leap up an' getcha, _heh_?"

"Okay." Rogue reached over and grabbed a pillow before handing it to him and scooting over to the far left side of the bed. "Ah have two pillows, but only one blanket. It's big enough ta share."

"Y' sure, _chere_?" Remy asked, standing and pushing back the desk chair. Rogue nodded. Remy put down the pillow on the floor as Rogue tossed him half the blanket, which easily reached down to the ground and spilled over him. "Goodnight, Roguey."

"G'night." Rogue mumbled, eyes already closed as she drifted off tiredly. One thought remained floating through her mind as she did so though. _He didn't sleep with me._ She surprised him by speaking again a couple minutes later, mumbling softly. "Fohr the record, Remy, Ah'm still gunna kill ya about the outfit."

Remy smiled softly and didn't respond.

-----

**Rogue's head hurt like Satan himself had kindled a fire within it.** Rogue didn't know why her head was pounding so insistently or why her body ached, but it wasn't those questions that brought her fully awake.

It was the terrible, frightful heaviness she felt at the bottom of her pelvic region.

Rogue's eyes shot open and she was torn from her restful sleep at the sensation of a deep heaviness and rhythmatic pulsing that ran in tune to her heartbeat. In absolute horror, Rogue lifted the covers very slightly and peeked inside. _Oh mah God, oh mah God, oh mah God!_ Rogue dropped the blanket in terror as she lifted her gaze and peered around the room speculatively.

Rogue wasn't on her bed; she was huddled up under a blanket on the floor. That explained why her body ached, at least, but as Rogue took note of her location, she also realized that she wasn't alone on the floor. There was another body right in front of her, one she recognized completely. It was her own.

_Did Ah—did Ah have sex with mah body?! God, please no! _She strained to remember, but her mind was a foggy mess and she could not clearly recall what had happened. Bits and pieces eased through, but Rogue couldn't draw a coherent conclusion from the mess. Rogue's heart started racing and her member continued to throb in tune, catching up to her zipping heart. Rogue almost cried out at the sensation as it sped, but only just stopped herself at the last instant.

The bulge in her boxers was uncomfortably evident and Rogue could feel it hardening even further as her thoughts raced. _Ah've gotta calm down. Ah can't-Ah can't be excited! Jesus Christ, what do Ah do with this? How do Ah make it go away? –Calm, calm Rogue. Breathe. Just breathe. Ahh! Ah can feel it against mah boxers, it's all warm and pulsating and—!-No, calm! Help! What the hell do Ah do ta get rid of this?!_

Heart racing wildly, erection heavy and throbbing, Rogue lifted the blanket and wore a pained expression. _Is it bigger? Did it jus' get bigger?! Fuck, please help me!_ _No, don't think of fuck, Rogue, bad thought. No fuck! No sex! Blank. Blank. Breathe. Ah'm sweating. Ah need help, this isn't working!_

Rogue dropped the blanket again and looked at her familiar body. _It's this or—shit, Ah'm never gunna live this down._ Desperately, Rogue reached out a hand and prodded Remy's shoulder. "Remy!" She whispered urgently, prodding him harder. "Remy, wake up!"

Remy yawned noisily before turning around and blinking rapidly. "_Chere?!"_

"Remy, help me!" Rogue cried out, near tears with frustration at her predicament.

Remy sat up, alert suddenly as he heard the desperation in her voice and saw her anguished expression. "What is it, Rogue?" As he sat up, the blanket spilled down and revealed Rogue's humiliation. Remy's eyes widened in surprise and he blanched back slightly. "Rogue?!"

"Help me!" Rogue pleaded. "Ah can't—how do Ah stop this thing?!" She flinched back and flexed her legs as the throbbing continued, trying to stop it.

"Don't do dat!" Remy cried silently. "Relax!"

"Ah'm tryin'!" Rogue breathed heavily. "It's outa control!"

"Y' need t' calm down, Roguey." Remy told her. "Y' too excited."

"Ah would hardly call this excitement!" Rogue fought to relax herself, looking at Remy with a very pained expression. "Should Ah adjust it down?" Rogue's hand started traveling down, but Remy stopped her.

"No! Don't touch it!" Rogue froze. "Touchin' it might stimulate it an' set it off. Tell me, Rogue, does it ache?"

"Yes!" Rogue gasped. "It feels lihke it's gunna go, Remy! Please don't let me!" Rogue groaned suddenly and her hand twitched, as if she were fighting the urge not to touch it. She gripped the side of the bed tightly with one hand. _Oh, it feels so goo--! BAD! It feels lihke hell warmin' up inside of me an' gettin' ready ta-- _"Remy!" Rogue shouted this time

"Shhh!" Remy quieted her, looking as anxious as Rogue felt. "Close y' eyes, Rogue. Don't look at me an' don't t'ink about it. T'ink about…linoleum an' tin foil an' empty ketchup bottles."

Rogue did as she was told and fought to keep her mind off the pulsating bulge in her pants as she thought about the boring things Remy was telling her to. "It's hot!" She cried, near tears as she fought to stop thinking about it.

"'M about t' scratch y'." Remy told her. "Dis'll give y' some pain t' focus on instead too. Jus' keep concentratin' on y' breathin' an' relaxin' de body." Rogue nodded to show she had heard, not wanting to speak and break her concentration of empty ketchup bottles.

Remy raked his nails across Rogue's arm. She gasped again for a moment at the pain, but quickly refocused and kept her eyes tightly shut. Remy gripped her free hand tightly and squeezed almost painfully as Rogue kept her mind occupied with plain linoleum and tin foil.

She didn't know how long it was taking, but Rogue's heart rate was slowing as she controlled her breathing and she felt the blood pulsing slower. Forcing her thoughts away again, Rogue waited it out as Remy squeezed her hand tightly.

What seemed like forever later, Remy finally spoke. "Y' can open y' eyes now, _chere_."

Hesitantly, squeezing Remy's hand back tightly as she did so, Rogue opened her eyes slowly as her gaze went down to her boxers to confirm what she already felt had gone away. Rogue let out a shuddering gasp of breath. She wiped away some sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand before looking back up at Remy. "Thank you." She finally breathed, releasing his hand and pulling away suddenly, turning her red and warm face away.

Remy nodded silently. Rogue waited for a comment; when none came, she glanced back up at him. Now that the situation had calmed down, Rogue desperately needed to know. "Remy, did we…?" Remy gave her a curious, clueless expression. Rogue swallowed thickly and glanced at the pillow on the floor before back up to Remy. "Did we sleep together?" She finally asked.

Remy shook his head. "_Non_." Rogue breathed out a huge sigh of relief and held up a hand against her chest. _Thank you, Jesus! _"But y' asked me t'." He added.

Rogue stiffened. "Ah asked ya ta sleep with me?"

Remy nodded. "Y' said y' wanted protection against the cobras." Rogue reddened. _Surely he doesn't mean…_ "Y' only settled down 'nuff t' sleep when I said I'd sleep on de floor."

"How'd Ah end up on the floor?" Rogue asked dubiously.

Remy shrugged. "Y' were on de bed when I got up at two. Y' musta rolled off somewhere in-between."

"What were ya doin' up at two?" Rogue asked suddenly, staring at Remy with wide eyes. _That's mah body ya know!_

"Changin' m' tampon." Rogue flushed, expecting a wisecrack. She was again surprised when one didn't come. "So y' don't remember anythin' o' last night?" Remy asked finally.

"Only bits and pieces." Remy looked somewhat depressed by this. Rogue's brow furrowed. "Why?"

Remy shrugged. "No reason. I was jus' wonderin'."

Rogue blinked suddenly as she finally looked past Remy. _What am Ah wearin'?_ "Who dressed ya lihke that?" Rogue asked suspiciously.

Remy glanced down at himself. "Dat would be y', _chere._"

"Ah did that?" Rogue asked, appalled. "Did Ah mention why Ah was goin' for a skanky cowgirl look? Was Ah high?"

Remy smiled at that. "De heels really hurt, y' know."

"Heels?!" Rogue exclaimed, smiling at the thought. "You wore heels, Remy!"

"Dat I did." Remy nodding, grinning winningly. "Did I ever mention jus' how hard it is t' go t'rough y' _filles_ daily chores? De makeup an' hair an' dress an' it all?"

"If ya did, Ah jus' forgot it anyway." Remy chuckled. "So what happened?" Rogue asked curiously. "Why can't Ah remember?"

"Well, de memory is probably Tabitha's doing." Remy explained. "She drugged y'."

"She did _what?!_"

"Gave y' GHB." Remy continued. "T'ought she'd get t' spend some extra time wit' Remy's body, _heh_?"

"But…ya didn't let her?" Rogue asked guessingly, forehead still creased.

Remy nodded. "Good t'ing too, _heh_? Y' don' want t' wake up with an erection with dat _fille,_ trust me."

Rogue snorted, but she was still focusing otherwise. "Well…Ah appreciate ya not lettin' me sleep with her." Rogue confessed sincerely. "Thank you."

"No problem, _chere_. Alison was all over y' too, y' know. Now dat girl was real close t' danger with y'. 'M actually surprised she didn't stimulate y'."

Rogue shuddered. "Ah hate ta even imagine." There was a loud groan suddenly from the other side of the room and Rogue started.

"Dat's Bobby." Remy told her, whispering again now.

Rogue's head flashed from Remy to peering over the bed at Bobby. "We should get outa here. He's bound ta give ya a speech 'bout sleepin' with me if he sees ya."

Remy nodded as he stood and helped Rogue to her feet. "Careful!" Rogue warned, stepping back from him quickly. Remy gave her a curious eyebrow. "Ah don't want ta get aroused bah you again." Rogue finished blushingly.

Remy smiled as they made their way out the door. "Aroused by me?" He asked in amusement. "_Again_ you say?"

"Well it's probably ya fault that it happened at all!" Rogue tried to hide her embarrassment unsuccessfully. "You're body was lihkely turned on bah wakin' up next ta me."

Remy gave her a quirky grin. "Likely, but not absolutely."

"Please! Ah'm not turned on bah you!"

"Oh yeah?" Remy pushed. "'Cause last night, y' were totally int' me."

"Ah was not!" Rogue protested. "Ah'm sure Ah wasn't!"

"_An' when ya took off ya sunglasses fohr the first tahme an' Ah saw ya eyes, they were gorgeous, lihke rubies. Ah thought y' were beautiful._" Remy repeated her from last night. "Dat's exactly what y' said."

_Ah've never told anybody that Ah thought Remy's eyes looked lihke rubies. Did Ah really say those things?! _Rogue blushed crimson.

"Sound familiar, _chere_?" Remy asked happily, gloating.

"Ah was drugged!" Rogue argued.

"Exactly: y' would say t'ings t' me dat were on y' mind dat y' originally wouldn't. Hence, y' t'ink 'm _beautiful_." Remy pointed out.

"Yeah, well—that was before Ah got ta know ya!"

"Aww, _chere_, y' break Remy's heart, _oui._ Remy's here helpin' y' t'rough y' difficult situations an' I resist all de urges t' make jokes 'bout it an' y' still strikin' me down. 'M gunna start makin' jokes 'bout y' bein' hard fo' me if y' don' be nice."

Rogue colored again while looking simultaneously apologetic. "Okay, Ah'm sorry. Ya helped me out an' ya weren't an asshole 'bout it. Thank you, Remy, Ah did appreciate that an' it was nahce of you."

Remy smiled happily. "See, 'm not as bad as y' make me out t' be, _chere_."

"Ah suppose ya could be worse."

"Dat's better." Remy stopped before Rogue's room. "Now, if y' excuse me, I have t' go change m' tampon so nothin' gets dusty in m' womanhood. Wouldn't wanna be rusty when it's time t' getcha hard again!" He dodged out of the way as Rogue swung for him and ducked, chuckling, into the bedroom.


	9. Unexpected

**A/N: Hello again everybody! How you all doing? Here's the next installment of our continuing adventure! Hope ya like!**

**-----  
**

"**Scott came in durin' the poker game?**" Rogue asked incredulously. "He musta saw the alcohol. How did we get outa trouble fohr it?"

Remy shrugged. "Oh, y' know, dere were a lotta pretty girls dere t' distract him."

Rogue's eyes widened. "Oh mah God, lihke Alison or Tabitha started hittin' on him? An' he was distracted enough that everyone got away?"

"Somet'ing like dat."

"What a pervert!" Rogue exclaimed. "Ah'm appalled!"

"If only y' remembered seein' it." Remy responded with a wry grin. "It was very disturbin'."

"Ah bet." Rogue shook her head. "Ah have a disturbin' mental picture now ta go with it."

"Dat's pretty much how I felt." Remy agreed. "Anyway, _chere_, I was dinkin' dat—" Remy cut himself off as Rogue yelped in surprise and fear. A hand had reached out of a classroom door and effortlessly snatched her off her feet, dragging her into the room too. Remy barely had enough time to turn and see Logan's infuriated expression before the door slammed behind them, cutting him off. Remy tried the handle and saw that it was locked. "Shit!" _Who knows what de homme's doin' t' her in dere?!_ His alarming response was a scream.

-----

**Rogue was yanked into the empty classroom and thrown up against the wall as Logan slammed and locked the door behind him.** Disoriented from her thrashing, Rogue didn't gain her wits in time before Logan was pinning her against the wall with one arm and fixing his free hand around her throat. "You think you're gunna sleep with Rogue and get away with it, Cajun?! You think she's just like your other sluts?! Think again, you rat!"

"Logan!" Rogue gasped desperately, fighting for breath. "Ya don't understand!"

"Oh, I understand alright, _punk_. This is going to mark the day of your last sexual encounter with any girl." He took his hand away from her throat and flexed his fist. His claws came out with a menacing _snick_ and he began lowering the clawed fist to Rogue's sensitive member. Rogue's eyes widened and she screamed girlishly. He smiled cruelly. "I'm going to enjoy being the one who makes you impotent."

"No!" Rogue cried out in extreme alarm, struggling in Logan's grasp. "No, Logan! Don't do this!"

Logan's expression curled. "I'll tear ya to pieces for messing with her, bub." He pulled back his hand, ready to castrate her.

"NO!" Rogue shouted frantically. She reached out her hand and grabbed the top of his jeans. They started to glow magenta. Logan jumped in surprise, but Rogue kept her grip on him tightly, aware of what would happen if she let go. "If Ah'm castrated, so are you." Logan kept his claws out and watched her with narrowed eyes, but he didn't move. She breathed heavily, lightly sweating as she maintained the explosion. "Listen ta me, Logan. Ah'm not who ya think Ah am. It's me—Ah'm Rogue."

Logan growled at her lowly. "What the hell are you playing at, Cajun?"

"It's true." Rogue felt the sweat rolling down her face as she fought to hold the kinetic charge. "The first tahme we met, Ah was in the back of your pickup truck an' ya threw me out before drivin' away an' stoppin' ta let me catch up. Ah told ya mah real name then, Marie, an' we argued about your seatbelt before Sabertooth attacked. Come on, Logan, Ah know ya cahn hear it in mah voice. It's me."

Logan blanched and stepped back. Rogue's eyes widened as he pulled away and she went with him, desperately still clinging to Logan's jeans. "Don't move, Logan!" She called out, strained. Logan stopped and swallowed thickly, looking down at Rogue's hand and then back up to her.

"Rogue?"

"It's me!" A droplet of sweat rolled down into Rogue's eye and made her blink rapidly. "Logan, Ah can't hold this for much longer!"

Logan just stared, openmouthed and numb.

"Logan!" Rogue yelled at him and snapped her fingers in front of his face. When that didn't work, she slapped him lightly. Logan animated after that.

"Absorb it back in!" He ordered her. "Take the charge back!"

"Ah don't know how!" Rogue screamed in frustration. "Ah can't sustain this much longer!" She glanced around the room, panicking. "Logan, take off ya pants!"

"_What_?"

"Goddamnit Logan, Ah can't hold this! If ya want ta keep ya parts in tack, do it already!" Eyeing her warily, Logan slowly moved to remove the kinetically charged jeans. Rogue was quickly becoming exhausted. "Faster!" She cried.

Logan redoubled his efforts and flung off his belt before unzipping his jeans. Rogue followed them to the floor and winced, looking away as she went before Logan kicked off his shoes and let her pull them off the rest of the way. Before Rogue could fling the deadly pants away herself, Logan grabbed the bomb and flung it behind him, instinctively then grabbing Rogue in a tight hug to protect her as the explosion rocked the room and pitched them both back.

Logan landed on top of Rogue heavily and she grunted in pain as three hundred pounds of adamantium skeleton and muscular man tumbled atop of her. Rogue was exhausted beyond all belief, she couldn't even lift an arm to try to roll Logan off of her. Logan himself was wincing as glass un-imbedded itself from his back and the burn wounds healed.

"Logan!" Rogue gasped under his weight.

In front of them both, the door suddenly popped open and Remy appeared in the doorway. He lifted an eyebrow at the sight of Logan in his boxers on top of Rogue. "Y' know, _chere_, dat agreement we had? It goes two ways too. Y' not allowed t' have spunky sex wit' muscular men either."

"Logan." Rogue huffed again. "You're crushin' me!"

Logan finally rolled off of her and sat up in a sitting position, looking between the two of them. "What the fuck is going on here?" He gazed down at Rogue with bafflement. "You—"

Rogue winced, still breathing heavily on the ground and unable to find the strength to lift her heavy limbs. "Ah'm sayin' the same thing, Logan."

Logan was still staring at her incredulously. "How long?"

"Since yesterday mornin'." Remy answered him, kneeling down at Rogue's side. "Y' okay, _chere_?"

"Ah jus' gotta catch mah breath."

"Speakin' o' which," Remy glanced up at Logan. "Y' stay away from dis body, _homme_. Dis body is only fo' _filles_, not gents."

"You were _aroused_ this morning!" Logan accused out of the blue. "You came out of the same bedroom!" Rogue wore a pained expression. _How did he know about that?_ Her face only seemed to serve out her guilt to Logan. "You had sex with him, Rogue!" Logan accused, looking sickly disgusted and appalled while managing to keep his anger all at the same time.

"No Ah didn't!" Rogue protested, watching Logan's emotions play out across his face. "Logan—eww, that's disgusting! How could ya think Ah would have sex with mah own body?!"

"Y' thought it fo' a little while." Remy reminded her.

"First I find you two literally humped up together on each other's laps, then I smell your erection and hear the groans from your room in the morning, just what the hell am I supposed to think? Can you even explain yourself, Rogue?" He looked at both of them after saying her name, still clearly not accustomed or accepting of the fact that Rogue was stuck in Remy's body.

"Ah…" Rogue was at a loss for words. "Ah was drugged last night?" She offered meekly.

"Drugged?!" Logan raged.

"Not bah Remy!" Rogue quickly clarified before Logan went to kill him too. "It was Tabitha. She was…uh, well she was lookin' fohr sex Ah suppose."

"So you slept with Remy instead?" Logan growled. "I'd _rather_ you sleep with Tabitha! You probably gave yourself some untreatable disease—like herpes or somethin'!"

"I don' have herpes!" Remy protested defensively. "Not t' mention, herpes is one o' de treatable ones, _homme_."

"And Ah didn't sleep with him!" Rogue reiterated. Remy gave her a sly smile and Rogue cringed.

Logan still looked outraged and disbelieving. "Your erection?" He crossed his arms. "I smelled how aroused you were, that wasn't just a morning mistake."

Rogue gagged on her words at Logan's claim and Remy grinned salaciously. "Yeah, Rogue, what was dat about? Y' havin' fun playin' with Remy's toys?"

Rogue's jaw dropped at him. Worse yet, when she glanced over at Logan, she saw that he had the same question in his eyes. "Ah was not masturbatin' ta see Remy's rod!"

"No, you were masturbating to experiment and touch with it." Logan was glowering at Remy. "This is your fault, Cajun! She can't touch in her own body so you-you switched bodies with her to tempt her curiosity!"

"Ya actually _believe_ him?! Logan, Ah'm not a desperate prostitute!"

"Never said you were a prostitute." Logan said gruffly. "Just that you were curious."

Rogue was appalled and disbelieving. "Ah'm not so desperate that Ah have ta play around with other people's toys ta get mah kicks!" She braced her arms against the ground and sat up, grabbing Remy's wrist and glaring at him. "Tell him the truth, Remy! Ah wasn't masturbating!"

"She wasn't masturbatin'." Remy said dryly, unconvincingly.

Rogue wanted to scream in frustration. "Remy! Bah God, Ah will let Logan clip off ya penis raght now if ya don't tell him that it's not true!"

"Whoa, calm down _chere_! Let's not make hasty decisions! 'M jus' kiddin', _heh_?" He glanced up at Logan. "She wasn't masturbatin'." He said again, this time more convincingly and not just repeating her words.

"Then what _were_ you doing?" Logan asked suspiciously, his glare still locked on Remy.

"Ah was…" _wait, what the hell do Ah say now? Ah was turned on sleepin' next ta Remy in mah body? That Remy coached me through calmin' down mah erection?_

"You were…" Logan prodded.

Remy grinned widely and chuckled, knowing the thoughts that must be going through Rogue's head. _Is she gunna tell 'im dat she was sleepin' next t' me an' got a little excited?_

Rogue was beat red. "Nevermind. You're right, Logan, Ah was masturbatin'."

Remy hid his grin while Logan slammed a fist against the ground. "I knew it!"

-----

**Five minutes later, Rogue was ready to kill herself.** She really was. It'd be much better to die now than to suffer through any more of this humiliation. "…so it really doesn't feel much different than you'd expect, hard and ready. Though I imagine you had a difficult time getting it up. I can—"

"Logan." Rogue interrupted his coaching her on what a man's erection felt like. Cheeks still burning crimson, she couldn't imagine that hell itself would be so cruel to her. "Ah, uh…Ah understand now, thanks."

"Next time just come tell me what's wrong, Rogue. I don't like it when you feel too shy to talk to me, even when it's about this stuff."

Beside her, Remy nudged an elbow into her side. "Maybe y' jus' shoulda told him it was fo' me, _heh_? I dink y'd be better off wit' him tryin' t' dice me."

"Hey!" Logan growled, watching Remy close to Rogue. "You get away from her, you little explosive."

"Interestin' choice o' words." Remy half whispered. "_Explosive_."

"Cahn we please talk 'bout somethin' else?" Rogue asked, thoroughly humiliated. _The erection itself wasn't this degradin'. _

"What about dat weather _heh_?" Remy piped up cheerily. "Makes a _fille_ awfully cold."

"With an outfit lihke that, no wonder." Rogue muttered darkly. The three of them came upon the kitchen then. Bobby had gotten up somewhere in-between leaving the room and the confrontation with Logan. He was now seated at the kitchen table, drably munching on some cheerios. He looked up as they came in.

"Hello, snowpuff!" Remy greeted cheerily. Rogue didn't say anything and Logan just grunted before heading to the refrigerator for his stash of beer.

"Rogue." Bobby put his spoon down. "Um, I was actually hoping we could…talk."

Rogue sighed heavily. Remy glanced in her direction and she shrugged. "Do what ya want." Bobby stood and began heading towards the door. Remy followed him.

Remy walked outside with Bobby and sighed as Bobby waited for the door to shut behind them. Bobby turned around sharply and glared at Remy. "What the hell do you think this is, Rogue? How the _hell_ did Remy get you to agree to go out with him?"

Remy smiled. _Let's have some fun wi'h dis._ "Oh Bobby!" Remy swooned. "He's _soo_ sexy an' he's got that beautiful square-cut jaw an' the most gorgeous abs yah've ever seen! Ah mean, really, you should feel them—"

Bobby interrupted, looking highly disturbed. "So what? Remy's the rebound guy?"

"He's no rebound guy." Remy shook his head. "He's ma boyfriend, Bobby, an' y' respect that."

"He's not good for you, Rogue!"

_Excuse me? With people like dis totally dissin' me, it's no wonder Roguey hasn't gone fo' me. _"Remy's a _great _guy!" Remy protested. "He's nice an' he compliments me all the time! Yah have no say in who Ahh see, Bobby. An' I don' like y' moseying in ma business!"

Bobby looked taken aback. "Remy's a great guy?" He snorted. "The man sleeps with a new girl every other night, Rogue! I _room_ with the guy, I know! If he doesn't break your heart simply by being himself, he's sure to infect you with some sort of disease!"

_Why does everyone accuse me o' having diseases?! All dese hommes are jus' jealous. Bobby especially so, now dat Roguey an' me are 'goin' out.' _"Ya jus' don't know him." Remy snapped, angered at Bobby's accusations.

"And you do?" Bobby challenged. "How long have you been with him now, Rogue? 'Cause if it's been over a month, I can tell you that he slept with another girl that short ago! He's _using_ you, Rogue."

"'M not—" _You're Rogue, Rogue! Not Remy. _"He's not usin' me, Bobby. Remy's wanted t' go out with me specifically fo' a long time now. 'M not like his other girls. It's true that Remy's been a player before an' Ah know that more than anyone, but it's not the same with me."

Bobby sneered. "Did he tell you that?" He scoffed. "You can't even see it yourself, Rogue, and it's pathetic. Like he really cares about you? Like he'll be there for you the next weekend, after you've thrown yourself at him? Give me a break."

"It's not like dat!" Remy shouted, angry now. "R-" _you're Rogue. Rogue!_ "Remy cares about me, Bobby an' it's not like one o' his little hoe girls! I'm special to him! It's Rogue!"

Bobby shook his head in disgust. "Don't be surprised when he throws you away. And _don't_ come to me when he does." _An' why da hell would she come t' y', y' cheatin' bastard. _With that said, he turned and left, scowling as he turned to return to the kitchen and found Remy standing in the doorway. "Congratulations asshole." He shook his head. "Give her a good spanking, huh?" He left, slamming the door behind him.

Rogue gave Remy high eyebrows. "What the hell was that?"

"What?" Remy muttered sourly.

"Did ya really jus' have a fight with Bobby over me?" Rogue shook her head in disbelief. "Really, ya make me out ta be the perfect dimwitted bimbo."

Remy looked up at her in confusion. "What? No I didn't."

"'Ah'm Rogue, it's different, Ah'm special' –Really? And that was what, persuasive speaking?" Rogue shook her head at Remy. "You've been a jerk this whole time, Remy, an' Ah really don't appreciate the way ya keep puttin' me out there the way ya do, lihke Ah'm totally infatuated with you."

"I wasn't makin' y' out t' be a bimbo, Rogue." Remy said earnestly, then paused. "Well, 'xcept for dat abs comment, but dat was jus' t' make Bobby angry."

"As soon as we get our bodies back, everythin's going back ta normal. That includes _us_, Remy. Ah'm not gunna continue ta pose bein' your airheaded skank."

"Rogue, I don' dink o' y' dat way."

Rogue snorted. "Coulda fooled me."

The conversation was taking a turn for a worse, the way it had in the bedroom when Remy had tried to talk to Rogue about how he felt about her. "Rogue, I like y'." Remy finally said, holding up a hand to silence her before she could speak. "I know y' dink dat 'm jus' a no good, womanizer thief an' dat I'll go crazy chasin' any girl jus' t' go t' bed with her, but dat's not why I want y'. Rogue, dis last day has been filled with some o' my best memories an' 'm not jus' talkin' 'bout actin' out in y' body. De day was fun because I spent it with y'. I like dat. I like jus' spendin' time with y' an' jokin' an' helpin' an' lookin' fo' a common solution t' dis problem we in."

He continued. "I know dat y' been stressed 'bout everyt'ing dat's been happenin', but can y' really say dat y' hated it all too? Dat y' didn' have fun when y' hid de pads from me o' look back an' be able t' laugh dat we got stuck ina shower while de curious kitten padded around de room—O' even kissin' me, no matter dat it was really jus' ourselves we kissin'. What 'bout when I showed y' y' could touch me, Rogue? An' 'm de only one y' can do dat with. Isn't it a sign, dat de only person who's unaffected happens t' end up in de same mansion as y'." Remy smiled sadly. "Y' said y' liked me 'till y' got t' know me as 'de player' yesterday, but Rogue, dat's not what I want with y'. I want y' because y' not jus' 'cause y' de prettiest _fille_ I ever seen o' because y' get so cute when y' antagonized, I want y' because y' y' an' I want de whole package."

It was Rogue's turn to stare now. Honestly, she didn't know how to respond to Remy. She hadn't expected this in the least. Any witty comment would have been handled with ease and much preferred to this, Rogue just didn't know what to say. "Remy…"

"Y' don' have t' say anythin', Roguey. I jus' wanted t' let y' know dat it's not a game with y' fo' me an' y' not jus' _one o' de many_. I know y' don' trust dat I can focus m' attention on jus' one _fille_ an' like jus' her, but I can fo' y'. I jus' wanted y' t' hear dat from me, somethin' I been wantin' t' say."

"Remy, Ah—"

But Remy cut her short. "I dink we should go see Jeany, _chere_. See what we can do, _heh_?" Rogue swallowed the spittle that had gathered in her mouth as she was going to respond to Remy and swallowed her reply with it. Remy obviously was pushing to stop the discussion for now. _He jus' wanted ta tell me…he didn't ask fohr anything…just ta tell me…_ she nodded at his changed subject.

"Yeah…" her throat was uncomfortably dry and scratchy.

He held up a hand for her to take. "Fo' memory's sake?"

Rogue bit her bottom lip as she stepped towards him and took it soundlessly. His smaller fingers curved into her larger hand perfectly and his palm was warm in her own. They started down to Jean's lab together, silent. Remy quietly squeezed Rogue's hand. He was elated when he felt a soft little tug back, but he kept his gaze forward, softly smiling to himself.


	10. Irony

_**A/N: Hello everyone! Got a sorta serious ending to this chapter, sorry for that, I know it's a funnyfic but the ending of this one plays into what happens in the next. 'Sides, it's not like we weren't all expecting a confrontation anyway. So, sorry for the delay on this one and I hope you all like it =) we'll go back to more funniness too, don't worry. Hope you like! :D  
**_

_**-----  
**_

"**What do you mean, ya can't fix us?!"** Rogue demanded in horror, nearly hysterical. "Jean! We can't stay this way! You're the strongest telepath here raght now, ya can't do anything?!"

Jean tried to calm the frantic Rogue. "I said I couldn't fix you just yet, Rogue, not that I couldn't fix you."

Remy shuffled his feet. "What's de problem? Why can't y' cure us?"

"Although I'm sure you both have been put through a lot being in each other, I can't just switch you back. I need to analyze your minds thoroughly and compare the scans and take time to match back all the aspects that individually belong to you, Rogue, and those that belong to Remy. It's going to take some time."

"_Some time_?"

Remy was looking doubtful. "Dat's awfully vague, Jeany. How long is _some time_, exactly?"

"It depends on how quickly I can match up and compare. It could be anywhere from a few hours to about a week."

"A _week_?" There was a heavy _thump_ only seconds later and Remy looked over at Rogue in alarm to see that the poor girl had fainted. Remy hurriedly knelt down beside Rogue and felt for her pulse. When he was reassured that she was still breathing alright, he began to shake her shoulder lightly, trying to wake her.

"Rogue, _chere_, wake up. Come on, Roguey."

Jean had also knelt down beside him and was shaking her head. "She must have been through a lot." Remy nodded. "You have to be a little fed up with the situation too, Remy." Jean pressed. _He must be so embarrassed; I can't wait to hear it._

Remy shrugged. "It don't feel like home, if y' know what I mean."

"I imagine it's quite disturbing." Jean continued. "How horrified you must have been, to wake up without certain appendages." Mentally, she grinned to herself. _Yes, knowing Remy that should have been petrifying._

Remy chuckled. "_Oui_, I admit dat scared me at first."

"At first?" Jean questioned suspiciously._ And what about afterwards?_

"Well, when I found out dat it was Roguey's body an' not mine jus' missin' m' parts, dat was slightly more reassurin'. I was jus' tryin' t' figure it out before Roguey came in an' tackled me."

_He doesn't sound very upset… _"Tackled you?"

"She t'ought I did dis." Remy smiled softly. "She was terrified, dat. Den Kitty came an' hit 'er."

"Hit Rogue?" Jean was frowning. "While she looked like you?" _I thought Kitty liked Remy? _

Remy nodded. "_Oui,_ accused 'er of attackin' me."

Jean shook her head, still frowning. "But—surely you went through some difficulties too, did you not? Trapped in Rogue's body, unable to touch as you normally so often do…"

Remy frowned slightly, eyebrows creased. _What is Jeany pushin' at? Why's she so interested in what I been t'rough? _"I suppose de PMSing was somewhat uncomfortable." Remy worded carefully.

It was just a flash, but Remy was an expert and detecting subtleties and emotions. Even when he didn't possess his empathy anymore, Remy knew women more than anyone. He saw the momentary flash of satisfaction through Jean's eyes. He trained his mind not to think about it for the time being. "Well, I suppose we should get started." Jean finally said, completely changing the subject.

Remy blinked. "Rogue's still out." He gently shook her shoulder again. "Roguey, wake up _fille_." He glanced back at Jean. "Y' got any water o' anyt'ing?"

Jean nodded quietly and disappeared to go get a cup of water. Remy watched her go with a curious expression. _I wonder…_ He waited patiently for Jean to return. She did shortly later, carrying a small cup that she handed to him. "Y' know," Remy started slyly. "I know Rogue don't dink so, but dis situation's kinda been fun, me."

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Jean raise a curious eyebrow. "Really?" she asked, clearly surprised. "Fun?"

Remy nodded, tapping Rogue once more before he tried to wake her again. "_Oui_, I been havin' a blast." Remy responded enthusiastically. "Really, dis little incident's given me alotta insight." He nodded down to Rogue. "Poor _fille,_ dough. She's had a time with it." Still watching Jean's reactions closely, Remy dumped the water glass out over Rogue's face with a flick of his wrist.

Rogue jolted and sputtered at the splash of cold water against her skin. Blinking rapidly to clear her eyes, she looked up to both of them in confusion for half a moment before realization again dawned upon her. Rogue sighed and rested her head back down against the table. Relatively calmed and seemingly resigned, Rogue spoke. "Please don't make this last a week, Jean."

_How could he have been having an enjoyable time?! It took me days to plan and orchestrate this and now he's just shrugging it off?! Where's the fairness in that?! He deserves some punishment!_ "I'll do see what I can do, Rogue." Jean promised. She nodded to Remy. "Shall we proceed?"

"Sure, _fille_." Remy agreed. "Y' jus' gunna scan m' mind now o' what?"

Jean nodded. "Why don't you both sit down on a table?"

"Why does every telepath tell ya ta sit down?" Rogue grumbled as Remy helped her up and over to the medical table. They both braced their arms against the table before simultaneously lifting themselves up and sitting on the table in the exact same fashion. Remy smiled at their movements, but Rogue didn't seem to notice. "It's lihke they expect ta make ya fall down or somethin'."

Remy bobbed his head to Jean. "Whenever y' ready, _fille_."

Jean gave him a patient look before closing her eyes. Remy felt an unfamiliar tingle inside his head as Jean began scanning over his mind. He waited patiently as memories flashed through his mind of events from the previous day. What felt like only a few minutes later, Jean retreated from his mind, frowning. _He __**has**__ been having fun!_

"What's wrong?" Rogue asked, seeing Jean's frown.

Jean shook her head. "Nothing." She turned to Rogue. "Open up your mind to me, Rogue. Remy's always been particularly difficult for me to read into."

Rogue closed her eyes as Jean did too and focused on opening her mind to the telepath. The process went the same as with Remy. It felt just like when Betsy had scanned her mind. Only taking a few moments, Jean opened her eyes again. Her frown had deepened. "What?" Rogue asked again. "What did you see?"

"You've been through a lot, Rogue." Rogue blushed again at the thought that the telepath had seen what exactly had been going on the past day.

_Poor girl!_ Jean thought sadly after leaving Rogue's mind. _This has been much harder on her than it's been for Remy. This isn't what I intended! Remy was supposed to be the one going through punishment, not Rogue. I have to save face, though. No one must know of what I've done! _"I'll get right to work on this. You should both check back down with me in a few hours."

"Make sure de time is spent productively on _our_ front, _heh_?" Remy told her, giving her a knowing look.

_Oh, the cocky bastard! I can't believe this didn't work! He really needs to be put in his place! _Outwardly, she simply gave him a sharp look. Remy hopped down from the table and offered an arm to Rogue too as she jumped down. "Please hurry." Rogue begged.

Jean nodded again. "I will. You two should get going, you'll be late for the Danger Room session." Now that she had seen that Remy really wasn't fazed at all and was, in fact, having a blast in Rogue's body while the poor girl suffered miserably with humiliation, Jean had no other reason to prolong the switch, other than the fact that she had told them it'd take a few hours. So they'd be each other for a short while longer and then she'd switch them back. Jean sighed heavily. _Why's Remy get to walk away from everything all happy and gloating? It's just not fair._

_-----  
_

**As soon as they had left the medical lab, Remy broke the silence that had opened up between them again.** "_Chere,_ I dink I know who did dis t' us." Rogue stopped cold.

"Ya _know_ who did this ta us?! Why didn't ya say anything?!"

"Shhh." Remy hushed her, grabbing her arm and tugging her further down the hallway. "I jus' figured it out."

"Who is it?" Rogue asked in a hushed voice, not really sure why they were whispering.

"It's Jean."

"Jean?!" Rogue asked incredulously, loudly.

"Shhh!" Remy shushed her, still dragging her away by the arm.

"Where did ya get the idea that it's Jean?" Rogue asked quietly. "Jean's a teacher, Remy! She wouldn't do this!"

Remy shook his head. "If dere's anythin' I know best, _chere_, it's how t' watch a _fille_'s reaction. I know dat Jean's guilty. De way she reacted when I talked t' her while y' were out? 'M _sure_ it's her."

"Why would Jean do this?" Rogue asked anxiously, gesturing down to herself. "There's no reason fohr her ta turn me inta a man! She wouldn't do this ta us—she's datin' Logan, Remy! Logan would never allow her ta do somethin' lihke this."

"Logan didn't know, remember _chere_?" Remy pointed out. "An' Jean wasn't aimin' dis at y', she was lookin' t' get revenge on me."

"Get revenge?" Rogue was clearly disbelieving. "What is she, a petty four year old? Just because ya caught them in bed an' made comments, this is how she reacts?"

"Uhh…I dink she's a bit more dan angry at me, _chere_."

"And why is that?" Rogue questioned suspiciously. "You let her little secret slip ta somebody?"

"T' Scott."

Rogue's eyes widened. "You told Scott that Jean was cheatin' on him?!"

"Not on purpose!" Remy defended himself. "Scott happened t' be walkin' by in de adjacent hallway when I was makin' de snarky comments." Remy admitted. "He heard me an' came by curiously when he saw."

"Dammit Remy, you an' ya big mouth. So _that's_ the reason Jean did this?!"

Remy bowed his head. "I s'pose so. 'M sorry fo' puttin' y' drough all dis, Roguey."

Rogue sighed. "Well it's hardly your fault."

Remy looked up in surprise. "_Quoi?"_

Rogue shrugged, somewhat uncomfortably. "Well it's not." Remy gave her a quizzical look and she went on to explain. "It's not lihke it's your fault that Jean was cheatin'. Although ya could have been a little smarter 'bout it bah not runnin' ya mouth, Ah can't _really_ justifiably fault ya fohr our situation."

Remy was glowing inside. _Only yesterday, she probably woulda whaled on me fo' dis! We're makin' progress!_

Rogue glanced over at him. "Well don' look so happy 'bout it, we lost our only ally who could get us outa this. Now what're we supposed ta do? Ah already went ta Betsy; she said that only the person who did this would have a shot at gettin' us back completely normal. Ah was countin' on Jean bein' a strong enough telepath ta do it anyway. The professor's outa this country, so he can't help. Jus' how're we gunna fix this ourselves?"

"I don' dink we'll have t'." Remy mused. "Jean did dis t' get back at me. She needed a second person t' complete de task t'ough an' using y' made sense 'cause y' can't touch anyone."

"Puttin' the flirt in'a untouchable body." Rogue commented wryly. "What beautiful irony, huh?"

Remy shrugged. "Don' matter. I can touch y'." Before Rogue could say anything to this, Remy continued. "But de point is, she did it t' get back at me, _heh_? But she jus' scanned our minds an' she see dat I not exactly been sufferin', me. So she'll switch us back."

Rogue looked dubious. "Ah don't know 'bout that, Remy…"

"It makes sense, don' it?" Remy gave her nonchalant expression, shrugging.

"Ah can't believe she'd do this." Rogue huffed angrily. "_Ah_ didn't do anythin' ta deserve this! An' you didn't either! She jus' gets off the idea that she cahn play puppet master? If Ah could smack that woman without her first seein' the thought an' stoppin' me, Ah'd give her a beatin' lihke no other." Remy smiled softly at Rogue's anger. She turned her fiery gaze on him. "What're you smilin' at?!"

"Y' know, even in my body, _chere_, y' are _still_ cute when y' angry."

Rogue sulked moodily. "Admire yourself much? Honestly, ya can take the boy outa his body but ya can't take the ego outa his system."

"'M not sure y' got dat expression right _fille_." Remy chuckled.

"You are a pain in mah ass, Remy." Rogue grumbled.

"Dat would be a pain in m' ass y' mean, _chere_." Remy grinned.

Rogue muttered in good nature. "Annoyin' Swamp Rat."

"An' I t'ought I was de one PMSing." Remy gave her a winning smile.

Rogue shook her head at him. "God must hate me, really."

Remy pulled up short then. "We're here, _chere_."

Rogue glanced up at their surroundings and groaned. "Speakin' 'bout pains in mah ass..."

Remy nodded towards the changing rooms that they'd have to use to change into their uniforms. "Dis should certainly be interestin', _heh_?"

"Cahn ya do me a favor, Remy?"

"Hmm?" Remy prodded.

"Don't come out with that outfit again."

Remy grinned.

-----

**Remy strolled into the girl's locker room casually and counted down the lockers to the fifth one in the row. **He opened it cautiously as Kitty appeared from one of the bathrooms. She was already all suited up and ready to go. Spotting Remy, Kitty quickly washed her hands and went over to the locker a few down from Remy's. She leaned against the locker casually and looked Remy up and down.

Remy glanced up at her from behind the locker door. "Kitty." He greeted cordially, wondering what the other girl was up to.

"Rogue." Kitty responded just as shortly, lifting her eyebrows at him. "I noticed you didn't come back to our bedroom last night."

"Yeah?" Remy asked casually, trying to throw it off.

"Yeah?" Kitty shut the locker. Remy barely got his hands out in time before the door slapped shut. "Tell me what happened! I want _all_ the details!"

"Nothin' happened." Remy said truthfully.

"Oh please." Kitty rolled her eyes. "Come on, Rogue! What happened to all the role-playing? What was it last night?"

"Really, Kit." Remy told her. "Nothin' happened. I jus' fell asleep."

"You gotta be kiddin' me." Kitty shook her head. "You can't tell me that you didn't do anything! I know it's not true, Rogue!"

"Kit, nothin' happened, it's true." Remy insisted.

"Aww, leave a girl her secrets huh?" Alison admonished, coming out of apparently nowhere up behind Remy. "She's gotta keep some _flair_ to herself." She punctuated the word by smacking Remy on the butt.

"Whoa!" Remy jumped forward in surprise, almost colliding into Kitty. "Down, Bessy!"

Alison gave a generous, vivacious grin before licking her lips. "_Any_ time you want a three-some, Rogue, I'm not put off by that dangerous skin of yours." She shook her ass alluringly. "_Anytime_."

"On dat note, Ahh'll be changin' in da bathroom." Alison winked as he ducked into the stall. _'M not even male an' de filles still want me! Dat does wonders fo' my ego, me. But non, dis Cajun's only got eyes fo' one fille. An' I happen t' be wearin' her body! Ironic huh?_

_-----  
_

**Rogue found her locker without much difficulty and was just pulling out her battle gear and wear when a surprising, angry voice interrupted her proceedings. **"Hey, Remy! You forgot her jacket!"

Rogue turned in time to have a leather jacket thrown at her face. She reached up and pulled the jacket down just in time to receive a hard punch to the jaw. Rogue stumbled back, before she even had time to process what was going on, another devastating blow caught her in the mouth. Her lip split under the force and she was shoved back again. This time, she didn't have time to catch herself and ended up sprawling to the ground.

Her assailant was on her in an instant, hauling back and striking her face again. Rogue groaned as she brought up her arms in front of her face to protect herself from any more blows. Her attacker angrily knocked her arms aside and made to hit her again. Before he could strike her again, Rogue reached up and grabbed Bobby's jacket. It lit up a bright, glowing magenta color. "Hit me again and Ah'll blow ya straight through the roof." Bobby paused.

"Get offa me." Rogue ordered. Slowly, Bobby climbed off Rogue's body. Rogue kept a tight grip on his jacket as he did so. "Stand with me." Rogue ordered. Together, the two of them made their way to their feet. "Stay still." Rogue commanded. Bobby, glaring at her darkly, obeyed and kept still as Rogue gripped his jacket tightly and started walking around Bobby, carefully taking the bomb off. When it had safely been removed, Rogue tossed it into one of the bathroom stalls where it blew up harmlessly and some water started spraying randomly.

Rogue turned back to Bobby quickly and slammed him up against a locker; holding her arm up against his throat and holding him in place with her other hand. "Listen to me carefully, Bobby." Bobby glared at her darkly and she held the same snarl on her own face. "Ah don't care that ya don't lihke Rogue's romantic choices or that you feel as if a mistake's being made. It is not your choice anymore. Rogue is _not_ yours. _You_ screwed that up, Bobby, an' ya can't fix it. You will stop messin' with me or interfering in our affairs. Y' got me, _homme_?"

Bobby was still glaring at her with narrowed eyes. He didn't say anything. Rogue pulled him back and tossed him up against the locker again, just for good measure. "Okay?!"

Breathing raggedly, gritting his teeth, Bobby nodded. Rogue let go of his shirt then and pushed him away from her, down the line of lockers. Rogue wiped the back of her hand against her chin and spat out a spittle of blood from her split lip._ It's funny._ She thought silently, making her way to the bathroom. _Ah'm not even in mah own body and Bobby's __**still **__pissin' me off, hell, Ah'm defending me and Remy's relationship! Ironic, huh?_


	11. Unwanted Addiction

_**A/N: Hi everyone again. 'M very sorry to have to say this, but this marks the day of perhaps the last once-a-day updates (besides tomorrow and maybe Friday, depending on when my vacation begins). I am going off on a vacation trip with the family and I won't have internet while I'm there. 'Course, I'll still write, but when I get back, three more of my college classes will be picking up to make a total of seven classes. With such a workload ahead of me, I don't know if I'm gunna be able to update as often as I've been for you guys. 'M very sorry 'bout it and I'd much rather be writing stories than doing homework, but ya know, gotta succeed in life too.**_**_ So anyway, I just wanted to give you all a warning so you don't think I've disappeared on you when no updates appear this weekend and they start coming in shorter intervals. 'M sorry 'bout it guys :/ but I'll do my best to keep writing as often as possible for you. With that said, here's the next chapter. Hope you all like it =)_**

**_-----  
_**

**Remy gaped in alarm at the sight of her and rushed to her side.** Tenderly lifting a hand to her chin, he barely grazed her fine facial hairs with the pads of his fingers. "Are y' okay, Rogue?" He asked in concern. "What happened?"

Rogue flinched as he ran his fingers over her bruised jaw and then trailed up to her split lip. She could feel her cheek swelling too, from Bobby's last blow. "Ah'm okay." Rogue assured him, reaching up and taking his hand. "Ah just…well, Ah got into a fight with Bobby."

Remy glared at the boy over Rogue's shoulder as he stalked into the room grumpily and shot a glare at the back of Rogue's head. "Y' don't want any ice o' anythin'?"

Rogue shook her head. "No, Ah'm okay Remy, really, don't worry 'bout it."

"Y' sure, _chere_?" Remy asked doubtfully.

Rogue nodded. "Yeah, Ah'm fahne."

Remy dropped her hand. "In dat case, I got an icy-ass t' kick."

Rogue opened her mouth to call out and stop him, but Remy already left her side. "Hey Bobby!" He called out. Bobby turned back at the sound of Rogue's voice. Without hesitating, Remy proceeded to punch Bobby in the face. Bobby dropped like a pin and Remy glared down from above him. "Don't _ever_ touch maa sweetheart again ya asswipe!" She kicked him in the side for good measure while he clutched at his nose on the ground. Bobby moaned and rolled onto his side.

Remy returned to Rogue's side and patted her on the shoulder. Rogue gave him a high sign. "Was that _entirely_ necessary?"

"Sure it was, _chere_. Look what de bastard did t' my face!" Rogue rolled her eyes. "Besides," Remy added. "_Nobody_ hits m' Rogue-_chere _an' gets away with it."

Rogue opened her mouth again to respond, but she was cut off by Scott's voice booming throughout the Danger Room. "Everybody, line up! We've got a new type of session today."

Remy tugged on her hand. "Come on, _chere_, let's go." They walked over to the single file line that was forming in the middle of the Danger Room. Remy stood at her side as Scott made his way in front of them all.

"Bobby!" Scott barked. "Get in line before I make you do laps!" Bobby, still clutching his nose and with an arm over her side, stumbled to his feet and lined up on the opposite end of the line from Remy and Rogue.

Scott, seemingly oblivious to the injures that had already been suffered, started at the end of the line and began handing them what looked like play guns that he had strapped to his back. "These are stun-rays." Scott explained, handing one to Remy first and then to Rogue as he went down the line. Rogue examined it curiously for half a second before throwing the strap over her shoulder and holding it limp in her hand. "The object of this game is somewhat like Laser Tag: once shot with one of these, you'll go down for the rest of the session until one team has won the game. It will feel like a short shock to your system before you lose all motor functions from the neck down temporarily.

Scott continued. "Now, you are allowed to use powers, but you must knock out the other players with the stun-ray. You'll start at far ends of the Danger Room that I'll assign momentarily and wait for your landscape to form before getting the go-ahead to attack."

"Are we allowed to pick our own teams?" Kitty asked hopefully.

"No." Scott cut off the idea. "You'll be assigned a teammate based upon your own abilities, mutation, and previous competency in the Danger Room." Scott finished handing out the stun-rays and trotted back to the middle of the line, turning to face them. "The last team who has at least one or both of its members un-stunned will win the game. This focus of this exercise is to help your precision, tactical strategy, and to work together with constructively with a partner."

"What are teams?" John asked curiously.

"John, you will be working with Betsy." John grinned viciously. "Kitty, you're with Alison. Tabitha, pair up with Remy. Bobby, you're with Rogue."

Rogue gawked and cast Remy a desperate look. "Scott, can Ah team with Ro—"

"There are _no_ team changes." Scott specified strictly. He gave Rogue a dark look before fixing his gaze on Remy and winked.

Rogue blinked wordlessly. _What was that about?_ She had little time to think about it though, as Tabitha sidled up to her and wrapped an arm around Rogue's waist. "Hey sexy." Tabitha pressed up against her side, shoving her gun into Rogue's gut while doing so. "I like the idea of collapsing on you. Come on, Remy, show me your gun."

Rogue suppressed a groan—doing so would probably only turn Tabitha on more. She looked up at Remy with anxious eyes. "I'll find y' quick." Remy promised quietly, glancing in Bobby's direction doubtfully. "I'll need de help too."

With that, Scott ushered Rogue off quickly, brushing Tabitha off her with a stern expression as they made their way to their end of the Danger Room.

Bobby trudged up to Remy as Scott shooed him away. Bobby glanced up at Rogue with a ridged jaw and clicked his teeth. "Rogue."

"Bobby. Tat bloody nose looks good on y'."

Bobby sighed in deep aggravation. Remy brushed past him as he made his way to the corner Scott directed them to. Bobby wiped at his nose with the back of his hand and ran to catch up with Remy. "Rogue, I didn't mean to offend you by—"

"_Offend_ me?" Remy asked incredulously. "Y' hit m' boyfriend! I don't care if y' don't like it or understand it, Bobby. I want y' ta get this through y' thick head: y' are _not_ my keeper an' I don' need or want y' ta 'protect' me."

"He—"

Remy cut him off quickly. "Enough, Bobby. There's nothin' y' have t' say t' me anymore." The lights overhead dimmed and solid walls began rising out of the floor before the Danger Room colored them over as forest trees and pathways. Steel coils became vines and walls became hedges, everything changed as the simulator around them ran into gear. Remy started for one of the pathways without another word, but he heard Bobby padding after him anyway. Remy sighed deeply; would there be no end to Bobby's mad obsession?

------

**Rogue crouched before sticking her head around the corner and checking the next bend. **It was empty. Silently, she scuttled forward on quick toes and began making her way down the next passage.

"I love it when you sneak around and use your thiefy skills." Tabitha complimented loudly. "It's so sexy!"

"Shhh." Rogue hushed her. "You'll alert someone ta our position."

"Ooh, you're right. Wouldn't want to do that." Tabitha's tone hushed slightly. "You have the most gorgeous ass, Remy."

Rogue glanced over her shoulder to see that Tabitha was clearly checking her out up and down. "Come on, Tabby, focus."

"I've never been more focused." Tabitha grinned, still analyzing Rogue's current body.

Rogue shook her head and turned back around. She started off again and made it to another corner in the maze. She ducked down and scoped out the scene to see if anyone else was around. The two branching off pathways were deserted for now. Rogue had just made the decision to turn and head right when Tabitha grabbed her butt tightly and squeezed.

"Whoa!" Rogue scooted forward and turned around quickly. "What do you think you're doing, Tabitha?" Rogue demanded quietly.

Tabitha grinned slyly and swayed up to Rogue as she pushed up against her. Rogue backed up a step, but found herself walking back into a wall. Tabitha moved forward quickly and waggled her eyebrows at Rogue. "Let's heat this game up a little, shall we?" She was pressed up close against Rogue and Rogue could feel her breath on her neck. She lifted her arms to push Tabitha away, but Tabitha took the opening and grabbed Rogue's sensitive member through her jeans, cupping her. Rogue gasped and pressed back further against the wall, willing it to collapse back.

"Tabitha!" Rogue grabbed the girl's wrist and pulled her hand away. "Stop that!"

Tabitha licked her lips lusciously and didn't move back. "Nobody's watching." She purred softly. "Gimme a thrill, Remy." She punctuated the sentence by dragging her tongue across Rogue's neck. _This just cannot be any more disturbing._

Gently, Rogue put both her hands on Tabitha's shoulders and held her away from her. "Look, Tabby, not that y' not pretty or anythin', but I don' t'ink Rogue would like me playin' around with y'." Tabitha pouted. "Sorry." _Did Ah jus' apologize fohr bein' assaulted?_

"Well…okay."

"Okay?" Rogue asked, confused slightly. _That's it? Ah expected a little more fight than that._

Tabitha sighed dramatically. "If Rogue doesn't want you having fun, that's your call."

"…thanks…" Rogue nodded unsurely, letting go of Tabitha's shoulders and half expecting the girl to leap on her the moment she got free. "Let's go disable the others now, alright?"

"Okay." Frowning, Rogue started down the left pathway again. She had barely taken two steps before she felt an electrifying zap strike her at the base of her neck. "Ahhghh!" Rogue spasmed for a moment before she lost all feeling in her limbs and fell to the ground with a profound _thump._

She was turned over onto her back two seconds later by Tabitha, who was standing above her. "She might not like it if _you_ come playing to me, but she can hardly be mad at you for being a hapless victim, can she?"

Rogue's eyes widened in horror as Tabitha seated herself on Rogue's lap. "Tabitha, don't!"

Tabitha smiled pleasantly. "I think it's cute that you're behaving all noble for Rogue, Remy, I do. But you deserve a little play time too, I think, and I know just how you like it. Don't worry, I'll tell Rogue that you were the victim." She winked. "We can role-play it out if you want."

"Tabby—" Rogue swallowed anxiously. "Ah—Ah'll buy y' some strippers, okay? Ah'll even getcha some toys ta play with!"

"Ooh, that's a generous offer, Remy. Would you be joining me in this stripper event? I'm not put off if there are more girls than guys there." Tabitha reached for her front zipper on the spandex, form fitting X-uniform. She started to tug it down. _Somebody save me._ Rogue silently begged.

_Rogue?_ A familiar British accent cut through Rogue's thoughts.

_Betsy!_ Rogue mentally exclaimed jubilantly. _Ah've never been so happy ta hear another girl's voice in mah life!_

_Settle down! I don't want you to jump and attack me. What's going on?_

_Ah need help, fast._ Rogue pleaded. _Could ya please find me quickly, Betsy?! _Rogue flinched as Tabitha stopped unzipping her at her hips. She pulled back the form-fitting leather and laid her hands flat on Rogue's chest before digging her nails into the skin and dragging downward. "Ow!" Rogue yelped. _How does any guy think that's sexy?! It hurts!_

_Oh my God, Rogue! _

_What?_ Rogue's eyes darted around her expectantly. _What?_

_You had a boner!_ Betsy exclaimed laughingly.

_Betsy! _Rogue strained against her unresponsive body as Tabitha lowered her head to her chest and started licking the area. Rogue could feel it too, it wasn't like she was paralyzed, just unresponsive to her brain's commands. _Ah'm gunna get another if ya don't help me!_

_I'm coming, I'm coming._ Betsy reassured her. _Someone else is getting there quicker though._

_Who's someone?_ "Hey, Tabby! You hogging that handsome stud all to yourself or are you gunna share?" Rogue's stomach dropped. _No! Oh please no! Not Alison too!_

She was answered as the girl in question came into view, smiling as always, happy as ever. Tabitha grinned salaciously. "There's always room for more." She dug her nails into Rogue's shoulder and Rogue let out a little moan as they drew blood.

"Girls, please!" Rogue cried out, frantic. "Ya can't just—!" Alison shut her up quickly by pressing her mouth against Rogue's. Rogue sputtered. Alison tried to slip her tongue into Rogue's mouth, but Rogue kept her jaw clamped tightly shut.

_Please don't get hard. Please don't get hard. Please don't get hard._ Rogue repeated the words like a mantra._ Empty ketchup bottles. Poor, sad empty little bottles…_

"What's going on here?" A new voice rung out in the air. Tabitha and Alison both lifted their heads to the newcomer (which Rogue was extremely grateful for).

"Hey Kitty." Tabitha greeted casually.

Alison bobbed her head at the girl. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Kitty looked at them incredulously. "What're you doing? Is that Remy?"

"Sure is." Tabitha turned back to Rogue and entangled her hands in Rogue's short hair.

"We're just having some fun." Alison nodded again.

"Kitty, help me!" Rogue beseeched in distress.

Kitty gave a surprised look while Tabitha covered Rogue's mouth with her hand. "We're role-playing." She explained. "Remy's the hapless victim. We're here to help him." She lifted her hand off Rogue's mouth and lowered her body down over Rogue's until their lips were touching. Rogue tried to turn away, but Tabitha kept her head still with the iron grip in her hair. She breathed into Rogue's mouth and then came back up, putting two hands against Rogue's chest and pressing down, as if she were giving Rogue CPR. "We'll save you, Remy! Don't worry!"

"Why don't you join us?" Alison offered magnanimously.

"Uh…sorry. I really don't go for more than two people."

"Kitty, help me!" Rogue called out again.

"He's calling for you." Tabitha grinned.

"No!" Rogue protested. "No, stop! Ah—" Tabitha again covered her mouth and Rogue's words muffled into indistinguishable grunts.

_I've been hit!_ Betsy's words suddenly ricocheted through her mind.

_WHAT?!_ Rogue's heart raced. _They won't let me go!_

Tabitha looked up at Alison. "The patient needs to be gagged! Alison, if you would please?"

"Of course!" Alison reached into her uniform and shuffled her hand around for a moment. _If she pulls off her bra an' stuffs it in mah mouth, Ah'm really jus' gunna kill mahself._

_Oh, Rogue, you poor thing._ Betsy sympathized with her. _Logan thinks you were masturbating with Remy's 'toys' to get your kicks._

Rogue rolled her eyes. _Ah'm in hell._ Alison pulled out a white handkerchief from somewhere inside her suit then. _Ya gotta be kiddin' me._ Rogue thought incredulously. _She keeps a handkerchief inside her bra?_

"My usual restraints." Alison said, as if that explained everything. Tabitha lifted Rogue's head while Alison fastened the handkerchief around Rogue's mouth. Rogue kept her mouth tightly shut, well aware of the places Alison's handkerchief could have been.

"Kitty, come on!" Tabitha encouraged. "You like Remy, don't you?"

"I like single partners." Kitty replied. _And yet, she is still here watching me get tied down._

"Aww, Kit, you've probably never tried it this way." Alison waved her over. "Come on, it's fun! I promise!"

Kitty looked uneasy, but both Tabitha and Alison were waving her over. Hesitantly, reluctance clearly evident, Kitty moved over to where the girls were gathered. "Touch him!" Tabitha encouraged, scooting over off of Rogue to make room for the third.

Kitty blushed shyly, obviously not as confident as she had been in the closet with Rogue when she had to do this in front of other people. "Go on." Alison encouraged.

When Kitty took too long to do so, Tabitha took her hand and pressed her palm against Rogue's chest before rubbing her fingers over it. Slowly, but progressively, she guided Kitty's fingers down.

"Are we having an orgy?!" John asked in excitement. "Count me in!"

Alison was quick to pull him down by his shirt and mash her mouth against his in a hungry kiss. Kitty had coyly phased her hand out of Tabitha's grip during the distraction and was now tracing Rogue's chest with her finger lightly. "So defined." She mumbled softly, still blushing.

"I told you so." Bobby's voice floated into the clearing.

"ROGUE!" Remy's voice was clear and distinct above all the others as they murmured and touched experimentally. Rogue had never heard anything so beautiful in her life as Remy's voice was then. She didn't even care that he had called her out by name.

There was a short little electrical burst as Remy shot down everyone in the hallway with his stun gun. Tabitha and Kitty collapsed on top of Rogue and Alison and John collapsed together elsewhere. Remy rushed forward and pushed Tabitha and Kitty off Rogue before gathering her up in his arms and hugging her tightly. "_Chere_, are y' okay?"

It was clicked then; everyone except for Remy's team had been frozen. The mental paralysis that had kept her from moving her limbs suddenly dissolved. Rogue found the use of her arms and legs again and quickly folded herself into Remy, clutching him tightly against her. "You saved me!"

Rogue was first to break away from their embrace. She took Remy completely by surprise then when she grabbed his chin in her hands and pressed her lips against his and started kissing him passionately, pouring all her emotion and relief and happiness at his being there into the kiss.

Midway through again, Rogue stiffened and drew back very slightly. Remy observed her expression with concern. "_Chere?_"

Rogue clung to Remy and pulled him close to her again. Only then did Remy understand that Rogue's hesitation wasn't for the same reason she'd stopped kissing him the first time. "Remy!" Rogue whispered quietly, eyes darting around at everyone present who were similarly shaking off the stun-effects from the guns and glancing up at the both of them.

"Shhh." Remy soothed quietly, speaking only loud enough for Rogue to hear. "Empty ketchup bottles, Rogue, jus' dink o' de bottles."

"Ah _hate_ livin' in ya body." Rogue spoke in a low undertone, fighting to ignore the people around her and concentrating on her steady breathing. It was hard, being so close to someone else like this, but Remy was effectively hiding it by keeping her so tight.

"It does make de arousal painfully obvious, _heh_, especially in dese leather getups." Remy chuckled lightly in a deep, sotto voice.

"It _hurts_ in this getup." Rogue muttered softly.

"I dink I t'ought up o' somethin' t' get back at Jeany fo' dis an' force her hand."

"What?" Rogue asked, Remy could feel her heart beat increase. "What is it?"

"Shhh." Remy calmed her, chuckling quietly. "I tell y' later, me."

Betsy appeared around one of the sliding-down walls then. Sweating, looking frantic, she yelled in a huff. "There's a fire in the locker room! Scott needs help!"

That got a lot of attention. Bobby and John both raced for the room while Kitty and Alison realized that their stuff might be in danger and charged after them. Tabitha left more reluctantly, probably due to some mental probing from Betsy. Around them, the Danger Room was returning to normal.

Remy and Rogue stayed kneeling on the floor in each other's grasp as Remy held her. Betsy winked at the both of them. "Sorry for the delay, Rogue. Guess I showed up a little too late to save you."

Rogue was blushing again, but extremely thankful all the same. "Thanks fohr the 'fire', Bets."

Betsy nodded. "No one's gunna remember anything...suspicious, be assured. I'll just…leave you two here for now, then."

She turned and strolled casually out of the Danger Room, leaving them alone. Remy patted Rogue reassuringly on the shoulder. "Y' better now _chere_?"

"We're _not_ kissin' again until Ah get mah body back." Rogue stated firmly.

"Again?" Remy questioned, grinning hopefully. "So dis _wasn't_ jus' a spur o' de moment excitement t'ing!"

"We'll see." Rogue said promisingly. "Two's a coincidence, three's a trend."

"Let's make a trend." Remy put in eagerly. Before Rogue could begin to voice anything, Remy caught her lips again. Rogue was hesitant at first, but she quickly got lost in the moment and Remy was overjoyed when he felt her respond to the sensitive kiss. Again oblivious, or simply not caring about their predicament, the two joined and fervently shared a memorable moment as they became lost in each other.

Remy was the one to pull back this time. He pointedly glanced down at Rogue's body and Rogue groaned softly, turning her head away. "Shit, not again!"

Remy grinned broadly. "Y' know what dey say, _chere_: two's a coincidence, three's a trend."

"You're dead, Cajun. As soon as--Ahhh! Ow!" Her grip on his shoulders tightened.

Remy was impossibly pleased and smiling like a fool. "Turned on, _chere_?"


	12. Two of a Kind

_**A/N: Hey everyone! Okay, first off: Sorry for the Extreme lateness of this fic. This whole day I've been trying to upload for you guys, really, I was like 'how could the frikin thing break! It's the last chapter! Nooo!' and then it STILL wouldn't work, even after I pleaded with it and sent supportfanfiction six letters of desperate outcry. And I was soo very sad, soo sad, lamenting while I just said 'I can't make them wait till Tuesday!' and finally, after the whole day passed me by, I was blessed with an idea that should have hit me hours ago: Copy and paste into something that's already uploaded! So here I am, so very sorry for making you wait 'cause I couldn't think quicker, and here is, indeed, the last chapter of this story. It has been A BLAST and I'm sad as all hell to see the fic ending, but maybe I'll talk with some of you guys in future fics or cross over into one of your stories or something. So anyway, I just wanna thank you all one last time for all the motivation you've given me and for pushing this story to such great hilarity. Thank you everyone, really, you're just as responsible as me for how wonderful this turned out. I'll really miss all of you :)**_

_**With that said, here is your last chapter of this fic (it's longer than usual! if that's any consolation) thank you all for being such great fans**_

_**-----  
**_

**"Remy, stop it!"** Rogue braced her shoulders up stiffly from her position on the floor and held Remy aloft above her. She strained to keep him up despite his struggles.

"Just one little kissy, Rogue." Remy puckered his lips at her and fought to press his weight down on her and lower his face.

"No!" Rogue protested vehemently, effort written across her features as she breathed raggedly to keep Remy aloft. "Forget it!"

Remy pouted at her. "Y' din't have a problem kissin' me in de public Danger Room."

"Ah'm not kissin' you!" Rogue's arms quivered. "Ah've kissed enough girls ta last me a lifetime."

"But 'm not _really_ a girl." Remy argued.

"No, but you're _really_ in mah body an' Ah have no intention of kissin' mahself again."

"Or gettin' another boner, _chere_?" Remy asked with a sly grin.

"Don't trah again, Remy! Ah'm serious!" Visibly worn, Rogue tossed off Remy to the side as her arms fell to the ground limply and she breathed in deeply. Remy rolled on the ground and stayed put, watching her with cheerful eyes and a happy grin. Rogue took half a moment to catch her breath before turning her head in Remy's direction. "Ah still don't know 'bout this whole Scott thing." Rogue said warily. "You're just gunna what, walk up to him an' dance around him 'till he accepts a ludicrous invitation to your room?"

"I won' have t' do no dance." Remy corrected. "But _oui_, Scott will accept."

"When Ah said Ah thought Scott was pervy for me, Ah was half-kidding Remy. Ah mean, Ah've caught the guy lookin', but that doesn't mean anything."

"It means everyt'ing." Remy assured her. "Trus' me, Scotty will accept at de drop o' a dime. Y' give me t'irty seconds an' I'll have him eatin' outa m' hand."

"Ah don't know." Rogue said doubtfully. "An' what happens when he doesn't accept an' thinks Ah'm some kinda horny slut?"

"Dat won't happen." Remy still saw her reluctance. "Come on, _chere_, dis be an integral part o' de plan!"

Rogue sighed deeply. "Why am Ah always the one put into compromising positions? No matter who's body, Ah'm always the one with the short stick."

"Who's stick y' callin' short, _chere?_"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Fahne Remy, do what ya must."

Remy yipped happily and rolled over to hug her. Rogue backed up. "Uh-uh! Keep those hands away, Cajun!"

Remy gave her a lazy grin. "Let's go find Scott, _chere_."

-----

**Scott happened to be in the kitchen when they finally located him. **Rogue stood in behind the wall next to the doorway, looking nervous as Remy gave her a carefree smile and strolled inside the kitchen. Rogue pressed up against the wall and leaned over, listening intently.

"Hello Professah." Remy greeted with a thick replica of her accent. Remy sassily wiggled his butt as he made his way over to Scott's chair. Rogue rolled her eyes from her peeking position. _This is a stupid idea. Why did Ah agree ta let him do this? Ah'm gunna get suspended from the school fohr this._

Scott glanced up from his breakfast and smiled widely. "Rogue!" He stood and rushed over to Remy, meeting him halfway across the kitchen and grabbing his hands with his own, holding them. "I've been looking for you."

_What the hell? _Rogue thought incredulously, eyeing their linked hands.

"Ahh've been lookin' forr y' too, handsome." Remy laid it on thickly and Rogue cringed at his words.

"You have?" Scott asked hopefully, his eyes shining with happiness.

"'Course Ah have." Remy continued, rubbing his hands up Scott's arms. Scott shivered in pleasure. "We have a little date, don't we?"

_A date? What the hell is going on here? It looks suspiciously lihke Remy's done this before._

"Mmm, yes." Scott's eyes drifted down to her boobs, where Remy was wearing a revealing top. "I'd like that." Remy winked at him. Scott looked up suddenly. "But-what about your skin, Rogue?"

"Don't you worry none 'bout that." Remy assured him. "Ah've got that problem covered."

_Ah hate it when he makes stupid puns lihke that._

Scott was practically drooling with desire. In a surprising act, he dropped his hands to Remy's butt and hefted Remy up off the floor before taking several steps forward. Remy's back collided with the other side of the same wall that Rogue was using for cover and Rogue's eyes widened in surprise and shock. Scott grinded his hips against Remy's stomach and even Remy let out a peep of surprise. "Feel her?" Scott asked huskily. "She's for you, baby."

_What the fuckin' hell is goin' on?! Ah swear to God, no one in this mansion's innocent! And we're supposed to be the good guys?_

"Bessy's ready for you." He punctuated it by thrusting at Remy again.

Rogue covered her mouth in horror, afraid she might squeak and give away her position. _Bessy?! He named his penis Bessy?!_

Remy made a little noise that kind of sounded like he was choking, but Scott took it as a pleasurable groan. "Oh-oh _baby_!" Remy gushed. Rogue glanced down the hallway behind her again to make sure no one was coming to see this. "Y' so hard!" Another choking sound erupted from his throat. _What is he doin'? Ya gotta get outa there, Remy!_

"All for you." Scott replied in a thick voice. He dipped his hand and started to go for Remy's zipper.

Rogue blanched and was about to step forward to break this up, but Remy beat her to it. "Oh baby! Not here!" He glanced around the kitchen speculatively. "It's too public."

Scott drew back his hand. Rogue breathed a silent sigh of relief. "I understand. Would you like to come to my room?"

"Ahh would liike that." Remy drawled. Scott stepped back and released his grip on Remy. Remy slid to the ground and Rogue saw him visibly restraining his own relief. "Could ya give me a little bit ta get ready?" Remy asked seductively. "Ahh'm sure yaah have somethin' nice ta wear fo' me too, _heh_?"

Scott looked excited by the thought. "Yes, of course! Come by when you're ready, I'll be waiting!"

Remy nodded. "It won't be long."

Scott gave Remy one last smile before heading for the door. Rogue ducked down and crouched in the corner to avoid being seen, but Scott didn't even notice. He was too busy happily strolling away, hands over his obvious erection. Remy waited for half a minute before coming out.

"What the _hell_ was that all about?!" Rogue demanded. "He was sniveling fohr you!"

Remy shrugged. "I tol' y' Scott would say yes."

"That wasn't a yes! That was a let-me-die-in-your-hands-and-rub-my-Bessy over you." Rogue's jaw locked. "This _isn't_ the first time you've done this in mah body!"

"Aww Roguey, be serious. Why would I hit on Scott in y' body?"

Rogue tried to think back. "Mah paper!" She finally exclaimed. "The test you cheated on! You _did_ give Scott a lap dance, didn't you?!"

"It wasn't _exactly_ a lap dance…" Remy treaded carefully.

"You did?!" Rogue looked horrified. "Ah'm gunna kill ya, Remy!"

She made to move against him, but Remy stepped back and held up his hands. "I'll kiss y'!" He threatened. Rogue froze and Remy grinned widely. "We all know how hot y' become when I do dat." Remy grabbed her hand; Rogue immediately tried to pull it away, but Remy kept his grip tight regardless. "Now let's go, _chere_, we gotta talk t' Alison. Y' don' want Scott keepin' Bessy fo' y', do y'?"

-----

**Alison licked her lips lusciously. **Rogue quirked an eyebrow at her outfit while Remy gestured her away. Rogue shook her head as the girl pranced away to Scott's door. "Ah cannot believe the residents of this mansion! Is everyone so sex-driven? God, even the teachers!"

Alison made her way to Scott's door and pushed it open without knocking. Scott was laying out on his queen size bed in a white speedo, his erection painfully evident through the cloth. He wore nothing else and was prodding himself gently. "Harder. Harder. Come on, Bessy. Harder." He looked up as the door opened and jumped back in surprise. "Alison!"

"Well don't you just look like sex warmed?" Alison shut the door behind her as she sashayed into the room, looking Scott up and down while Scott blanched back, very confused.

He covered his bottom half with a blanket and stuttered. "W-what are you doing here, Alison?"

"Hopefully I'll be doing you." She reached the edge of the bed and started crawling up it predatorily. "Come here, big boy." She tore the blanket off him. "I'm ready for you."

"A-A-Ali—ugh!" she had reached him and now was climbing up his chest slowly until they matched up. She grabbed him up then and squeezed him to her chest.

"Shhh." Alison silenced, pressing her mouth against his. Scott quickly took up the heat as she began making out with him. Scott's hands went under her shirt and Alison pulled away only long enough to let him remove the garment. "Let's play."

Together they fell into a world of pleasure.

-----

**_Remy, Rogue, may I see you please?_** The telepathic message was projected through both their minds simultaneously and Rogue jumped in surprise.

"Do ya think we've been caught?" She asked anxiously, glancing over at Remy as she observed his brow crease as Jean's message caught him too.

Remy shook his head. "Nah, Jeany jus' wants t' switch us back now."

"Are you sure?" Rogue asked cautiously. "How do ya know that? Ah thought we were settin' up Jean to make her switch us ba—"

Remy continued shaking his head. "_Non, chere, _dat's jus' for revenge fo' all de sufferin' she put y' through, _heh_? I always knew she'd switch us back before we get her."

"Not that Ah'm not grateful ta be on mah way ta switchin' back, but won't she see in our mahnds what we've been plannin'?"

_"Non,_ Jean's all 'bout code o' ethics when scannin' a mind, like de professor. If y' purposely block off thoughts from her, she's not gunna dig t'rough dem t' see. Jus' put up walls around what we currently been doin'."

Rogue looked slightly doubtful, but she followed Remy to the lab anyway. Jean was there, waiting. She smiled at each of them kindly. "I've found a way to cure you!"

_Yeah, thanks. Ah hate telepaths._ Jean gestured to two medical tables that were side by side next to each other in the med lab. "If you two would both sit down, I could get started." She nodded encouragingly as Remy and Rogue went to the tables and laid down on top of them. "I'm going to have to knock you out." Jean told them. "When you wake up, everything will be back to normal."

Rogue cast Remy a glance that showed how worried and scared she was. Remy wanted to hold her hand, but the tables were too far apart. He gave Rogue a sympathetic, reassuring look and tried to keep her calmed by staring straight into her. Ignoring the obvious differences in their situation, Rogue rested her head to the side and stared back too. She chewed on her lower lip nervously, then winced when she hit her cut.

Jean knocked out Remy first. Rogue wished she done it to her because now she truly felt alone. With Remy out and just laying there limply, Rogue swallowed thickly and tried to train her mind elsewhere. She wasn't left alone for long. Not but a few moments after Remy was knocked out, Jean came up to her side and put a hand over her head. "I'm sorry." Jean apologized. Rogue wondered if it was for their situation or for the knockout that was about to occur. Two seconds later, a telepathic bolt fired into her mind and Rogue's head lit up in a flair of pain and protest before shutting down altogether. Rogue lay limply on the table at the mercy of her antagonizer's whims.

-----

**Rogue's mind stirred slowly as she was roused from the restful slumber into a bright world with bright lights. **It only took her mind half a minute to recount what had happened as she went under before Rogue sat bolt upright and her hands went to her chest as her eyes trailed downward too.

"Ah'm a girl!" Rogue cried out happily as she felt two familiar breasts under her fingers. She rejoiced in the feeling of her returned parts and lack of others, hugging herself tightly and closing her eyes happily.

"Roguey!" Another familiar voice called out. Rogue opened her eyes and dropped her hands in just enough time to be bowled over and tackled. Both bodies fell off the table and rolled to the ground, Remy hitting back first and Rogue _plumping_ on top of him. Remy didn't seem to care though. He wrapped his arms around Rogue tightly and pulled her even closer into him in a warm, secure embrace. "I missed y' like dis."

Rogue fixed her arms up under his shoulders and squeezed him back, content to stay there with him, just sprawled out and relaxed over his body. "Ah missed me too." She joked, snuggling into his comforting, flat chest. It was warm and relaxing, his lungs slowly taking her up and down with every breath.

Remy chuckled lightly and simply held her, happy and light of spirit himself. They stayed that way for awhile, neither knowing how long, but both content. Rogue was the first one to break the comforting silence between them. "When did ya take off ya shirt, Remy?"

"Y' noticed dat, huh?" Remy asked with a grin. "I figured y'd like m' manly, hairless chest, _chere_."

Rogue smiled softly. She lifted her cheek from Remy's chest and propped her chin down instead, staring into those beautiful ruby eyes of his. Remy kept her gaze. "Remy?"

"Hmm?" Remy mumbled, tracing a hand through her white streaks. Her hair was so soft, so perfect and light.

"Ah think Ah lihke ya raght now."

Remy grinned broadly. "Is dat what y' t'ink, Roguey?" Rogue blushed, but it wasn't like when she colored in his body. This was just a soft, rosy coloring that filled her cheeks and made her all the cuter. She had turned her eyes away from him in sheepishness, but Remy gently took her chin in his hand and directed her gaze back to him. "I definitely t'ink dere's somet'ing we can do 'bout dat." He lifted his head very slightly.

The rosiness rose in her cheeks more. "Ah haven't…"

"I know, Rogue." Remy assured her, tracing the line of her jaw with the back of his hand. He smiled at her softly, ever patient with her and waiting.

Rogue stared down at him with those wide, emerald eyes of hers. Slowly lowering her head, she touched her lips against Remy's. A tingling sensation arose in her tummy as she slowly lengthened the kiss to absorb him all in and memorize every detail, every texture. Remy was soft and gentle with her, cupping her face as her own arms reached around his neck. Rogue lightly nibbled on Remy's lower lip and he responded by poking his tongue out to lick her own before he drew it back in. Rogue moaned softly.

Rogue's stomach was positively skittering with jumpy, hungry butterflies. They drew back together again and Remy pressed against her possessively, capturing her mouth and claiming her. Rogue was just as eager and let him hungrily take her before coming back and driving his head down to the ground with her own force and enthusiastically kissing him back. Taking turns as they played and teased each other with their mouths, the two were oblivious to all else but each other. Rogue reveled in every touch, every texture; it all felt new and brought her body alive in a way that a simple kiss had never done before.

When they mutually pulled away for a brief second, after what had seemed like a small eternity, Remy was smiling up at Rogue. His beautiful face tugged at her heartstrings as the butterflies in her stomach continued to flutter. "How's dat fo' y' first real kiss, Roguey?" His gorgeous features were handsome and cocky and sure all at the same time.

Rogue smiled softly. "You're a bit rusty. How often did ya say ya do this? 'Cause it hasn't appeared to help any."

"Why, y'!" Remy tickled her sides with his fingers and Rogue squirmed on him, giggling and trying to bat his hands away.

"Stopit!" Rogue laughed and wriggled, trying to escape his flexible fingers. Remy silenced her little tickling fit of struggles when he finally stopped and kissed her again, effectively ending the tickle war as he lost himself in the feel of Rogue against him. Rogue melted into Remy again, picking up his same eagerness as the two quickly became lost in each other again.

From a distance away from the united two, Jean smiled softly at the peace and comfort they obviously found in each other. The sight of them together made her heart warm. _See? I **did** do a good thing, no matter what my intentions were. I've never seen Rogue so happy before._ Both of them made her think of her own happiness, which bended her thoughts over to Logan. Not wanting to disturb the happy couple, Jean quietly left the med lab and went off to find her own tiger.

-----

**"Jean's gone."** Rogue announced, her head resting against Remy's chest. Remy's arm was curled around her shoulders protectively

"Jean's been gone." Remy pointed out.

"Shouldn't we go?" Rogue asked. "Follow her an' complete your plan?"

Remy shook his head. "Not right now, we shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Jean went off t' go sleep with Logan again." Remy responded knowingly.

Rogue gave him a reprimanding expression, tilting her head back to look at him. "What makes ya say that?"

"She was watchin' us kiss, _chere_."

"So?" The idea was slightly embarrassing, but Rogue wasn't ashamed or anything about it.

"So we're hot as hell, Roguey, what do y' t'ink people watch porn fo' before dey have sex?"

Rogue slugged him on the shoulder then. "Ya sayin' that Jean was turned on bah watchin' us kiss? Eww, Remy, you're disturbing. It's not lihke we were havin' sex."

Remy chuckled. "O' course Jean was turned on. Have y' seen either of us, _chere?_ We're sexy! An' together, we're double sexy! Dey should write stories 'bout how sexy we are t'gether! Or! Or we could star in a movie t'gether, _chere_! Somet'ing like: Remy an' Rogue, Two of a Kind, _heh_? De world would love us."

Rogue rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah, okaaay."

Remy stroked his hand through Rogue's hair. "Aww, Roguey, y' just de cutest little innocent _fille._ Some day y' understand de motives an' actions o' adults."

"Shut up." Rogue elbowed him in the stomach from her restful position and Remy chuckled.

"Roguey, if we ever have a baby, can we name it Romy?"

"What?" Rogue asked in bewilderment. "What're you talking about?"

"A baby, _chere_." Remy rubbed her stomach to emphasize.

"Lihke Ah'm ever gunna let _you_ inta mah bed." Rogue replied sassily, but she didn't move to take away his hand as Remy continued to massage her tummy, sending all kinds of butterflies attacking at his touch.

"Y' already invited me once." Remy countered. "'M sure it'll happen again."

"Mah boyfriend, ladies and gents." Rogue presented wryly.

Remy's hand on her stomach paused then. "Boyfriend, _chere_?" _Did Ah really say just that? _Rogue turned her head away shyly as warmth spread through her stomach from the point of Remy's still hand outward. Remy's eyes appeared to be glowing, he was so happy.

"Well—Ah'm not gunna go 'round kissin' random guys." Rogue said defensively, hiding her embarrassment with her normal sarcasm. "What do Ah look lihke, one of ya hoes?"

"I don' need no hoes wit' a girlfriend like y'." Remy began rubbing his hand against her belly again. "Not t' mention de trouble I'd get in wit' y' if I did."

_He called me his girlfriend! _"Damn right!" Rogue replied haughtily, still hiding her warm face from him. _Has he **ever** called anyone that before? _Her thoughts made her blush even further, despite that she was trying to calm that. _Damn boy! Ah've never been such a girl before about someone flirting with me. How does he always make me blush?!_

Remy kissed the top of her head briefly and Rogue's stomach fluttered again at the touch of his lips. Remy reached under her shirt just enough to lazily drizzle his hand across her stomach and playfully tease her. Rogue's mind and body both lit on fire at his touch on her skin, so unfamiliar with the sensation she had been until only recently. Her insides felt like warm, melted peanut butter, his touch brought her to life like so. _Damn body! _Rogue glared down at herself petulantly. _Traitor!_

"When are we gunna go after Jean?" Rogue asked, just to have something to say, just to distract herself from how Remy's touch was sending her over the edge.

"'M in no hurry." Remy replied lazily, smiling so smugly that it seemed he knew _exactly_ what his touch was doing to her body. And still, his other hand continued to stroke through her hair. The dual sensation of lying with her head on his chest and his fingers prodding her belly while his other hand toyed with her hair was just making her crazy. Rogue hadn't felt her body respond like this to anybody. It was almost ridiculous, how warm and content she was.

"So what do y' say?" Remy asked after awhile while Rogue tried to calm her racing heart and settle her defiant body.

"What?" Rogue asked in a daze, struggling even to snap enough out of the sensations to hear what Remy was saying. His words took half a minute to register. "What do Ah say about what?"

"'Bout little Romy." Remy prodded. "I t'ink dat's de cutest name."

_It is really cute…_ Outwardly, Rogue snorted. "Fohr a dog, maybe."

Remy chuckled lightly. "Romy it is."

"What if we have a girl?"

"Romy's gender-neutral." Remy informed her.

"_Romy_ sounds almost exactly lihke _Remy_. Are you sayin' your name is gender-neutral too?"

"Oh so now y' gettin' int' de t'ought of it, _heh_?" Remy teased.

"The day Ah have your children, Cajun—"

"—will be a glorious one indeed." Remy interrupted, smiling joyously at the thought. "Y' make a wonderful daddy, _chere_."

Rogue snorted again. "Okay _Remelia_. Gunna teach the girls how to walk in high heels and put in their tampons?"

"I t'ought I did dose quite well, t'ank y' very much." He patted her stomach again. "How's y' tummy, _chere_? Y' not gunna suddenly turn an' attack me, are y'?" He was gloating over all the jumping butterflies in her stomach, Rogue knew. _How does he always know? That cocky little bastard!_

Instead of responding, Rogue lifted her head and swung around, climbing up on Remy's lap. Remy looked pleasantly surprised. "How very bold o' y', _chere_."

"Shut up." Rogue commanded, pushing him down by the chest until he laid back against the floor again. "You bad, bad boy." Rogue leaned down and pressed against him, lightly chewing at the base of his neck.

"Does dis mean I can give y' a hicky too?" Remy asked excitedly.

"Silence!" Rogue commanded, pushing Remy back down to the floor. She moved away from his neck then and rose to his chin. Her free hand that wasn't pushing down against his chest came up and stroked the bristles desirously as she concentrated on his mouth, manipulating it with her lips and hungrily attacking down as she parted his lips with her tongue. Remy groaned loudly as she moved and it wasn't long before the reaction she was looking for happened. She could feel it against her jeans, fighting to grind against her.

Only when she felt his body respond this way did Rogue let up and rise from Remy, despite his own protests. She haughtily grinned down at him and patted his chest with her hand. "Ah'm not the only one who can't control her body's reactions." With that, Rogue stood and went to the med lab door, winking at him over her shoulder. "Go take care of yaself now." She disappeared through the door.

Remy glanced down at his pants after Rogue had left before looking back up at the door she'd gone through. Rogue had played him, the same way he had tantalizingly brought her to life as he touched her. He smiled widely. "Damn, I _love _dat girl!"

-----

**It was tricky; they were slumbering and the trio of antagonizers had no intention of waking them before they were finished. **They worked silently and quickly, one watching the door, one watching the bodies, and one doing the work. It was a long ten minutes before the worker finally opened closed eyes. "It's done." They nodded and grinned at each other while the worker shook her head at them, grinning nonetheless.

"Let's go." They disappeared from the room quickly, leaving no trace of their arrival. It was as if they'd never been there at all.

-----

**Scott sighed happily in contentment as his mind slowly brought him into the waking moments of consciousness. **It wasn't as he had expected, with Rogue, but Alison had been an amazing substitute. The girl was crazy about sex and she had shown him new things that he had never known before with Jean.

There was a heavy limb draped around his stomach and a back pressed up against his own, snuggled up tight and holding him. He was spooning, he realized. _Why is Alison on the outside?_ Scott wondered idly. _Doesn't the man usually sit there? Or have I just been doing this all wrong?_

Scott turned over in the warm arms and lazily opened his eyes.

His scream could be heard for miles around the mansion.

-----

**Jean immediately knew something was wrong.** There was a deep, pulsating bulge at her core that a woman should _never_ have to feel. In horror, Jean gaped down at herself, unable to fully open her mouth because there was a white handkerchief tied around the back of her head and covering her mouth, effectively gagging her. _This can't be happening. It's not happening. It's not happening. Oh please, God, no!_ She tried to pull her hand down to touch herself and confirm the nightmare when she realized that she couldn't. Her hands were bound to the bedpost with two pairs of fuzzy, pink handcuffs.

"Hey gorgeous." A feminine, sexy voice spoke from beside her.

Jean's eyes fell on her bedmate, Alison Blaire, who was dressed in the most auspicious stripper's clothing that Jean had ever seen. Alison eyed her like a piece of candy before grinning as her gaze fell upon Jean's speedo that had a very obvious bulge poking through. "You're hard already, that's good."

Alison looked up suddenly and grinned as Tabitha came out of the bathroom. "I've got the lotion!" Tabitha announced.

"I thought you'd like it if we shared." Alison explained. "So I brought some friends."

_Friends?!_

Blushing bright red, Kitty came out of the bathroom next with John carrying her over to the bed. "We're all gunna try some new things today." Alison promised, winking at her seductively before stretching out over Jean's nearly naked body. She licked a trail up Jean's chest and, to Jean's absolute horror, the hardness at her core hardened even more. Alison smiled. "Ladies?" She called. "And gent. Let's get to work."

Jean screamed through the cloth.

-----

**Remy sniggered as Betsy relayed what was happening through the mental link to the both of them.** Rogue shook her head at him reprimandingly. "Fohr someone who didn't really have ta suffer through this ordeal, you are takin' an ungodly amusement from this."

"It's hilarious!" Remy chuckled. "Look at Scott's face! He's gunna wet himself any second now! And Jean?! Hah! Dat'll be de last time she ever messes with us, _heh_?"

Rogue smiled lightly as Betsy portrayed what was going on through the link. "You're shameless." She paused, grinning at the sight of Jean positively squirming to get away. "How long are ya gunna leave them there?"

"It don' really matter, long enough t' suffer t'ough. Betsy already tol' them all what we planned an' told dem dey couldn't do nothin' _too_ bad."

"She didn't tell Logan." Rogue pointed out.

Remy grinned. "Dat's true, but the _homme_ deserves a little outrage huh? After nearly dissectin' me, he can get his own too."

"Ah'd still be worried 'bout Tabitha." Rogue snickered. "That girl cahn be hard ta hold back, even with set limitations."

_TABITHA!_ Betsy's mental shout suddenly pervaded through the telepathic link. _GET YOUR MOUTH AWAY FROM THERE! _The shout was accompanied by a mental image that made the three of them shiver in horror for Jean.

_Whaaat?_ Tabitha complained. _You said no sex! This isn't sex, it's oral!_

Remy was positively beaming salaciously as Betsy mentally dragged Tabitha away from the poor victim Jean. Remy turned to Rogue and swept her up in his arms, ignoring Rogue's yelp of surprise, he dragged her close and kissed her fervently with hungry passion and clear desire. When he pulled away, Rogue was breathing raggedly and her pupils had dilated. "See, _chere?_ Aren't y' turned on by seein' Logan an' Scott-in-Jean?"

"You're disgusting." Rogue muttered. Nevertheless, she was the one to lean back in and go for that second kiss. Rogue eagerly pushed up against him as they kissed, fighting to touch all she could of his warm flesh. She held him close and she was content. She silently cursed as he started playing his fingers across her belly again. _Damn traitorous flesh. _There, just like that in each other's arms while they were brought to life with each other's attraction, there was true happiness. Rogue smiled; she had finally found her bliss.


End file.
